Finally had a good visit with difficult child. difficult child is on 2 week "freeze" for throwing a temper tantrum at Residential Treatment Center (RTC). This means no weekend home visits. I went to see him last Sunday and he was being extremely manipulative. When it was clear he wasn't going to get his way he became rude and I left. The whole visit didn't even last 10 minutes. Today I decided to visit and I brought my dad with me. difficult child has always loved grandpa and they horse around a lot. Well immediately difficult child wanted to be moody and I could tell he was going to again manipulate, fail because I won't give in and then get rude or out of control. But grandpa hadn't seen him and weeks and he immediately grabbed him and hugged him and gently teased him. difficult child couldn't help but laugh. I just stayed quiet for a bit and joined in the fun gradually. It wasn't long before he warmed up and was his usual funny, playful self. Once he was in a better mood we lightly touched on the subject of his "freeze". He got it because he couldn't get his way with the staff and has been trying ever since to get his way. Basically he doesn't get along with one of the kids there and wants to be moved to another team. difficult child is not in physical danger and the staff want him to learn coping skills when dealing with someone you don't like. You just can't run away from unpleasant people. My dad pointed out that maybe this kid is having a really hard time being away from his family. difficult child seemed to take this in because he piped up and said "he hasn't even earned an 8 hour pass yet". That's the initial first pass you get for good behavior, it usually comes after 3 or 4 weeks there. difficult child says that kid has been there for 2 months which means he isn't making any progress. My dad and I expressed empathy for the kid and difficult child was listening. He didn't say anything but I could see the wheels in there turning. We stayed for about an hour and left him in a better mood than we found him. My question is that towards the end of the visit difficult child asked me to bring him soap, toothpaste, and his electric toothbrush. Now he is provided all these things at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) but he wants the electric toothbrush and he wants the paste we use at home and the "manly" soap (that's what he calls that scented Axe type stuff) I usually buy for him at home. Is it okay for me to bring him these things? What if difficult child's dad brought them? He is supposed to visit him Sunday? Does that send the same message as me bringing the items? Part of me wants to but part of me wonders if he is testing the waters to see how much I will do for him. I didn't promise anything because I'm truly undecided. difficult child also asked me to visit him tomorrow. This is a first because he's never wanted me to visit twice in a weekend. Thanks for listening.