Hi All, I've been off the boards for a while since I thought things were going better. My 19-year-old difficult child quit his job in September (someone "disrespected" him), and has not worked since. He had a pending court case for misdemeanor speeding that was continued several times, but he was finally given a sentence of 150 hours of community service and a $500 fine plus traffic school. This is all due in June and then it will be final. We (husband and I) didn't push him to get a job while the court case was pending since his court-appointed attorney said she thought he might get jail time and he didn't want to start a job with that over his head. Oh yes, I forgot to mention that he and his girlfriend of six months got married at the courthouse two months ago! (both age 19) They're living in son's bedroom in our house. She works full time and is a lovely, nice young lady who also gets frustrated with our son's behavior. Since the court case has been dragging on and on, he's been getting lazier and more entitled. I realize we didn't help the situation by allowing him to be idle like that, but now we're really getting ticked off and need to set boundaries that should have been set long ago. I mention pretty much every day that he needs to get a job, and he tells me to stop repeating myself. He has many reasons not to work: That company is lame, they don't pay enough, it's too far away, I'm not qualified for that, etc. We tell him that he's old enough to be married, he's old enough to get a job and take care of himself and his wife. But between the room and board and mooching off his wife, he doesn't seem to care. He just lowers his expectations to meet whatever he can get from other people. I sent him a bunch of links to places that are hiring, and he shoots each one down. There's a grocery store down the street with a Help Wanted sign on the door for a utility clerk, but he doesn't want to work at a grocery store. We're just an average family, not rich by any means, and I don't know where he got the idea that he doesn't need to work for a living. I know he has some social anxiety, but I think a lot of people just suck it up and get over it. I should mention that his wife is paying us rent from her checks. She's trying, but he's not. Last night was ugly. He had locked his wife out of their room because he was mad at her for wanting to go bowling with her friends. She wanted to get her car keys and wallet so she could go to the store, and he refused to open the door. My husband went back to talk to him, and they got in a shouting match and my husband said he wanted him out of the house and we need to stop enabling him. He's been going to therapy and said that's what his therapist recommended. Here's where I step in as the weak link since I didn't want to kick him and his wife out. She's such a sweet young woman, and I really don't want her to be in that situation because of him. He finally calmed down after my husband threatened to call the police. He had been shouting, cursing, and throwing things. Another thing that is getting old is his demanding and critical nature. Almost every day he calls me at work and says, "I'm bored and there's literally nothing to eat in the house." Then he asks if he can buy fast food or delivery. He argued with me the other day when he wanted to buy a pizza and I said "no," and he wanted to know why it was OK for me and his dad to buy pizza (which we had the night before) but I wouldn't let him get one. I told him he could buy any food he wanted when he got a job, but in the meantime he could eat what we have on hand at home. There's plenty of food in the freezer, fridge and cupboards, but it's not what he wants. He texted me that "all the food at home is garbage" and said that's why we ordered our own pizza. My husband and I talked about the situation and agreed that we need to set some boundaries with him. The stress of interacting with him is getting to us, and his overall attitude is just so arrogant and rude. He can be helpful and nice when he wants to be, but the rude part seems to overshadow this part. And the laziness is just pretty unbelievable. We want to give him a deadline to get a job, but I don't know how to enforce this. I'm guessing he'll just blow off anything we say and think we're not going to follow through, which has been the pattern in the past. I realize it will take them a while to save up enough money to move even after he gets a job, and we don't mind them being here if progress is being made and he's not yelling at people and being unpleasant. But enough is enough. Although we've managed to get our other difficult son to move out, this one is harder for me somehow because he's my youngest and we've been very close in the past. I think he doesn't see himself as a capable adult and I'm having trouble with it also. I know a lot of you have been successful with setting boundaries, and I'd welcome any suggestions or maybe I just needed to vent. I'd like to offer some concrete requests beyond "you need to get a job."