help please

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by aherrera, Jan 24, 2012.

  1. aherrera

    aherrera New Member

    I dont know what to do with my 5yr old hes acting out in school they just flat out told me that he cant go back and find somewhere else to take him. I mean hes been diagnosed with adhd since august and his medication isnt really working. Hes been through alot my x left twice already n he is having a ruff time dealing with it he hits his 3 yr old sister when she makes fun of him about their dad having a girlfriend and not caring about them anymore. I mean he dont make an effort to call the kids or anything and I don't know what to do anymore i mean i gotta find another school, hes constantly fighting telling everyone no and well just dont care for any figures of authority besides my x. Can anyone help me please???
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi there. Welcome to the board, although sorry you had to come.

    Can you please give us a little more information on your family and your son? Did he have normal development up until now? Was he always difficult? Did he talk, walk, do everything on time? Are there any psychiatric or drug abuse problems on either side of his family tree (this includes ex). Some things are inherited. Did he suffer any abuse or watch his dad hit you or get violent?

    Any extra info w ill help us be as supportive and helpful to you as we know how.
  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I want to welcome you to our little corner of the world. You have found a GREAT place for help and support.

    Sorry I have to ask some questions too. It's not that we're nosy but do need more information so we don't steer you in the wrong direction.

    What medication(s) is he on? Is he in preschool or kindergarten? Is it a private or public school? We can help more with the school stuff if we know the answers to MidwestMom's and my questions. Others might have even more questions for you but this will give us an idea of exactly where you're at and where you can go from here. If you bear with us, I think you will find what you are looking for.
  4. aherrera

    aherrera New Member

    He had a normal developement growing up hes smarter than everyone in his class. He was on time and early on some milestones growing up.the ex hes missing isnt his biological father its his step dad he raised him since he was 7months but on biological fathers side there is adhd add and they have really bad drug problems and they are very suicidal. And there has never been any kinda violence like that around him.
  5. aherrera

    aherrera New Member

    Hes in pre-k and he is in public school hes is on ritalin 20mg once a day right now.
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Ok. Here's my opinion.

    I would call up his biological family (try to find the nicest one you can). The more you can find about his birthfather's family's biological history, the more you can tell his doctors, and his biology is very significant. Sounds like there are a lot of mental health issues in his family tree. Whether or not he was around it, he could still inherit the tendencies they have through his DNA, even if he never know his birthfather. Suicide is serious and indicates there may be some bad depression or maybe bipolar in the family tree. Mood disorders are a very common reason for drug is used sometimes as self-medication.

    in my opinion he should see a neuropsychologist to dig more deeply into what may be wrong. Obviously something is and, as hard as it is, you need to find out what is going on in order to help him, and to make your life and the life of your other child more peaceful.

    Keep us posted. Others should come along.
  7. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Are you in the USA? Is he is a public school?

    If those two things are yes, you need to write a letter and ask for an evaluation for special education services. Part of school, especially in K as every cute saying will tell you... is development of social skills. If he is not doing well socially he is as affected by his disability as if it affects his academic achievements (which by they way is likely to be coming but he is only in K now... so unless he gets support, he could end up in a world of hurt).

    Say you want a complete evaluation for special education services including an FBA (functional behavior analysis) [this looks at the behaviors and what is driving them, then from that they write a positive behavior plan to use to help develop skills and more appropriate behaviors]. Send this letter to the principal and special education department of your district by CERTIFIED mail, return receipt requested. You must do that. Then they will be on a federal (and the state may make it even shorter) time line to do the assessment. If they refuse in writing you will then have appeal options. But all of this puts them on a clock and forces them to not be able to permanently kick your child out until all results are in, and all options have been discussed.

    In the mean time also pursue the private neuropsychologist evaluation.

    I wonder if his adhd medications are not working, then they could also be causing more issues. Do you give him the medications on weekends? is he improved when off them?

    He may need different medications in that category, a different category of medications and/or a combination of medications.

    Sorry you are going through this... and really sorry for him. It can't feel good to have people angry at you all the time and with his emotional history he probably already has some pretty big self esteem and worry issues.... Keep up the good fight!
  8. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    As Buddy said, put a request IN WRITING stating that you want him to "be evaluated for possible special education services including but not limited to academic, psychological, behavioral, speech-language, and occupational therapy evaluations". Send it CERTIFIED MAIL with RETURN RECEIPT REQUESTED to the Superintendent AND the Director of Special Education Services as soon as you can. If you are in the U.S. and he's attending a public pre-school, there is no reason they can't do the evaluations. As Buddy also said, if they won't, you have rights to appeal and more than likely win.

    As for the medications, you definitely need to have that looked in to. Wrong medications and/or wrong dosages CAN make things worse. My son, for instance, cannot take stimulants for his ADHD. They make him VERY aggressive and more hyper.

    Definitely find a pediatric neuropsychologist, as MWM said. They are VERY thorough and look at more than just the behavior itself. They analyze it and try to determine WHY. That is what you need to know. The good ones can have waiting lists but ours was worth the wait, and then some.

    Keep looking for answers. He's suffering as much as you are if not more. You should read the book The Explosive Child by Dr. Ross Greene as well as What Your Explosive Child Is Trying To Tell You by Dr. Douglas Riley. Both offer a LOT of insight into our kids' behaviors and how to effectively deal with it. Hang in there. We'll get you through this if you let us.
  9. soapbox

    soapbox Member

    It is not uncommon for a kid with ADHD to be ADHD plus other stuff.
    It is also not uncommon for a kid who is given the ADHD diagnosis when very young, to be just plain something else.

    Either way... comprehensive evaluation will pick up most of it.

    Typically done by separate professionals, are:
    1) Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation - sensory, and motor skills. Get both tested. Either one can cause major problems, not uncommon to have some level of both.

    2) Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) - auditory screening, basic tests - too young and/or ADHD not controlled, they can't do testing for things like auditory figure ground - that may have to come later. But be aware of it. If the kid can't "listen" through the background noise, the classroom environment may be driving him insane.

    Half the kids with ADHD, have Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD) (developmental coordination disorder, a motor-skills issue)
    High co-morbidity between ADHD and LDs"
    And if you have ADHD plus a Learning Disability (LD), there's a 70% chance you also have an Auditory Processing Disorders (APD).

    SO... chances of "just" ADHD = slim.
    Not "none" = daughter is one of those... ADHD inattentive, needs medications, not much else!

    Beyond that... there may also be attachment issues - insecure attachment, specifically.
    This would be "in addition to" things like ADHD... but can certainly magnify problems.

    Medically/physically - how is his sleep?