Help--I dont know what to do...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by mog, Mar 8, 2011.

  1. mog

    mog Member

    Sorry that I haven't posted. I sat down one night and wrote out a long update then my computer crashed and I didn't want to type it again.difficult child came home after his reintergration failed. The judge ordered him to do a 15 day commitment with time served and then he got out. My husband went and picked him up and he didn't come home. 3 days later he told us to meet him at Chiles for dinner and he didn't show up. When we got home he was here moving all of his stuff into a truck. He was gone for about a week then called and asked if he could come home. I said yes of course. We told him that he is 18 so he will have more previledges but he still needs to follow the rules. Well that really isn't working. He got a job and now has a girlfriend. Great I am happy for him but he asks her to come over to the house and he cookds dinner for the two of them--great. Except that he won't clean up the mess. He didn't want to clean his room so he has moved into one of the others and now it is a huge mess. I keep pleading with him to clean up but I am already tires of it. I have told him that if things don't change that he will have to find a new place to live and he keeps promising. He will do good for a day or two then right back to his same behavior. He has had a hard time coming home. He has found that his so called friends are not so much. His best friend from elementary killed himself. He was going to go stay with a different friend but then he was in a car accidnet and died. He really has no where else to go but this is really starting to make me a husband fight. I refuse to clean up the mess but we dont know wha tthe answer is.I have tried to hint that he should start looking into college for the fall so that he can get into the dorms but he says that he is not going to stay here in this state but angain he has no where to go and no one to live with. He tries to give me a guilt trip saying that if he leaves that I will not ever see or hear from him again. husband and I have not been fighting since all the kids were gone and even now all are fights are about one kid or the other. How can I find him a place to live when he really doesn't make that much money and has no transportation. HELP!!!
  2. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Hey mog,

    Wondered what happened to you!

    I think I would post this over in Parents Emeritus - You'll get a very honest and 18+ parents answer about what to do. It's probably why you aren't getting much answer here.

    All the parents with older kids are there and can help better!

    See you there!
  3. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    I don't have any advice, just wanted to show some support. Why don't he and his girlfriend get a place together? Or say something about how you'd appreciate him cleaning up after himself in front of her?