here we go again..........

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jena, Dec 17, 2010.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member

    so, i've watched difficult child slowly cut down food yet again......... easy child has found spit up food in bathroom sinks and toilet bowls and clued me in. licked pretzels and chips around house and other foods she's licking.

    today for example she had two spoonfulls of farina, and half a slice of pizza. that's it.

    we began refeeding therapist again last week. which she feels its' difficult child other issues and really needs a super strong therapist and i think this new woman we started with will be able to help her she's really aggressive. yet insurance co. is fighting giving us approval so ex h is working with them and fighting it.

    we're exploring diff medications didnt' start risperdal because side effect is anxiety, psychdoc missed that and dont' wanna chance it.

    there's more going on in that head of her's, refeeding woman thinks i'Tourette's Syndrome her bipolar junk getting in the way of it now. who knows won't begin to guess.

    attention has also shifted since the restart of food entering her mouth, and difficult child is always desperate for any attention at all. so who really knows what's up with her. other than beginning again on solutions. yet a bit wiser this time and calmer than first round.

    sad though....... thought she was on her way, had mtg set up as per difficult child's request to meet with-school monday about slow transition back since she's been doing so well with tutors. she fights tooth and nail for them to come yet once they do she's compliant and has been acing every single test.

    who knows mix of it all fear of school even though wants to go back, etc. a professional has to deal with-her not me.
  2. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    It could be that now that you are focusing on easy child and her problems with depression she feel like she needs to regress in order to get all of your attention. She is used to that now. She is home with you 24/7 and for the last few days so has easy child. There is someone else in the house that she has to share you with. That was my first thought, anyway.

    As for the school meeting, I would lay it out to her that if she really wants to go back she must eat. Otherwise she will have tutors come to the house because she is not well enough to go. Put it on her and see what she does. Do you think that she really does want to go back, or she saying this because she knows it will draw attention to herself?

    I'm not sure what the answer it. Obviously there is something going on inside her head that she can't cope with right now. She needs a good therapist to help her though this.

    This is so hard to for you to watch. Hang in there. There is an answer for her out there somewhere and I know you will find it.

  3. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Did this backslide start when you announced plans for you and easy child to go to the spa for the weekend?
  4. Jena

    Jena New Member


    we never told difficult child about the spa thing. no need to share. no it started a few weeks ago prior to easy child's announcement of hey i'm depressed. the only thing i can gather and from what the woman has said to me is that difficult child does have bipolar which is a very up and down kinda thing, shes not stable right now due to not finding a medication to help her with stability, and requires strong therapy almost all the time to stay and maintain her level of stability.

    this is kinda how she rolls, she holds onto everything my child if it makes sense. any new behavior that comes stays. it's how she is. everything goes in lock down mode. gave up trying to piece together the puzzle years ago. i just simplify now if you cut back too much you go into hospital. if you can't eat no school. if you dont' do this that will happen. i keep it simple behavior followed by consequence or reward for herself. you eat you feel better are healthy, you go to school you have the chance to see if you can make a friend.

    that sort of thing......... the rest is left to professionals. i have to be honest i've removed the drama this time around. first time it was sooo upsetting to watch. now i'm not saying i'm not disheartened i am. yet with-o the drama. make sense?
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Jena...Im not too sure that you arent blaming or excusing all behaviors on the bipolar. I realize that it is quite easy to do me!

    I would love to do it...and I do realize that many things happen to people because we are in manic or depressed states. Trust me, there have been some really bad things I have done while manic. But we cant just say that everything we do or every behavior that happens is because of bipolar.

    Sometimes people are behaving badly just because...well, they are behaving Or they have gotten in the habit of doing something and they dont want to stop this behavior. Cory cussed like a sailor. Still does. Was that bipolar? I dont think so. All the therapists told me not to deal with it because we had bigger fish to fry and it was part and parcel of his "ODD" and his Bipolar and when we got that under control it would go away. Yeah right. It is one of his biggest problems. I wish I had washed his mouth out with soap like I wanted to...and did...from the first time he started. Maybe he wouldnt be cussing all the time now.

    I have no doubt that insomnia is part of your daughters bipolar. Screaming bloody murder in the middle of the night isnt. I have insomnia. Even sometimes with the medications I cant sleep. I dont go screaming through the house waking everyone up. She can learn to be quiet. She can sit in her room, watch TV, read a book, listen to music, do whatever is quiet, but she doesnt have to wake up everyone.

    Of course, this is my opinion. Take it for what its worth from a person with bipolar and a mother who raised a bipolar.
  6. Jena

    Jena New Member

    i appreciate it and your right alot is just her behaving badly. the doctor's all agree it comes from her overwhelming seperation anxiety that she has, hence she goes to bed ALONE in her room and doesn't think she can handle it. Till I tell her she can and leave her to her own devices.

    i'm working on that using seroquel again as a prn, not every night but if i do it every so many nights than it hits her well and helps her calm down.

    the non eating is the new issue at hand, the negative self image that is creeping back (depression) and also the beginning of what looks to be self mutilitation biting herself hitting herself, etc.

    so i'm on phone right now fighting with-insurance co to get this therapist under a single case approval for her. deal was you dont' eat you go back to the hospital after xmas and i have to stick to that agreement. so if i can manage to get the approval get her in there and start work than maybe we'll have a fighting chance.
  7. Jena

    Jena New Member

    and insurance co. denied me, thru "their" doctors. So right away I asked the care advocate in philadelphia to connect me to the "dr" of theirs in California, she did and ofcourse i got a voicemail. Whereas I left a message and saId i will fight and continue to fight until I get what I need for her which is this therapist and now i'm going to start writing letters and starting a paper trail...... so i just said i'm relentless so if i were you i'd give up. :)