dashcat
Member
First, please know that I know that I'm not dealing with even a fraction of what so many of you deal with and have dealt with. I am well aware that my worries are comparatively small. But I hope you'll indulge me as I work through these feelings.
My difficult child wasn't always a difficult child. She was a delightful child, an honor student...there were a few red flags along the way, but she did not bloom into a difficult child until about four years ago. I fear there is worse ahead and am powerless to help her.
My main issues with her are her lying and her risky sexual behavior. I've done all a parent can do about both and I do understand that it is now out of my hands. I've drawn my boundaries with my home and she's respecting that.
But I worry about what's ahead. She's currently living with her dad and, while her dad is on his own kind of dissconnect, we do have a good relationship for the most part. We agree to disagree a lot. He's a very detached father - more like a buddy - and she can do pretty much what she wants there.
She dropped out of college (had a great opportunity) 3/4 through her Freshman year and - until yesterday - was working 20 hours a week at a nursing home doing laundry. She has no car, but could walk to work, and we were both willing to drive her when we could. She claims to have gotten a job at Penny's and planned to work both. I am very suspicious about the Penny's story, though. She said training was Tuesday but then said she could either go Tuesday or Saturday. That just doesn't sound like the world of retail to me. We'll see when Sat rolls around.
She had a small savings account and blew through it living in a hotel with a guy she'd met on the internet and known for less than a week. Dad drove them to the hotel (so you know what I'm dealing with). She has a CD that I'd opened for her with about 1,500.00 in savings and it comes due in two weeks. Who knows ... is she thinking she can "live" off that?
And, I guess, here is the true source of my fears: It's the magical thinking. She tells people she's a classically trained pianist and wants to give lessons (she is very talented, but only took lessons for two years, quitting in the 7th grade!). She'll tell people she has a car when she doesn't. She seems to give no thought to the next step: How do I produce a car when I don't have one? She thinks nothing about quitting a job and laying around all day.
Like all of you, I wanted so much more for my little girl. I never saw this coming. I fear for her future and I feel helpless.
Thanks for listening.
Dash
My difficult child wasn't always a difficult child. She was a delightful child, an honor student...there were a few red flags along the way, but she did not bloom into a difficult child until about four years ago. I fear there is worse ahead and am powerless to help her.
My main issues with her are her lying and her risky sexual behavior. I've done all a parent can do about both and I do understand that it is now out of my hands. I've drawn my boundaries with my home and she's respecting that.
But I worry about what's ahead. She's currently living with her dad and, while her dad is on his own kind of dissconnect, we do have a good relationship for the most part. We agree to disagree a lot. He's a very detached father - more like a buddy - and she can do pretty much what she wants there.
She dropped out of college (had a great opportunity) 3/4 through her Freshman year and - until yesterday - was working 20 hours a week at a nursing home doing laundry. She has no car, but could walk to work, and we were both willing to drive her when we could. She claims to have gotten a job at Penny's and planned to work both. I am very suspicious about the Penny's story, though. She said training was Tuesday but then said she could either go Tuesday or Saturday. That just doesn't sound like the world of retail to me. We'll see when Sat rolls around.
She had a small savings account and blew through it living in a hotel with a guy she'd met on the internet and known for less than a week. Dad drove them to the hotel (so you know what I'm dealing with). She has a CD that I'd opened for her with about 1,500.00 in savings and it comes due in two weeks. Who knows ... is she thinking she can "live" off that?
And, I guess, here is the true source of my fears: It's the magical thinking. She tells people she's a classically trained pianist and wants to give lessons (she is very talented, but only took lessons for two years, quitting in the 7th grade!). She'll tell people she has a car when she doesn't. She seems to give no thought to the next step: How do I produce a car when I don't have one? She thinks nothing about quitting a job and laying around all day.
Like all of you, I wanted so much more for my little girl. I never saw this coming. I fear for her future and I feel helpless.
Thanks for listening.
Dash