have you ever used the American with Disability act for your difficult child?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by sjexpress, Apr 23, 2012.

  1. sjexpress

    sjexpress Guest

    I know that law is effectively used in school for all the services that many difficult child and other students require but I was wondering if you have ever needed to quote the law for activities outside school?
    I posted the other day about my difficult child getting ejected from his baseball game because in anger after he struck out, he threw his helmet and bat down in the dugout. It was deemed poor sportsmanship and he was tossed and also not allowed to return for any games the remainder of the weekend. Now he did not, nor has he ever, threatened anyone with the bat or helmet nor has he ever been confrontational with any player, coach, umpire, etc... he just threw his equipment out of frustration and needing to get his anger out. I do understand the rules set forth regarding sportsmanship but what I would like to know is if I disclose to the sports league about difficult child's behavior and emotional problems, I was wondering if I can at least get them to give difficult child at least one warning about his behavior and then if he does it again, then eject him. I would never ask he be exempt from the rules, but just given a second chance due to his mental disability. difficult child would more than likely cool it if given a warning. He listens to any one but his parents!
    In schools, those with learning difficulties are given extra time on state exams, etc... so I do feel children with mental issues deserve a bit extra too. Except for those moments that occur at times, difficult child does great in sports and loves it. I feel so awful that those moments of poor decisions that he has difficulty controlling will ruin what he loves to do. I was just wondering if any of you knew more about this law? I did find the website and will call them later as well. Thanks

  2. keista

    keista New Member

    Have you checked yet what the league has to say about accommodating kids with disabilities? I'd check on that first and go from there.

    Also did you check to see if they have the punishments for bad sportsmanship spelled out? Getting ejected from a game sounds right, but from the whole weekend sounds a bit extreme.

    Anyway they should have some sort of guidelines manual somewhere. I'd look there first to see if they do/will make accommodations and if they were maybe a bit too harsh.
  3. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Is this a group that gets public monies? If private you might not have much pull, unless as Keista said, checking their policies you can see that he violated the disability policies. Did he know about difficult child's issues before this incident?

    I have had to use it for things like going to a school sponsored event. They wanted me to pay for an Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) worker to enter the same as my son. Yet I knew they didn't charge a nurse that went with a classmate who is in a wheelchair. My son's Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) worker is an accommodation that makes it so he can attend school events, so he should not be charged, he doesn't eat the snacks or make it so a student wouldn't be able to go (like take up a seat when there aren't many available)....and they not only agreed but let Q in for free...lol.
  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    To your question, I don't know. I was hoping someone here had an answer. :)

    In regard to the game, throwing him out of one game, yes.
    For the weekend, hmm, unless it's the 2nd or 3rd time.
    For the rest of the season, he'd have to have a major history of that type of behavior.
    There are plenty of kids who act like that (my easy child dated one) and the coach was able to handle them all with-o knowing their background issues.

    How is difficult child taking it? I would take a cue from his reaction.
  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I tried to get an exception for my daughter who loves basketball (and this was her school team). She was currently getting one "F" in a subject she could not seem to grasp, but was trying hard (per the school) and she had a 504 Plan for learning disabilities. I called the coach and asked for an exception and he said that we'd have to call the league for Wisconsin sports (I kid you not). So I called them and they told me that there were no exceptions for any reason. Any child getting an "F" in any subject is not allowed to play until the grade goes up, regardless of whether or not he was disabled. Digging further, mostly out of curiosity, I found that there was nothing I could do about it. She actually only missed one game (pulled the grade to a "D"), but apparently academics and sports are two different animals at least here. I don't believe they have to accomodate disabilities for sports teams.

    Just passing along my experience. I hope you have a better one. I do think it would be a good idea to allow your boy to have another chance to play. Our kids usually have such low self-esteem and the last thing they need is to be taken out of sports, if this is where they excel...jmo.
  6. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Here, it varies...
    School sports - if the subject in question is covered by an IEP, then the grade has to match "IEP expectations"... So, all the IEP has to say is "sports participation not to be contingent on marks in subjects X, Y, and Z". Behavior expectations... are trickier.

    Outside of school, little-league ball, etc. - not nearly so forgiving.
  7. keista

    keista New Member

    MWM, You know *they* are still upset that they are supposed to provide equal funding for girls' sports. God forbid they'd have to accommodate disabled ppl too!
  8. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    That's ironic, Keista...
    Here? They'd rather fund disabled sports, than girls! (i.e. disabled guys get funding ahead of disabled girls, which are ahead of non-disabled girls. non-disabled guys still go first to the trough)
  9. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    As far as having to pass all of their classes, I think the logic is that they are already getting accomodations in class to account for the disability.

    As far as being ejected for the weekend, that is Standard Operating Procedure for most tournaments. In Piglet's sport, an ejection in a league game leads to a 1-3 game suspension and for some offenses it is an automatic suspension pending review by the ethics and conduct board (they may consider the disability as a mitigating factor and choose a shorter suspension than the typical 30-90 days). An ejection is a tournament is an automatic suspension from the tournament and a possible referall to the ethics and conduct board for supplemental punishment.
  10. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Just adding that the coaches I know that have a difficult child on their team will often talk to the refs in advance and ask that the ref allow them to remove the child from the game prior to it reaching an ejection so that the refs get what they want (a disruptive child away from the game) and the child doesn't get additional penalties.
  11. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am rather torn on this. Is this behavior something new for him or something he does regularly? Part of me thinks that making it only one game is the way to go for a disabled kid like many difficult children, but the entire league and the parents WILL end up knowing about his disability because they will wonder why their kids are not allowed back and difficult child is. The league will have to have some answer.

    Part of me wonders if this will turn out to be something that while hard, will teach him to never do that again. WHile no one got hurt this time, there is a huge potential for someone to get hurt if bats and helmets are thrown. How could you prove that he purposely aimed where there were no people and that this would not change? How can you be sure that this punishment won't end up turning things around and ensuring that he won't ever do it again?

    I know he was hurt and upset that he couldn't play the other games, but sometimes things like this actually DO teach our kids important lessons. Even when we don't think the consequence is appropriate.

    I actually DO think they can be forced to follow ADA but it might take a lawsuit and more of difficult child's personal business being spread through the community than he or you might want. I am not saying that this was the right punishment, only that sometimes harshness really does get through to our difficult children that they cannot do something. Many groups will tell you that ADA doesn't apply when really they don't have a clue and hope you will go away and not bother them. It takes a lawsuit and a bunch of $$ often to convince them of their error.

    Again, I am NOT saying you are wrong to push for his rights, or that they were right to throw him for the tournament. Not knowing his disability, they probably cannot be held responsible for complying to ADA. If you didn't disclose this before the tournament, you probably are otu of luck this time. NExt time, if you have disclosed, they may have to accommodate. But thy could still refuse and this would mean that you would have to sue them.

    I do know that since Special Olympics exists, many groups CAN say that if your child requires special treatment then they need to be in special olympics teams and NOT regular teams.

    Be aware that as he gets older, this rule iwll only be enforced more stringently (the no throwing bats/helmets/equipment) and in many areas the 2nd or 3rd time you throw a bat you get thrown out for the season. Depends on the league, of course, but a friend of ours had her teen thrown out for a season for doing this. Of course it wasn't just one time of throwing bats and he did throw them toward people.

    The reason I say that this might be something that sticks is bc it took a 'punishment' from someone else for Wiz to turn a major corner. For him it was a fist in his face from an older kid in a therapy group bc the kid was angry that Wiz kept insisting that J deserved to be strangled to death that ended up helping him. But the staff of the psychiatric hospital was not happy I wouldn't press charges - and Wiz was stunned because he thought I would ALWAYS protect him no matter what.

    I truly don't mean to sound unsympathetic or to say you shouldn't fight for his rights.
  12. helpangel

    helpangel Active Member

    If they had ejected him for the entire season, I would file an appeal to get some consideration but just a weekend I would consider it a learning experience. Anybody who ever sat in one of my kids IEP meetings knows I'm the accommodation queen, I can see now that in Angel's case I accommodated her right out of an education.

    It was a harsh wake up call when she got arrested in December and spent the night in adult jail charged as an adult. It didn't matter I was begging psychiatrist to check her lithium levels two weeks before, didn't matter that she missed her first court date because she was in a psychiatric hospital on a 72 hr psychiatric hold. She got the exact same punishment that everyone else who shoplifts gets. A years probation and over $1000 in court costs.

    I know your kid is only 12 not much chance of being charged as an adult but kids need accommodations not an excuse to act in an unacceptable manner. Maybe by spending a weekend out it might save a kid getting hit by a thrown bat in the future, at least it sends a message throwing equipment unacceptable. I just know Angel learning she has to obey the law and mom wasn't going to go serve her jail time for her sure helped straightened her up.
  13. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I'm signing Q up for special olympics....but it is only for kids who have cognitive disabilities. (or related, like autism/with cognitive involvement)
    A dr has to certify that there is cognitive delay or adaptive scales that show delay.....

    It specifically says if they are only physically or sensory or learning disabled, they can't join. Not sure of your situation but that is what I was doing today so thought I'd share. I think you can call to find out though. Point is, if they say that, they can be told that only certain disabilities are covered under special olympics.
  14. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    This is a state/province by state/province issue. In our state, as long as your child (1) has a disability and (2) struggles to participate in regular sports options, they can join! We do have separate sports teams for kids who are wheelchair-users but there is an option for everyone!