Help me get out of my Bipolar Episode, Please!

[ChristieR]

I am so depressed. I quit my job on monday for no reason other than i kept hearing voices telling me to quit, so I just got up at lunch and never went back. My husband and I arent talking now because I quit. My son is acting up and I dont even want to be bothered with any of my kids right now. I need a vacation but dont have the money to go anywhere. I am having anxiety attacks one after the next and I dont know how to stop them. My anxiety medicine is not working too well. I have noone to vent to because I feel like everyone else has so much on their plate that I cant vent to them. I need help on how to get out of this episode.

 

[Steely]

Do you have a psychiatrist that you can talk this through with? Maybe a medication change is in order?

 

[ChristieR]

Yes, that have upped my abilify but slowly and i havent felt anything yet. Im at wits end.

 

[Hound dog]

Christie

(((hugs)))

You need to call psychiatrist first thing in the morning and tell him/her what is going on, and that your medications aren't working. You need to do this before it escalates. If it continues you can also go to the ER, they'll contact psychiatrist for instructions and there wouldn't be the wait to get in to see psychiatrist.

It's good you are able to recognize the behavior. That in itself can be difficult at times.

If it were me, I tend to avoid making any biggish decisions in that state. Is there any grandparent who might take difficult child off your hands for a while this weekend? Sounds like you can use a break.

Hugs

 

[Star*]

Christine,

I'm not BiPolar (BP) so I'm not sure how to help you out of your episode. I sadly do get the voices in my head telling me to do things part. I guess if you aren't BiPolar (BP) and have voices - it's like good voice bad voice - for me that's my conscience speaking. Maybe in people with BiPolar (BP) it's a louder voice - I dunno. Mine talk all the time. I have a hard time making decisions on stuff. It's really annoying, and for lack of better description anal.

For example. Toilet tissue. I have to know all the available brands. Then I want to know how many sheets each roll, how many ply 1 or 2. Then I really need to check to see if it's soft, but since you can't rub toilet tissue on your cheeks in a grocery store without breaking some "code" of sanitation -You either poke a hole in each package to feel the softness or you buy several brands, listen to everyone in your house make comments like "Jeeze Mom do the trees still have bark - no? Beacuse it's all in this toilet tissue." or DF will say "Wiped my backside with a pine limb today because it was softer than the toilet paper you got us." Most times it's "Boy those poop tickets you got us could double as barbed wire at the prison."

And so with comments like that looming in my head, my voices vote and we spend about 30 minutes seeking out the best and softest, while being economical toilet paper. Then the one nagging voice in the back of my brain yells out "IS THAT SAFE FOR THE SEPTIC? YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT IS TO HAVE A POOP SUCKER COME OUT HERE BECAUSE YOU DIDN"T GET THE RIGHT TOILET PAPER?" and so it goes - and there I am like a weirdo in the all night grocery trying to pit value against bark, while being totally septic friendly.

Some voices - I just ignore - because all the time I am in the aisle having the conversations about toilet paper - there is always one little voice singing along with the loudspeaker music, causing me to tap my feet and hum or sing out loud to some version of Peter Framptons 'Do you feel like I do?" and the looks you get in the paper aisle could be likened to seeing zombies in a B rated movie. And don't even get me started on socks - I am fairly certain that I'm a little more 'sensitive' about socks than most people and when I do find ones that I like I buy them in bulk - mostly everything I find that I like I buy in bulk so I won't have to stand in the store for hours picking out stuff. IT'S a pain really.

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time of it. I do think if you are making drastic decisions that impact your home without thinking them through or the ability to think it through - then it's time for a medications tweak. It's also time for a mini vacation - and I don't know how you get that with 3 kids and a husband - but I CAN get you 30 minutes at at time - if you are just willing to commit to being picky about your toilet paper.

Hugs
Star

 

[DammitJanet]

As you can see in my signature I have bipolar and a great deal of anxiety. I also get into periods just like you describe. I get irritable, snappish and want nothing more than to hibernate in my room. If it gets too bad then I call in for a medication tweak. Right now I am under a great deal of stress and its starting to play havoc on me. My therapist is watching me like a hawk.

I dont know how I would be handling things if I didnt have a great therapist to talk to weekly. She even takes my calls at night and on weekends if there is something bad going on. I try never to abuse that privilege.

I hope you have access to a therapist. If not maybe find one because that can be a great place to vent and get help.

 

[ChristieR]

I do have a therapist but she doesnt have anything open until my next appointment, next week.
My Pdr. just tweeked my medications last week but it doesnt seem to be doing much yet. I was on 15 of abilify and she told me to do 20 for one week, 25 for another week and the 30 finally after that. Im still working on the 20mg, should I just wait it out?
Im just so sad and depressed that Im out of it.
Is there anythin that you can do to get through it? Ive tried reading but that gets old about one page into a book. Im so antsy. I cant sit still but I dont want to do anything either.

 

[Lothlorien]

I don't think the Abilify is going to help what your going through, right now. You need to call the psychiatrist and explain what's going on. Have you always heard voices or is this a new symptom? You are on a LOT of medications. This could be the cause of some of your symptoms.

 

[ChristieR]

Doesnt the abilify get my moods under control? They are going to ween me off of the lithium after i hit the max dosage of the abilify. I just dont know what to do until then, I dont want to call my pdr because i just saw her last week and she just tweeked my medications. Im so confused

 

[nvts]

STOP! Loth put it best: you are on a lot of medication and this could be fueling the situation as well.

Never think that just because the psychiatrist just started changing the medications, that you can't call. Let him/her know that you are feeling this way and that you're getting scared.

Seriously, you need to take care of you ~ don't worry about calling the psychiatrist. I'd be crawling out of my skin feeling the way you are right now.

Call.

Call.




Call.


Let us know what he says!

Beth

 

[Lothlorien]

I may be wrong here, but I was under the impression that the Abilify is for keeping the manic episodes to a minimum, not an anti-depressant. The combination of the lithium and the Abilify may be causing adverse effects....you may need to ween off the lithium at the same time that you are increasing the Abilify.

Then, on top of that, you are taking two seperate anti-depressants (and Xanax for anxiety), also which could be causing a collision between the two medications, causing your body to go way off course.

Call your psychiatrist as soon as possible. If you can't get him, today, and you are still experiencing these symptoms, then you may want to check yourself into the hospital to get your medications under control in a controlled setting so you don't harm yourself or anyone else.

 

[busywend]

I agree with calling your psychiatrist. It can not hurt, that is for sure.

Do you have any things that you do that have worked in the past? I am not BiPolar (BP), but I do have episodes of what I call going into a 'funk'. I am not comparing that you what you go through at all. But, what helps me is to do some self talk, find something that brings me peace (unfortunately at times that is food) and try to force myself to get some exercise in. I need to get moving. It might be helpful to get a list going of things that are helpful or that have been helpful in the past.

Be good to yourself. Don't let anyone take you down or force you into anything you know you can not or should not do right now.

Keep checking in here.

 

[ChristieR]

I just want to feel better,,,,, I will call her and see what she says. I think I will do some house cleaning today and see if that helps get me out of it a little. Any other sugestions?

 

[DammitJanet]

They are now touting Abilify to control Bipolar Mania. It should also help with the voices. I dont take it but then I dont like the anti-psychotics for myself.

It could be that Abilify is the wrong choice for you. It could also be that the AD's are messing with you. I cant take any of them. But for me they send me into mania not depression.

I also tend towards the depressive end of bipolar with bouts of hypomania at times though I have had true manic periods occasionally.

Your list of medications didnt seem long to me but then I am on a boatload too. If the lithium/abilify combo isnt cutting it and you tend more towards depression I would maybe ask the psychiatrist about Lamictal. I take Lamictal and zonogran but Im not sure how well I like the zonogran. I might switch back to my topamax. I also have klonopin for anxiety and ambien for sleep. I could never take remeron and found out the hard way that trazadone was amping me up.

Call the psychiatrist. Thats what he is there for.

 

[ChristieR]

I am hoping that the Abilify is right for me. Im so sick of changes, Why cant you take remeron?

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

Sweetie,

I remember talking to you on the general board. I am so sorry that you are hurting. Here are some big hugs, and let you cry on my shoulder if you need it.

I agree that you need to talk to your psychiatrist. It is very obvious that you are in a deep depression, when you say things like "I am sick of changes". I know, it is such a pain, but if you were in a better place, that would not bother you nearly as much.

Please go to the ER if you are not feeling better soon. Please please please. As I said before, we are all here for you, but none of us are professionals. You may need more help than we are able to give.

 

[Steely]

I don't have any advice for getting out of that serious of a funk, sorry. I wish I did. Sometimes I get them myself, and I literally cannot even get off the couch. Over the years there is not one thing I have tried that has helped except a couple of days time.

Just some personal thoughts on your medications.
Xanax, can cause depression as a side effect.
Abilify, made my son manic. Every person is different. Just because one medication is supposed to do something, does not mean it will.
It is also an Anti-Psychotic which means it can calm the moods, but it is different than Lithium that is an actual mood stabilizer.
Lithium, is a mood stabilizer that evens out the gaps and cycling between depression and mania. It has worked wonders for my son, but there are many other mood stabilizers that work wonders. Depakote, Tegretol, Topomax, Trileptal, etc.

I really would call your psychiatrist every day if you have to until you get the medication combo right. Maybe a check in a phosph for a week to help is warranted as well.

Many hugs.

 

[ChristieR]

I just talked to the psychiatrist and they said to go ahead and up my abilify from 20 to 25 then in a week go to 30 mg. Thats all she did to my medications. Would this even out my mood any?

 

[Steely]

It possibly could, you will probably have to wait and see. I would suggest keeping a daily journal and listing how you feel each day in a list, so you can compare the ups and downs of your moods with the medication changes. Glad you called your psychiatrist. Never hesitate to call them, as many times as you need. That is what they are there for. If they get annoyed, then they are the wrong psychiatrist.

 

[ChristieR]

Thank you for the advice. I will start keeping a journal. I wish medications or someone could take it all away.