B
bigbear11
Guest
I have been "lurking" on the site for a few weeks and thought I would reach out. My husband and I are at wits end on what to do with our little girl. So I would appreciate any insights or suggestions on what may have worked for any of you.
We adopted our difficult child from Russia when she was 14mos...she is now 7. She is smart and sweet but delayed socially and verbally. While we have no official records, I am sure there are some Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE) from her birth mother. She is very ADHD and has tried numerous stimulants all with horrible rebound. Only thing that works for her is Strattera. She sees a Child psychiatric that has diagnosed with ADHD, PTSD and Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED)(Interm explosive disorder). Has tried Lamictal and is currently on Abilify 5mg.
Our biggest issue and where we need the help is around her rages and how to handle them. I must admit when she was younger we did spank (what worked for both of us when we were little) but realize that now that does not work for her and has probably just made her physical agression worse. We have read the Explosive child book and are trying the CPS. However, she is getting violent and agressive with us. Lots of hitting, biting, pulling hair out, spitting, etc. We are not spanking and being physical with her (except to try to pry her mounth off of our arm, push her away, etc...gently as possible). We can't walk away from her...she just follows. She would really hurt us if we didn't do something... Any ideas on what do do and how to handle this. She has always been able to blow up when frustrated but the physical and destructive side of this is really excalating. Part of me thinks that if we can just ignore, show no emotion, make her clean up/repair the next day that this will pass and we can deal with just the frustration thru CPS. However, that being said... nothing we have tried (rewarding the great days, taking toys away for the rages, physically hauling up to her room) has worked for the agression. She definately likes to push buttons and does different things to me than to my husband based off of the reaction that we give her. But not reacting to that type of behavior is just about more than I can manage.
We did move to a different state with my job last year and things really excalated from there (but had certainly been issues before). In so many ways we are lucky because in between rages (which may last 2 hrs once a wk or so) she is a wonderful, sweet, funny and well mannered child.
I would really appreciate any ideas on what may have worked for any of you to manage the physical agression during rages. Thanks!
We adopted our difficult child from Russia when she was 14mos...she is now 7. She is smart and sweet but delayed socially and verbally. While we have no official records, I am sure there are some Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE) from her birth mother. She is very ADHD and has tried numerous stimulants all with horrible rebound. Only thing that works for her is Strattera. She sees a Child psychiatric that has diagnosed with ADHD, PTSD and Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED)(Interm explosive disorder). Has tried Lamictal and is currently on Abilify 5mg.
Our biggest issue and where we need the help is around her rages and how to handle them. I must admit when she was younger we did spank (what worked for both of us when we were little) but realize that now that does not work for her and has probably just made her physical agression worse. We have read the Explosive child book and are trying the CPS. However, she is getting violent and agressive with us. Lots of hitting, biting, pulling hair out, spitting, etc. We are not spanking and being physical with her (except to try to pry her mounth off of our arm, push her away, etc...gently as possible). We can't walk away from her...she just follows. She would really hurt us if we didn't do something... Any ideas on what do do and how to handle this. She has always been able to blow up when frustrated but the physical and destructive side of this is really excalating. Part of me thinks that if we can just ignore, show no emotion, make her clean up/repair the next day that this will pass and we can deal with just the frustration thru CPS. However, that being said... nothing we have tried (rewarding the great days, taking toys away for the rages, physically hauling up to her room) has worked for the agression. She definately likes to push buttons and does different things to me than to my husband based off of the reaction that we give her. But not reacting to that type of behavior is just about more than I can manage.
We did move to a different state with my job last year and things really excalated from there (but had certainly been issues before). In so many ways we are lucky because in between rages (which may last 2 hrs once a wk or so) she is a wonderful, sweet, funny and well mannered child.
I would really appreciate any ideas on what may have worked for any of you to manage the physical agression during rages. Thanks!