Had to post again to ask a serious question

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by SomewhereOutThere, Aug 19, 2017.

  1. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Back again, not often, but for hopefully feedback on new situations for us.

    I inherited from my dad. If we are smart, we can take care of our needs. I am used to having nothing extra and did not have to manage money. We had none. So this is different.

    My husband and I are simple folks with no desire to change our frugal lifestyle. The only item we are sure we will buy is a newer old RV for travel. All else is not yet on the radar except growing our nest egg, even slowly.

    I know many of you folks are financially savvy. We are going to ask our lawyer for assistance about what kind of financial advisor to appoint, but I am also asking any of you for suggestions. We dont want to be those people who finally get some money and blows it. I still will love miimalism, thrift shops, garage sales, farmers markets, bargains and the things in life money cant buy. We would like to be able to give Jumper a reasonable wedding or help buy a house for her (maybe down payment) or some college fund for Princess baby, but not so much that our kids have to care for us ever. And we dont have so much that this money is endless. We will have to still be smart or it will be gone.

    Who do you advise we contact...what sort of financial advisor?

    Things are very sad at our house. So much in so little. Dad is gone...so missed. Then as soon as we literally stepped back from Chicago into the door of our home, my husband had a sudden attack, his first, of atrial fibrilation and spent a night in the hospital and has to see a cardiologist. He is wearing a monitor now.

    I am going on very little sleep. I keep seeing my dad and crying. I see my husband in the hospital. More crying. I worked last night and felt more normal while I was there. I have to work a lot! Being home is bad for me. Hub does not require my care and urged me to get out of the house.

    I still read your stories and pray for you all and will post now and then, but sparingly.

    My little family supported one another and, honestly...I have to do better myself...me, I... to love them more. To not be so sensitive. To remember how well we did during a tragic time. They are worth it. I have to do my part.

    Thanks for all suggestions on finances or a-fibrillation. Love you all. I am still with you.
     
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2017
  2. Mamacat

    Mamacat Active Member

    My husband and I have a small nest egg mostly from selling some houses we bought many years ago. We still live very frugally...thrift stores, garage sales, shopping for bargains. We do spend for travel and we will donate as we see fit. We did invest some in the beginning, but I don't like the stress of ups and downs of the stock market. So ours sits in a credit union earning nothing. They sometimes remind us that they have a financial advisor available and I say no thanks. I know there are safe investments but it too much for my little brain to figure out.
     
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Thanks. We could do that too. The stock market is not a consideration.
     
  4. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Be certain you are awwwe of fees. I do not know regulations in the US so make sure to place it safely in the bank and take your time, do your homework. I too will get some income from my Parents estate eventually. I intend to use it to pay off the home. As we get older less is more, I find now I want less stress, less stuff and more time.
    AFib is easily treatable inn even the underlying cause is discovered. I differ from a non ablatable (they kill the over active tissue in the heart with a small electrical probe) form of A fib. I have had a few episodes that have required treatment but all tends to settle down. Stress does make it worse.
    I so miss my parents especially at a time like this. Take time to grieve. Don't keep so busy you don't take care of your spirit.
     
  5. ColleenB

    ColleenB Active Member

    Swot,

    First let me say how very sorry I am for your loss... losing someone you love is a horrible and draining experience. With your husbands health issues on top... I imagine you are very stressed and emotional. So very sorry xoxo

    As far as the money, being cautious is a good plan. I think travel is a great investment in ones life, and it is a priority for us. We connect as a couple and family in ways that are so important for ourselves and our mental health.

    I hope you find a trusted financial advisor to help you navigate. We do have money in stocks and have for a long time... using a reputable investment company is key, and it isn't so scary. We have had dips but long term our money has grown.

    Good luck and hugs to you
     
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  6. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    We have used Edward D Jones financial services for about 20 years. My mom used them, and gifted me some funds before she passed. I just left the funds there. Then we added some to it. They did a questionnaire about your goals and how comfortable you are with risk.

    We selected some balanced funds, mutual funds in a variety of companies, so if one goes down, not everything goes down.

    There are fees involved. Some are no load, and you pay when you take money out, and some you pay a fee when you invest, but not when you withdraw.

    This year, in 7 months, we averaged 11% interest. Over all, we have averaged 6 to 8 % over 20 years in several different funds. Some years were negative, but it averages out.

    Hope you find something you are comfortable with.

    Ksm
     
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  7. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    SWOT. I am glad your dad left you and your family enough to ease your burdens in retirement and to make things easier for your children. I wish I could provide you with some financial advice, but husband left nothing but medical bills, and my mother will be leaving enough to cover funeral expenses and that's it. I too have a small policy to cover cremation.

    No small windfalls in my family, unfortunately. I wish you the best of luck in finding a good, trustworthy financial advisor. I also hope that grief is kind to you and the rest of the family and that you and they grow closer as time goes on.

    Best Regards,
    GN
     
  8. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    Oh sweet lady, I'm so sorry for the loss of your dad. ((HUGS)) and love to you!!

    My husband and I have a financial advisor with Edward Jones and we are very pleased with their service.
    They are very thorough in asking questions and gauging your risk level and also what life style you are comfortable living.

    There are many financial advisor companies to choose from. Ours did not charge for an initial consultation.
    I also have found their fees to be reasonable.

    Wishing you all the best SWOT!!
     
  9. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I do not intend on posting much, but sometimes I will. Thank you for your suggestion. That sounds good.. i like the thorough questioning. We are definitely going to give them a call! We want conservative and nitpicky. Nothing risky.
     
  10. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am so very sorry for the loss of your father. I am even sorrier for your husband's heart troubles. (((((HUGS)))))

    My parents also use Edward Jones for their finances. As a family we are heavily invested in P&G because my grandfather and many other relatives worked for the company. The stock has done very well for us for generations. I have an aunt and uncle who are very well off who use Merrill Lynch for their finances. I know they invested in Pepsi and in McDonalds. These are stocks that really never go down in value because people never stop buying their products. Not even during the recessions do they lose much, or so I have been told by my uncle.

    Many years ago there was a husband and wife crime solving team in a series of stories by Mary Higgins Clark. They won a lottery and rather than invest, they spread the money between a bunch of banks. Each bank only got the amount that the government would insure, so it was a LOT of banks. I still think that was a fairly clever scheme if you want no risk. You don't get any real return though.

    You are going to need an advisor and I think any of the big firms should be able to help. I would stay away from independent firms. Go for low risk investments and if you do choose stocks, look at what your family uses each day and go with those companies.
     
  11. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    SWOT

    My husband handles our finances but I do know when his parents died and left him/us some money that we paid off our car (which we have since traded in) and put money down on a condo in Florida and a rental near our home. He loves real estate and we were able to take advantage of the burst of the real estate bubble.

    We don't have loads of money that we manage otherwise but others suggestions are good.

    We will leave whatever is left over to our three boys. Older two don't ask for anything and are completely self sufficient.

    Again so sorry for your loss and husband's illness. They say bad things happen in threes.

    :staystrong:
     
  12. kim75062

    kim75062 Active Member

    So Sorry for you loss.

    I can offer no advice on financial things because we are still young and broke lol

    Just wanted to let you know I'll say a prayer for you ❤️
     
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  13. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    SWOT,

    So sorry about your dad.

    Hope your hubby is on the mend!

    If I recall, your hubby is a veteran, so you might want to call USAA Financial Services. They may have some helpful advice.

    Apple
     
  14. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    My advice would be to consult an Elder Care Attorney first, then a Financial Advisor. The Elder Care Attorney is informed about the unique tax and sheltering laws for people at or close to retirement age, and will guide you accordingly based on what you and hubby want to do with the money. A good Financial Advisor will help you implement your plan and hopefully grow some of the money for future needs based on your risk tolerance.
     
  15. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Thanks all.

    Last evening we saw our lawyer who is almost a friend...took a liking to us years ago and does all our legal work, usually at a discount. He was the attorney four our city for a while...good guy too.

    First of all, we had to change our 20 year old will lol. Then we asked if he knew any good financial advisors.

    He told us that if we were a family member he would advise us to switch fron our credit unuon to a regular cinservative bank, named a few, and told us just to talk to their own funancial advisor. We trust him a lot. Want no big risks, but do want to get sime investments going at low risk. I doubt it will cost us much to use this service from the bank.

    We do not plan on using much of this money.
     
  16. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    SWOT, so sorry for your loss and scare with hubby. I hope is on the mend. I also use Edward Jones, although I hated my particular advisor. I since changed to a new guy closer to the farm.
    Sending love and healing vibes ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
     
  17. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Did you ask him why he suggested to not use a credit union? I am curious about that because often a credit union can offer advantages to a bank. But credit unions are not always insured, it depends on certain things.

    It is good your lawyer is someone you like and trust so much. Go with him as you are comfortable with him. I was mostly just curious about the credit union thing.

    You may want to consider one thing my grandparents did. My grandpa and grandma moved to FL around the time I was born. They were concerned about the number of con artists preying on the elderly and did not want to ever fall victim. They put their funds into a trust. They had it set up so that they worked with a bank as the trust officer. They had some flexibility as to how much they got per month, etc... and if they wanted to move or anything big, that took quite a bit of work and notice. I am sure they had the money in the bank to go buy most any house they wanted for cash, but with the trust they had to do paperwork and wait a certain amount of time. This was so that the investment or property or whatever could be checked out by the bank. If it didn't check out properly, the bank would not authorize it.

    This might be a way to safeguard your money so that you are not vulnerable as you travel. Trust accounts don't have to have huge amounts. I used to think that you had to have huge sums to set them up, but you don't. Ask for information on them at the banks you speak to. Even if it isn't as convenient, the extra protection might be very useful. It can also be very handy with taxes, I think.
     
  18. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Susie, I so appreciate your advice. We will ask. As for the credit union, not sure. I still have lots to learn.

    We want to make a modest profit on the money and not spend most of it (live on our own money that we get from SSI). Some will go for a used RV (about 10k and we can get a good one), some to a boat ($2K or so) and we fo plan to hrlp Jumper put a down payment on a house and pay part of her wedfing, which she wants to be modest. After that, it is all going away to sustain us. We are not going to spend a lot or change much. Our teo kids from this marriage...we want them to inherit. The other teo will get a huge chunk from their Dad, but these two were not going to get anything nor did either eber complain that they didnt have enough or ask for a dime. Now they csn finally get a break. Sonic eill have a special needs trust with a payee set up. Jumper will get the rest. Princess and Bart know the arrangement...dont care as they will be well taken care of by their dad. They both already get a lot from ex.

    Anyway, lots to think about yet still sad and grieving...death is so strange. So confusing. I cry st the drop of a hat and cant sleep. I think my father is with me often. Very odd feeling.....I hope this never goes away. Its comforting.
     
  19. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    Terrible with money and know nothing about afib - but wanted to tell you again how very sorry I am. You are in my prayers. It gets easier my friend, in time.
     
  20. seek

    seek Member

    May your loved one rest in peace.

    On the advice to switch from a credit union to a bank, I am no financial expert, but disagree just on principle (and watching my ex take advise from his bank advisor). The advice you will get from an advisor who works for any particular entity will be to invest in the services of that entity. It is very self-serving.

    I have recently moved money from banks to a credit union, as I detest big banks and was finally able to accomplish this moral and ethical goal.

    I would ask your friend/attorney WHY he made that particular recommendation.

    My ex has an annuity and it has been quite stressful over the years - but he is loyal to this one particular guy who manages his money - and is paid a pretty penny to do so.