Getting healthy: Ties in with Lil's weight loss thread.


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Do you have Ikea anywhere near you? They sell good and affordable child/animal gates
Oh we already have two baby gates. It's just that they don't actually "fit" anywhere in the house because of the house layout. We just lean one against the door to the kitchen and the stairway railing...hard to explain, but the dogs could easily get past it...they just don't! Kind of like the 1 foot tall "fence" I put in front of the Xmas tree...they don't really consider going over it, even though they could just step over. lol We gate them in the living/dining/kitchen with us now just so we know what they're doing. I guess we're a little over-protective, but they do like to get into stuff!

The "dog whisperer" guy got those rubber Kongs, filled them with peanut butter and froze them, the dogs worked so hard to get the treat they forgot all about tearing stuff up

Our poor pups. The literally don't get toys. :( They are such chewers that they destroy everything! And fight! They insist they have the same them two identical chews and they both want the same one. We used to give them nylabones, until Sue broke a tooth on one! We used to give them toys, but they de-stuff a stuffed firehose in about 10 minutes. Any toy with stuffing - empty and the face eaten off in seconds. The hard-rubber nubby balls? They lay down and chew on them...chew pieces right off! The only thing we ever give now is hooves. Literally, give them 4 identical hooves and they still want ONE. Mac will steal all four and lay on them to keep Sue from having them! Such brats!

Maybe they wouldn't do that if we weren't there?

I get up at 4 am and work out for an hour

My God woman! How early do you go to bed? lol I can't imagine getting up that early. :bloodshot:

You know, the fact is we KNOW this stuff! We DO! We've done it before! Several years ago, I lost 100 lbs and Jabber lost 80 or so. We KNOW how to do this. I think we're just so overwhelmed right now. Between the house, the kid, two jobs, and all the other commitments.

Planning your weekly meals does take some effort first, but believe me, it seriously lowers your stress level and saves time and money in the long run

Yep...this is one of the things we always did on Weight Watchers.


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I'm loving my Fitness pal phone APP! It really keeps one accountable and it has opened my eyes to how many calories I was consuming in little things like milk for my coffee and salad dressing. Plus, I'm on a health kick due to health concerns. I'm in shock myself, NEVER in a million years thought I could do this, but I no longer use any milk or creamer in my coffee at all now. And I've switched to one tablespoon of Annie's all natural Italian dressing or a splash of regular oil and vinegar in my salads. I am finally losing (one moment, while I light a candle and cross myself..................----------......--------.-.-.-.-.-.) and have more energy. It took awhile to get to this point and much talking to myself (ha). For me, ill health is a big motivator. AND my blood pressure is much better and my doctor said if I keep it up, she can lower my blood pressure medication.

******One trick I learned was drink a big sip of your coffee BLACK first. Then put half the creamer in as you usually do and taste it. It tastes GREAT after that!


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Planning your weekly meals does take some effort first, but believe me, it seriously lowers your stress level and saves time and money in the long run.

We've done this in the past. When we were doing WW as a matter of fact. We just need to get into the habit again is all.

As for the coffee maybe try a good French Vanilla flavored coffee and forgo the creamer all together.

You're the second person today to suggest this to me! Considering it.

When you cook, make enough for extra meals. I have a food saver vacuum system. Love that thing!!

We always have made extras for work the next day. We had the vacuum thing for a while but it quit working and we never got a new one.

We can safely leave the dogs out by themselves for a half an hour to an hour but haven't tried longer than that. As for leaving them toys to distract, they are chewers. We got them a section of fire hose that had been stuffed and sewn shut. Instead of playing with it, they worked at it until they got the seam ripped and could de-stuff it. Even with kong like toys, they will find ONE spot and worry it until they break a chunk off.

Tanya M

Living with an attitude of gratitude
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My God woman! How early do you go to bed? lol I can't imagine getting up that early
LOL, I'm in bed by 9:00
I have always been a morning person.

You know, the fact is we KNOW this stuff! We DO! We've done it before! Several years ago, I lost 100 lbs and Jabber lost 80 or so. We KNOW how to do this. I think we're just so overwhelmed right now. Between the house, the kid, two jobs, and all the other commitments.
That's awesome!! You did it before you WILL do it again. Slow and steady, you'll get there.


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I agree totally about getting in the habit of planning your meals. When husband and I did WW together, we did that. And I often made a WW dinner from a recipe from one of the cookbooks. There is one chicken recipe we still make often.

Now I'm basically just using my calorie counting APP and watching carefully that I avoid sugar and other non nutritious foods, etc. And I've had very good luck with putting in what I'm going to eat one day ahead of time. I can see where a portion is too large, or if I want a special meal for dinner, then I'm going to have to go lighter for lunch.

I rarely make double (or multiple) portions, although I know this works very well for some folks. The reason is that my self control seems to be NIL. If I get over hungry and I know I have leftover dinner in the fridge, I just might eat it. What I have are one or two Amy's TV dinners around 320 calories each and if I messed up and it's dinner time and I'm over hungry, I can eat that instead of ordering a pizza or just over eating because it took me too long to cook and now I'm crazy hungry and ate three portions of something. It's my emergency food.


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You know, the fact is we KNOW this stuff! We DO! We've done it before!

That is great! Knowing it is always the first step. How about starting to make those change little by little? I understand that changing everything is too big of the task especially when you are busy and stressed. But how about one change a week? Every week picking up one more of those good habits till you get there. It wouldn't feel quite as overwhelming than having to change everything at time, would it?


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I tend to freeze leftovers. They are not so tempting and I can store them longer.

We always cook big portions, because Joy's schedules are unpredictable and at times he may bring a friend. And when Ache is here, it really depends from his appetite, how much we need food. Neither I or husband eat little, but Joy eats huge portions and Ache absolutely ridiculous ones. And because we do not want to have too little food, I always make plenty and freeze the rest and use them either as work lunches or dinners when either of boys is not home or as a snack for them when they are (yes, my whole meal is a little snack for them, especially for Ache who usually eats 6 to 8 meals a day and consumes around 7000 kcal a day, and that should be nutritious and healthy, not too much fat and plenty of carbs. In reality it is a shocking amount of food.)


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I know we can do this. I agree the biggest problem is just starting.

Have you ever had a job SO BIG you didn't know where to start? Like, getting behind at work, or having a yard that is just SO overgrown...and it's like that...I sit and look at it and just...look. It's just so much you don't know what the first step should be.

In this case, it's kind of our whole lives that have gotten out of control.

1. Kid - and all the attendant drama
2. Three jobs between the two of us
3. House cleaning - which is HUGE. Literally EVERY room in the house is a disaster!
4. House remodel, which involves
a) the contractor finishing
b) painting
c) flooring
d) basic repairs
5. Church commitments
a) My duties as board secretary
b) both of us on committees
c) Jabber serves as elder
d) Jabber in choir (though he's mostly quit)
e) we run video for shut-ins
6. Losing weight - LOTS of weight - SO much weight!
7. we're looking at real estate too!

What comes first? The house? The meal plans? Where do we fit in the exercise we need to do? Between getting off work at 5 and going to a church meeting at 6 that might last until 7:30? After 8 when we get home? We NEED to get that house cleaned. We WANT to get the Hell away from it all and so we spend the weekend looking at real estate that will take even more time away from the house when we get it!

We are NEVER going to sell our house if we don't get it cleaned and repaired and while the recreational real estate we're looking at makes the move less urgent, it still needs done!

I'm exhausted!

I rarely make double (or multiple) portions, although I know this works very well for some folks. The reason is that my self control seems to be NIL.

Before, on WW, we would cook then automatically split it up into servings that went in the fridge for lunches. It worked.

That really does have to be job 1 with weight more and eating out less. Or at least making healthier choices when we eat out. Subway is right past McDonalds. Roly Poly is right before we get to church! Both are healthier than our usual.


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I just wanted to chime in about the creamer. I use Coffee Mate's sugar free vanilla and it's only 15 calories a tablespoon. One tablespoon is plenty sweet enough for me along with a teaspoon of Splenda. It tastes great and barely makes a dent in my calories. I also joined up with myfitnesspal along with Weight Watchers. WW says I don't need to count calories but I do anyway. I want to make sure I'm staying around 1200 calories a day as well as counting my Weight Watchers points.

And I can really empathize with the both of you on the exercise dilemma. I work at a stressful job, both my kids still live at home and need me, and exercise just isn't my top priority. I also hate, loathe, and detest any form of exercise. I envy those like my coworker who love the whole process of going to the gym and working out. My supervisor hits the gym for a minimum of two hours every single day after work. She actually LIKES it!

I am one who hates the entire process from beginning to end. We have a gym in our apartment complex but I've never been to it yet. I hate exercising indoors. I go for 20 minute power walks outdoors and being in the fresh air makes my exercise a little more tolerable. I get to see kids outside playing, people out walking their dogs, and plenty of bike riders. I also listen to my favorite music and it helps the time go by faster. In the end I am sweaty and short of breath, but I feel so accomplished after I am done. Even 20 minutes of brisk walking makes the weight drop off faster. Dieting alone was helping me lose approximately one pound a week, but my walking gets me down 2 pounds a week. Every little bit helps. If I can do it, I have total faith the both of you can do it as well.


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I also hate, loathe, and detest any form of exercise.

Preaching to the choir. :choir:

I HATE working out. I'm a naturally sedentary person. My entire life I've been a sedentary person. I enjoy sitting on my hiney, laying down, doing most anything besides being active and I always have. I don't like sports. If you ever see me running, it will be because I'm being chased by someone with a lethal weapon...or maybe a bear.

But I used to do it. We own an elliptical for a reason. The first time I got on it, I did 3 minutes. But I kept getting on it and soon I was up to 5 minutes. Then 10. I was up to 30 minutes at the end. I also used to park almost a mile from work and walk when the weather was good. I actually wouldn't mind doing that again, but it's winter and I need to have enough time to get there and I have been getting up too late!

We also own a Bowflex. I've used it exactly twice. I'm not sure if Jabber has ever used it. It's kind of asinine to own an $800 piece of equipment and never use it.

I admit, I felt better when I worked out. I remember feeling just...more "there". I was more awake, more present at work. I know I need to get back to it.

That does not mean I like it, which made it much easier to quit doing it.


Ok I need to pipe in here. I have been fat all my life. Sometimes more fat, sometimes less fat. My metabolism is totally hosed because of the decades of yo-yo dieting. I also have a desk job and a whole drawer full of the been there done that t-shirts with the parenthood challenges.

I had gotten to the point that it was painful to just move. Simple, every day things that most people don't think twice about were becoming challenging if not painful or impossible. And if I heard one more peppy "well, what I do...." or "just move more!" from some well-meaning person who had never carried more than 20 or 30 extra pounds on their bones...well, I was going to dump their 576 calorie smoothie over their head.

I knew it was not going to get better unless I took some serious action. And I damn sure didn't want to live however long I have left feeling so handicapped! Being skinny or even average isn't my goal. I want to be healthy. I want to do the things I want to do without my own fat and lack of strength holding me back.

So my goal isn't even weight loss. It's being able to tie my own shoes without getting out of breath. It's being able to walk up a couple flights of stairs without passing out. It's being able to walk a couple miles and still have 20 minutes left to eat lunch. It's being able to wash my own damn butt without giving myself a hernia!

3 months ago I gave up processed foods. I would highly recommend reading "Salt Sugar Fat: How The Food Giants Hooked Us" by Michael Moss. A month ago I started exercising on purpose. Starting super slow...just walking and stationary bike mostly right now. Kettlebells, bosu ball and medicine ball in near future. I'm enjoying the feeling of strength and control starting to build.

I'm almost 40 lbs lighter, and 2 or 3 sizes smaller than I was but the best thing is that I'm not in constant pain. I can walk 2 miles. I can tie my shoes. I feel like the rest of my life may be tolerable after all. And it's just going to get better. I'm still considered obese...a long way from giving up the plus size stores...but I'm nothing near what I was 3 months ago. I feel good. Strong. Getting stronger.

Baby steps. Start with that first one.


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I almost eliminated saturated fat from my life and I check calories. There is no doubt that fifty pounds lighter, I feel better. Physically, I am way behind my age and can do lots that some people who are huffing and puffing at thirty-five can't do (including my sedate son who has gained a lot of weight since turning thirty).

I think working out is very important, even if you just make it your business to walk.

Jabber an d Lil, you two get along great. I think you live in a warm climate. If not, find a larger room and walk for up to an hour (work up to it) five days a week and talk about your day and other things while you take your walk. Or mall walk. Yes, you are tired when you come home from work, but you WILL get used to spending some time walking and you may find you are not as tired too!! :) Exercise kicks stresses arse too!

Remember, as well, if you smoke you can't be totally healthy. My husband smoked until he turned about 50. That gum helped him. He still chews the gum at times, but it's better than the smoke. At least I don't make him stand outside at 1am in Wisconsin's cold to And his awful smoker's cough is gone.


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This stuff is not good for you. Try Stevia

I'm reserving judgment on this just yet. Still new enough that I don't think all the data is in. You remember when saccharin first came out. It was going to save us all from obesity. Yeah, not so much. But hey! You get this lovely chance at cancer as a consolation prize! Sorry, feeling a bit snarky after trying to read that damned article on "Rainbow Children" and how we shouldn't stifle them and instead should follow them because They know better than us even though they have NO education or experience whatsoever to support their hippy dippy bull :censored2: claims.

Back away from the soap box and no one will get hurt!

Thanks for your input Tess. You aren't the only one who has commented on giving up processed food, unfortunately I just cant see how that will be possible with our current situation. We aren't to the point where we are in serious pain from this. We both have bad backs but hers is from a car accident and mine is a life time of bad posture. Granted, losing some weight would definitely help with my knees. But you're right. No matter what we try to do we need to ease into it and not try to make major and immediate life changes.


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Well, giving up processed foods actually is something we could least in part. If we define "processed foods" as stuff with tons of additives and fillers, read the label and if it's unpronounceable it's processed; the boxed meals and such, white breads, etc. We aren't too bad at that already. Bread and pasta is one of our biggies...and sweets, boy do we love our sweets...though other than toast with breakfast and the sandwich we had for lunch yesterday, we aren't eating that much bread. We could go back to a better quality whole grain. Generally if we're cooking, we do okay. The turkey sausage in our lunch today is probably not great, but tonight's chili is beans, tomatoes, ground isn't bad. More vegetables and meats, less bread, potatoes and pasta.

But you know, I lost 40 lbs once on a diet my doctor put me on. The first thing he had me do was TRIPLE my carb intake! And I lost! I kept that off for over a year...then the fat food came back.

They have stevia at the church. We could snitch a few packets to try...everyone there uses the sweet and low anyway.

Tess...You GO girl! :D

I think that's what really gets me about what I weigh now and how out of shape I am. Like you Tess, I've always been fat, more or less. But darnit it was less than 10 years ago I was 80 lbs LESS than I am now! This isn't my highest weight - I have 20 lbs to go for this to be my highest - but I REMEMBER feeling like you are feeling now. I REMEMBER being healthier. It felt SO GOOD.

How did I let this happen again. :(


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Im working on putting last nights dinner in my fitness pal so will let you know the verdict on one of our favorite meals!

My point on the Stevia is that its still a sweetener, artificial or not. I'm on my second cup of the morning without sweetener although I'm still doing all of the creamer. We will see.

Scent of Cedar *

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We've started to adjust our work schedule to where we have Saturdays off and while this gives us one full day off a week (we clean after church on Sundays but it takes less than an hour) it does make the whole proper meals each night and time to exercise...I guess time to
sleep too...more difficult.

Jabber, do not take this the wrong way. One full day out of seven to live your lives is not enough to live a life in. The time at the end of the day and the food at the end of the day and the taking our mates to bed at the end of the day ~ those things are life, Jabber.

Waking up with our mates in the morning, feeling them beside us in the night. That is the fire that brings our lives to life, and you both need that time, Jabber. There is no time like the waking up when the sun is there before you open your eyes and your mate is in your bed with you and you have the living glory of time.

If you are really having a great waking up, someone will bring you fresh, hot coffee with cream and the paper.


Everything fresh and right and clean and safe.

Take Lil to a great hotel and have that morning.

Like the president said in his State of the Nation speech: "They were young and in love and living in America."

That's us.

It's like tending a fire, in a way.

Once the fire goes out, once it burns in the same way every time you approach it, there seems no longer to be a need for the fire, for romancing the fire, of our lives. We begin to pick at things ~ ourselves, one another; this, that, or the next momentary diversion. Novelty is an adequate replacement for fire, sometimes.

Punishing ourselves can absolutely become an adequate replacement for fire. But here is a secret. We are the carriers of the fire. All we need to do to rekindle it is decide to do so.

This is not a matter of pounds or inches or even, muscle mass. (Though muscle mass is an excellent, desirable, and gloriously attainable thing, a triumphant "Yes!")

You are a romantic in your soul I think, Jabber.

Courtly love.

Your soul hungers for that degree of heroism and integrity.

Lil is your lady love.

Anybody got a match?



Ok, that's disturbing. Just made a cup of coffee and looked at the creamer nutritional information. I'm consuming almost 200 calories a day of non-dairy creamer. No other significant nutritional value. Disturbing. Time to start drinking it black. Or quit drinking it all together? One thing at a time.

I know what to do, just not how to do it.

Follow the fire.

You have already tried the other ways.

Follow the fire.

However you need to do that, follow the fire, and the other things ~ for both you and Lil ~ will fall into place.

That is something my husband taught me, actually. And he was very right.

It really all boils down to time.

She will take you, one step at a time over time, to a level of organization, cleanliness, and joy in yourselves and your home. Later in this thread, the idea of menu planning came up. There is a section on that in Flylady, I believe. The whole idea of this site is time, and what to do with it, and how to be who we intend to be. Food is part of that. Order in our surroundings is part of it.

One extra job a day. You set a timer and stop after 15 minutes.

That's the secret.

That, and starting by cleaning the kitchen sink.


I DO know that every horizontal surface in our house is dusty, the bathrooms are filthy, I can't remember the last time I vacuumed and I just can't seem to get any ambition to change the stuff I hate. :(

This happened to me too, Lil. I lost interest. There was no reason to make "home."

It's okay that this happened, and it will pass.

If you two do visit Flylady, there is a section where she walks us through those overwhelming feelings of too much stuff. We are supposed to go into whatever room we chose to do our fifteen minutes in that day with a basket for things we cannot bear to part with, a trash bag for trash, and a Goodwill bag.

Wishing our old possessions well, we send them off to someone who will cherish them. This is about faith. We have faith that our new lives, begun fifteen minutes at a time, will contain only things we cherish.

It turns out that the ways we choose to live our lives have much to do with how we have learned to love ourselves.

I hate to admit it, but I think mostly that carp is it will be both of us.

You could each do your own things. One works his or her fifteen minutes while the other begins dinner. Begin in faith that we are working toward having only those things in our lives that we cherish. After a time together and then, food, the other person does his or her fifteen minutes while the first person does the dishes.

Set a timer.

No more than fifteen minutes, or you will not be able to stick to it.

There has to be a time for each individual in the marriage and then, a time to come together before bedtime.

That's how we do it, at my house. My husband just got after the neighbors because down here, everyone always wants to stop over at people's houses, disrupting their evenings and their end of the day time.

That time is sacred.

Time is the only irreplaceable thing.

That is why I never come on here at night.

That time is sacred. Even if I hate just sitting there sometimes, I am sitting there with D H.

And so, we made our lives, one sacred, secret thing at a time. And before I knew it? There was a lifetime of sacred rhythms.

Not that I don't hate my D H sometimes. I do. And sometimes, he is actually foolish enough to think he hates me!

But that's okay. Life, married life for sure, is all about the rhythms.

Should I eat first or wait until I've walked before eating?

Walk. Who needs lunch?

On the size issue...Orson Wells. Picture Orson, majestic and authoritative and mesmerizing.

You can do this.

You both can do this.

You love one another so strong, it makes me want to cry in happiness to see it, to see the wonder of it.


Also, it is the caloric intake over a month's time that defines our size. Where are you squandering calories you don't cherish? Which are the things you cherish so much that budgeting them in is worth the things you will choose to go without to have them?

Remember too that now is the time your brain is adjusting to decreased levels of nicotine. Break through it.

You will not master your body. You will come to celebrate the wonder of the thing, and how it is that it makes it possible for you to experience the richness and over the brim fullness that is life. And if we are very fortunate?

To play with fire.

We need to get our lives more organized first.

I think you need to sleep more, first. Then, you need to sit with Lil near a river somewhere. When our lives are falling apart because our kids are self-destructing, we lose our better selves little by little. It is a strange feeling to make ourselves a priority again.

But I think that is the only place to begin.

Near water.

Let it wash you clean.

It's 30 calories a tablespoon for the sugar free. How many do you use? I figure I'm getting about 60, maybe 100 calories from creamer!

Now, multiply that by the thirty days of the month. Does anyone remember how many extra calories it takes to make a pound of fat? I am thinking 3,000.

I'm wondering if they'd be okay alone in the house for a whole hour? I've never left them alone uncrated for more than 1/2 hour in the past. (They eat anything and everything!)

What about gating them in the kitchen with the peanut butter treat idea mentioned on an earlier post? They would love it, and you would know they were safe.

difficult child son had Rottweilers. He would do that for them with peanut butter. They loved it.

Not the gating them in the kitchen part. One does not gate a Rottweiler.


I have told this story before. When things were at the worst of it for us, D H carved out a time sacred to us. He insisted that I give him this time, that I try.

So, I did.

It was the last thing I wanted to do, to spend time alone with my D H.

But I did.

For us, that was meeting in our own dining room at 5:30 every day. No phone. No computer. No television. I could have music. I chose Dean Martin because it set that time aside from anything to do with our daily lives and made it special, made that time a time out of time for us. When we hear Dean Martin today, it calls the (eventual) warmth and (even more spectacularly) the heat of those times for us.

We each had a Manhattan.

Sometimes, we had more than one, but not usually.

And the fire at the heart of our marriage, and the fire at the core of our home, was reignited.

That is what you are after. The fire and the passion and the joy that is married life. I think that if you set your minds and hearts on that, the other things ~ the weight issues, the time and stress issues ~ all that will resolve on its own, step by step.

We are married coming up on forty-three years, I think it is.

And there is still nowhere I am happier than in whatever bed we are in with my face right up next to my D H 's.



The only other thing that I know is that if you go for the joy of the thing ~ the feeling of the sun and the wind on your skin when you walk, the scent and light and color of your home when you walk in (or the joy of the dogs or whatever it is that keys joy for you when you walk into the sanctuary of home) then motivation and discipline become momentary things suffused in joy.

It is true what they say. It is all about perception.

Duty is one thing, and will get you where you want to go, eventually. Joy is a better thing. You are already there, even if you are still making your way toward whatever the goal is.


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You will not master your body. You will come to celebrate the wonder of the thing, and how it is that it makes it possible for you to experience the richness and over the brim fullness that is life. And if we are very fortunate?

Not trying to master it, just herd it....a bit!

What about gating them in the kitchen with the peanut butter treat idea mentioned on an earlier post? They would love it, and you would know they were safe.

Not really an option. One door is easy to gate but the other is like 8 feet wide.