Happy Birthday?


Becoming Independent
My son will turn 33 on March 16th. You can check out my story. Bottom line is RJ does not do what he says or is suppose to do. I have helped him out (& my friends & family) overwhelmingly. He has moved and promises to call to give me with updates, etc. but has not. I am so angry and hurt by him. Do I swallow my pride and at least wish him a Happy Birthday or would this be an opportunity to not be a part of celebrating with him? I love my son....but a part of me feels, if I call, make a move, that he will think every thing is okay. Feedback?


Active Member
How about “I wish things were better every day but today I just wanted to wish you a very happy birthday. Ilove Mom.”


Becoming Independent
Update: I have sent R.J. a poster and a vinyl that I figured he would like.
I plan to call him Friday, but plan on making the call short & sweet.
Due to weather issues, I did not get time to get a card out in the mail.
I can do it today, but it will not get there in time.
I have to take care of myself.
Thanks for the feedback.


New Member
My kids are young, but I’ve watched my mom with my brother. I’m not suggesting this, but it did work for her. She sent him a card and told him she hopes he buys himself something nice with the money. She purposely didn’t put money in the card. My brother called the day he got the card. My mom’s goal was to get a phone call so she could at least hear his voice and she wanted to tell him he was loved.

If you want to say happy birthday, go ahead but please don’t expect anything. Give yourself the gift (on his birthday) to let go of the anger. I know it’s really hard to do, but your happiness depends on it.