I had a call from my doctor's office this morning with my MRI report (brain MRI). All was well and good. So that is a huge relief that my brain isn't festering some ominous problem. I am not off the hook MS wise until I can have my spine MRI as some people have lesions on the spine as opposed to the brain (or both). But all in all, a great sign. How weird am I though that I am kind of pi#$ed right off??? I mean, obviously I am grateful there is nothing bad showing on my brain scan. The part that is ticking me right off is that not one test can find out what the heck is going on in my body and I am frustrated to tears. My body is going to he#@ in a handbasket and my quality of life is so impaired that I often don't feel like I'm living at all. So I really just need some answers. I do see the neurologist Feb 1, so not long to wait to see her finally. But wondering what/if anything, she is going to be able to do for me. I'm so darn confused and more than a little bit upset, where I should be jumping for joy that I don't have a bad MRI report. I think that the worst part of all, aside of course from the obvious of feeling like crap much of the time, having days bed ridden, multiple ER visits, major physical pain, vision problems etc ... is that when you have no answer for yourself as to what is happening, you also have no answers for anybody around you either. When you "look normal" but your legs are in massive spasm, or your foot is dragging, or your back is out, or your bladder/esophagus etc is in spasm, or your vision is blurred or you have such bad vertigo that you nearly fall over just from shifting your eyes or slightly moving your head ... how do you help people understand that you are really not okay? That you aren't up to the things they want/need from you? What is happening in my body is very real and very debilitating and once again I have no answers. How stupid is it that had there been some answers on MRI, regardless of what it was, I would have been grateful to just have answers. But here I am with tears welling in my eyes out of sheer desperation for some sort of conclusion to all of this? I'm plum tired. I waited so long for what was thought to be the testing that would provide some answers. I've been through so many other tests. This process has been long and I've suffered alot in the waiting time. And I am no further ahead than I was when I started this all. I've tried to remain upbeat despite major physical pain and losing my quality of life. I have sucked up missing hosting family dinners, Christmas. I have missed 95% of easy child's hockey games this season. I have not been able to attend any of difficult child's basketball games. I have not walked further than the corner store in over a month, and only on good days. Any further, even on good days, and I am in bed for 2 days with pain pain pain. My dog seriously has not been for an actual walk since before Christmas. I don't feel like sucking it up anymore. I am growing angry and weary. *sigh* Putting it in perspective, the MRI results are good ones. Truly under all of my emotion I am grateful. Hope all of that makes sense??? Melissa ... think I just need a hug!