Having to let go with love

[Heartbroken mom]

Thank you...he is in shelter...I feel the sadness and guilt but remember that's not the whole picture
Feeling the support of others is so helpful...it is a hard kind of grief
Thank you again

 

[wisernow]

i agree with all of the posts and all of the insights. All I know is when I finally succumbed to the universe and a higher power to let it take things over for a while, did things start to change for the positive for both myself and my son. I was so broken, and my trying to fix everything just made it worse for my son. Detaching with love is so very very hard but know that you are doing it to help yourself and to help him. He may not see it right now. But he will and he will find his path, in his way, on his time line. Through all of this heart ache the lesson I learned is that I have absolutely no control, nor a right to control anyone's life but my own. And that is what I am focused on now. Hugs to you!

 

[Heartbroken mom]

Thank you...it is a balancing act..but your right can't control another
He is taking smalll steps...I am finding my way out of heartbreak and staying strong for both of us..thank you again

 

[Littleboylost]

HBM, you and I and many others here have suffered much loss on top of dealing with loved ones off the rails. It seems a test from the universe at times, just to get through the day to day stuff with everything else on our hearts and minds. When the weight of it gets overbearing, I turn to my higher power and ask for help. That is what has saved me time and again. I don’t know what is worse, knowing what’s going on with our beloveds, or not knowing. I just feel that each one of us has a purpose in this life and some come to realize that before others. We all have our challenges, setbacks and triumphs. Life is hard but there is still much beauty to be found in the simple things. Thank you for sharing your story and for standing strong despite everything you have faced. It is a most difficult thing to see our loved ones struggling to find their way, I am hoping that they will learn to aim higher to create a better future for themselves.
Maybe one day, they will understand and appreciate that we stepped back, so they could step up.
Love and peace to you!!!!
(((Hugs)))
Leafy

Stepping back so they can step up; so well said Leafy. It is what we must do.

 

[Heartbroken mom]

Update
Son in shelter
He has found a job....
Still asking for money and using guilt tripping on me but has made strides
This detaching is so hard but seeing some results
Still struggle with wanting to fix but seeing he is actually taking steps to solve his problems himself...he's not happy about it but at least he is moving slowly forward
I really understand the difficulty but I am trying to focus on my self
My husband recently died so I have enough grief with that ..this grief of having a homeless son...makes things more complicated

I am learning not to talk about it to others as they can't understand

Time for some pat answers instead of telling the real story can't take others reactions...it's hard enough

 

[Triedntrue]

It is really hard. I am glad he has found a shelter and a job. Hope things continue to go well. I am sorry about the loss of your husband.