He skipped school, and THEN he ...

[TerryJ2]

called 900 #s to take "Surveys" to get points for his online games. Ea call was 1-min/$14.95 and $15.95. So far, the bill is $179 and it cuts off on the 17th. I'm too tired to go online to see what he did after the billing cycle cut off.
He said he had no idea that surveys cost money, and he thought the points were free.
OMG, I am so tired. This computer koi is insidious.
He is in tears now, in his bedroom. I took the hard drive, keyboard, mouse, etc and of course, hurt my back (I was p*ssed, and husband was just staring at the bill, openmouthed while I flew through the house like the Tasmanian Devil) and I'm too tired to think.
Oh, yes, I gave difficult child the computer back last night because he was all caught up with-his core classes at school and did a bazillion chores around the house. So this a.m. he made ANOTHER 900# "survey" call.
When will it ever end?
At this rate, it would be cheaper to send him to a therapeutic boarding school.

 

[keista]

Unbelievable! I'm so sorry. Hopefully NOW he knows that 900 is not the same as 800?

 

[HaoZi]

Call the phone company and get a long distance and 900-type block on the phones, every phone, landline and cell. Much cheaper than the calls themselves. Have you figured out how to block his access to the game sites? A good parental program that blocks sites by more general means than on a site by site basis.

 

[buddy]

Oh my my my.... Reminds me of when difficult child ordered 4 $200 cameras from HSN through our cable. He said it was the deal of the day and the button said click ok if you wanted it. Go through that, put parent controls on the channel and then new channels got added and it was on another channel too so he found it again. I got a green sequin sweater not my size in the mail. Once I got a smart phone, I got alerted to about 8 jewelry orders....power had gone out and screwed up teh controls I now have asked them to close the account (they were supposed to before but didn't) and the only orders that can come from our number or using my credit card ahve to go through customer service, not the sales line. I tried to order something and they acted like my card was stolen until I said, look at the notes.....I am the one who put the flag on the card. so dumb. All this because difficult child can't follow my directions, he followed the ones on TV. He said he thougt I'd like the jewelry for a present. In past he has seen phone numbers on tv and called them. I received a bunch of catalogs for car parts and got tons of calls from sales people due to his calling them. This is why I am afraid to get him a phone (plus he will go thru my contacts and call everyone over and over). It all made sense to him.

Sorry, it is maddening. I always think...really? again? We went through all of this already, why????

 

[TerryJ2]

Heh. I'm getting slap-happy, imagining getting a green sequin sweater in the mail and difficult child saying, "I didn't know it was real--I thought I was getting a virtual sweater for a character in one of my games!"

Yeah, the minute we block all the 1-900 calls, he'll find something else. I have no idea how to keep up with-him, other than to just not allow him to use the computer. Period. But when he was little (4 or 5) and I grounded him off of TV games/PS2 etc, he disappeared and I'd find him hrs later at a friend's house, and sometimes, near-strangers' houses using THEIR computer games. He didn't even care if the kids were home. He is unstoppable.
Our therapist said there is an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) thing or camp where you can send kids like this to break their addiction. He said it takes months. Sigh.

 

[TeDo]

Wow. I think I'd be tempted to send him to one of those. It HAS to be cheaper than his newest obsession. Sending support your way.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Our therapist said there is an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) thing or camp where you can send kids like this to break their addiction. He said it takes months. Sigh.

Yes, it is an addiction. Similar to gambling. There is an adrenalin high that goes with it... probably other hormones too. But its artificially generated, the games actually impact brain chemistry. Result is, they have to keep pushing further and harder, to get the same "high".

 

[buddy]

Heh. I'm getting slap-happy, imagining getting a green sequin sweater in the mail and difficult child saying, "I didn't know it was real--I thought I was getting a virtual sweater for a character in one of my games!"

Oh, it was LOVELY... and for real people or cyber people it would look beautiful! large circle sequins... and bright green (I love green but this was ummmm...)

 

[DaisyFace]

Terry--

I'm just speechless!

Is there any way that the two of you could change your schedules to ensure that he CANNOT skip school and CANNOT spend any time home alone?

 

[TerryJ2]

Uh, yeah, it's called "not going to Myrtle Beach." ahahaahahahaha!

 

[HaoZi]

Sometimes an implanted tracking & tranqing device seems less Big Brother and more of a necessity. Ug. doctor got any other ideas? I know there's been some experimenting with medications for addictions, but with kids like ours that react oddly to even normal medications, I'd be hesitant on that front, too.

 

[buddy]

Sometimes an implanted tracking & tranqing device seems less Big Brother and more of a necessity. Ug. doctor got any other ideas? I know there's been some experimenting with medications for addictions, but with kids like ours that react oddly to even normal medications, I'd be hesitant on that front, too.

Well, I have fantasized about things... makes me feel better...maybe for you... in this case.....hmmm..... a mouse/keyboard that gives a non-lethal zap??? somehow make addresses for websites redirect to blues clues site???

no fair missing myrtle beach (you mean you miss it or he does?)

 

[TerryJ2]

Oh, I would miss Myrtle Beach. The board meetup with-DaisyFace and Janet. Sigh. That's when all of this happened, for the most part. But I just got the bill.
Now I have to check our acct online to find out the *rest* of the story.
I like the zapping keyboard idea.
My little sister and I used to dare one another to touch the shorted-out record player turntable, and see how long we could stand it. Sickos. My parents found out and since it was a cheap player, and no one was expert at repairing wiring, they threw it out. Anyhoo, the point is, maybe I could create a short somehow. But maybe that's not safe. No, I'm not talking about difficult child's safety, lol--I'm thinking about burning the house down. That kind of safe.
He has been reduced to watching the original Conan the Barbarian (omg, what lousy acting) and doing the math to figure out how long it will take him to pay us back. I haven't told him that I've only read the billing statement up to the 3rd wk in October...

 

[buddy]

ok yeah, then that stinks, you missed out, boo hoo....

Oh, I would procrastinate on looking at that statement, but I would know I had to do it...yuck, stomach in knots over those moments...been there done that!

At least this last time since it came straight to the smart phone (all debit/credit activity goes thru) then I knew something was up adn could cancel the order that day! never lost any money or had any overdraft fees that time. just awful.


HAHA Conan! Dont you wish he could earn real money? yikes, really stinks that even though he is "paying you back" it is all out of your funds. My nephew just accidently broke a church window. He threw his shoe and it went wild...he is now missing school days off and working with the janitor, but my sister still has to replace the window. big picture window, yuck.

 

[TerryJ2]

Yes, working to earn it back.
Great idea. Now, to get him to actually do the work.
Alas, he is no Conan.

 

[TerryJ2]

Aaaarrggh! I hate Verizon! I was only hold on my cellph last night for 15 min, and again this a.m. for 10 min.
I tried doing the 900# thing online and it wouldn't let me (sent me to new pps, wanted me to click on my cell ph instead of home ph, ads popping up).
I have a headache. I'm going back to bed and going to ice my neck.

 

[DammitJanet]

You are going to have to get tough on this one. Im sorry. I really am. I went through something really similar when Cory was 12 and it was very hard.

Number one you have to get rid of that desktop computer completely. Its over with until he can control this completely and I dont see that happening in the near future.

Next you have to talk to your bank about the funds. If they were charged against a credit or debit card you can dispute the charges and it might get you somewhere but be prepared that they might want you to charge your son with illegally using your account. That might be for the best because he hasnt listened to you before and I dont see him doing it anymore just because he is upset now.

Third, you need to talk to your landline carrier and tell them you want everything blocked so that you cannot even call 0 for the operator from your phone without a password. I had to do that with my house phone. Took me 3 months to get everything blocked but between me and Bellsouth we got my line so blocked I was fool proof. I couldnt call anything but a local number. No operator, no 800 numbers, no 900 numbers, nothing. You would be surprised how easy it is to get a long distance call out if you are clever. I even took my phone with me to work and Cory managed to get phone calls out. He borrowed neighbors phones. Your son could just get a cheap hard drive and keyboard and get online. who needs a mouse these days?

Either take his cell phone or lock those parental controls down so fast that he cant do anything more than call local numbers. I vote on taking the cell though. Too much risk. I had a cell phone that I could go in and set the numbers that couldnt be called but I have no idea if you can do that. 900 numbers are way too big a risk. He has shown he isnt to be trusted.

Im sorry. This just brings back nightmares.

 

[TerryJ2]

Sorry about the nightmares, Janet. I went back to bed and in my dreams, I came up with-the idea for an entire novel--begininng, middle, end, and very, very detailed. I am exhausted.
husband and I were supposed to talk today about difficult child ... I slept, husband watched TV, we went to the gym, had dinner, and he's watching a movie again. I've got to go get husband off the couch so we can talk. Ugh.

 

[buddy]

Hope it goes well. {{{hugs}}}