Here we go again!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jules71, Sep 5, 2012.

  1. Jules71

    Jules71 Warrior Mom since 2007

    First day of school. The day started out just fine. Now that we are home all heck is breaking loose.... I hate my life.... I hate school.... why do I even have to go to school..... saying mean things to little brother.... swearing.... negativity... etc. Oh gosh...... now husband decided right now would be a good time to try to give him hot sauce for swearing and as I am typing this we are in full meltdown mode. He is screaming and crying and saying he wishes he was never born. God help us all.
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    ((((hugs)))). Full meltdown mode is so hard. Sounds to me like you deserve a calgon sort of night. I hope tomorrow is better!
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    What kind of setting is he in at school? Do you think maybe he is overstimulated there? A lot of our "special" kids have trouble with overstimulation and, of course, it all comes out at home. Does he have an IEP? Is he in a regular classroom with regular expectations? Do you think he is capable, mentally, of handling a regular classroom, if he is in one? Just fishing here...
  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, dear. I hate days like that.

    I hope that this transition smooths over for all of you. He had a majory anxiety/transition issue.

    I agree with-Wiped Out--time for Calgon! And MWM, is he getting help with-an IEP or something?
  5. Jules71

    Jules71 Warrior Mom since 2007

    Thanks everyone. This morning was a little rough too. Not getting ready... running away from me while trying to get him to brush his teeth etc. He is in a regular classroom with pull out for social skills and organizational support. He does have an IEP (since Kinder) but we are at a new school this year. Of course we don't know who his resource/sped teacher is yet and no one will likely visit him right away which I do not get. He has hated going to school since the very beginning of his school career. I wish I knew how to help him be ok with it - we have a long way to go. Just wait until homework starts coming home. It will not be pretty.
  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Sorry you're having such a hard time and difficult child is having an even harder time. Fingers crossed that husband deep dixes the new method....yeah, I know it's hard when you're not on the same page. Hugs DDD
  7. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    I'm having one of those days myself. I have nothing to offer but big hugs and prayers. I hope things calm down for you so you can enjoy the rest of your evening. (((Hugs)))
  8. Jules71

    Jules71 Warrior Mom since 2007

    Thank you DDD and Californiablonde! My day has definitely gotten better. I took my youngest to his orientation for all day Kindergarten today. He made a friend and had a great time so I feel much better about him starting full day tomorrow. And I just love his teacher. It was nice to feel normal for awhile! Lol.

    difficult child is in a bad mood again (still) so I am just giving him his space and not letting it get to me for a change. I really wish he felt better about school. I walked by his classroom today and stood out if sight to observe him for awhile. He looked like he was in total agony! His head was kind of sweaty and he just looked so bothered. I don't know what to do to help him. I don't think its over-stimulation but maybe. I don't know. My husband kind of looks like that and rubs his head when he has to listen to someone talk. Any ideas about this?

    I hope everyone has a great evening!
  9. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    If he looked like he was in agony and he was sweaty, you might want to think about anxiety which would make sense if he is on the spectrum. Have you talked to him to figure out the WHY's? He may not phrase it right and may not even know but it might be worth asking and actually taking his words at face value. If you're still exploring spectrum, it could be a lot of things and this could get you to understand some of his thinking processes.

    Sorry I can't be more help but it's hard to describe how I got to where I know what he's going through because of all the work it took to figure difficult child 1 out when he went through VERY similar stuff.
  10. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I'm probably sounding like a broken record, but... has he been tested for APDs? specifically, auditory figure ground? (in addition to the usual ones)

    The reason I ask is, my difficult child went literally insane at school... until we got the Auditory Processing Disorders (APD)-auditory figure ground diagnosis, and the accommodations and interventions that go with it. It was taking way too much brain power to catch the words - so much that there wasn't brain power left to actually process the message and do something about it. The result is you always end up saying or doing something "dumb" in class, and... boy does that ever ramp up the anxiety.

    Keep in mind that APDs are often co-morbid with ADHD (as are a number of other things, including LDs and Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD) and mood disorders...)
  11. Jules71

    Jules71 Warrior Mom since 2007

    Thanks TeDo and Insane! I think it could partly be anxiety and I have also wondered about Auditory Processing Disorders (APD). Of course the dev. pediatrician. blew that off too. My husband is the same. He looks like he is literally in pain to have to listen. Of course when I ask difficult child questions to try to get info about what is bothering him he tells me to shut up. I have been asking him how his day was as well as much more specific questions after school since K and he never wants to talk about it. I will get one words answers or now that he is getting older he told me to shut up that I was making him think and that was making him mad. He didn't turn in his folder with signed papers today. He said no one else did and no one told him to. His little brother in his first day of K today turned in his. This has always been a problem (turning in things). He also does not seem to get verbal cues to do things or stop doing things. I am going to look into the Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) thing. I asked about it at school last year and they said the didn't have an audiologist. What do I look up to find a private place near us? I am thinking of sensory processing disorder (SPD) evaluation too.
  12. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Sorry I can't help you with that one. From what I've been told, there is only one specialist in our state (which I find VERY hard to believe) that tests for APDs but no one seems to know where she is working out of or even if she's still in the state (haven't asked Buddy's in her neck of the woods I guess). As for the sensory processing disorder (SPD) evaluation, find a good Occupational Therapist (OT) that works specifically with children. I found a center an hour from us and they were extremely thorough and worked really well with difficult child 1.
  13. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    Have either of your kids ever been to an ENT doctor? If not, see if anyone that you know can recommend one. Call that office and ask who they can recommend to do Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) testing. That, for us, actually led to the neuropsyche who is going to do easy child's academic evaluations starting next week. If you think that this might be a problem keep pushing until you find someone who can do the testing for you. Leave no stone unturned.

    Good luck. I hope the coming week starts out better for you.
  14. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Depending on who does what, in your area... and whether they have access to the right screening tests...
    HERE, the first stop would be a Speech Language Pathologist (SLP), who would pre-screen for all of the APDs. If they are not specifically testing for "auditory figure ground", then they are likely using older - and less specific - screening tools.

    If he's missing verbal clues at school, but doesn't really have a language problem, I'd be guessing it's going to be something like auditory figure ground: this is where the brain has trouble filtering out background noise. So, they hear just fine, and learn just fine one-on-one in a quiet setting, but... classroom can be a huge problem. The good news is... APDs are met with accommodations and interventions (in this case, technology)... no medications required.
  15. Jules71

    Jules71 Warrior Mom since 2007

    Thanks everyone! I just found out there is a speech therapy office right next to our pediatrician. I am going to contact them to see if they have someone who can test difficult child or recommend someone. I found this information interesting in my search for more info:

    Problem Areas for Kids With Central Auditory Processing Disorder (CAPD)
    The five main problem areas that can affect both home and school activities in kids with Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) are:

    1. Auditory Figure-Ground Problems: when a childcan't pay attention if there's noise in the background. Noisy, low-structured classrooms could be very frustrating.

    2. Auditory Memory Problems: when a childhas difficulty remembering information such as directions, lists, or study materials. It can be immediate ("I can't remember it now" ) and/or delayed ("I can't remember it when I need it for later" ).

    3. Auditory Discrimination Problems: when a childhas difficulty hearing the difference between words or sounds that are similar (COAT/BOAT or CH/SH). This can affect following directions, and reading, spelling, and writing skills, among others.

    4. Auditory Attention Problems: when a childcan't stay focused on listening long enough to complete a task or requirement (such as listening to a lecture in school). Kids with Central Auditory Processing Disorder (CAPD) often have trouble maintaining attention, although health, motivation, and attitude also can play a role.

    5. Auditory Cohesion Problems: when higher-level listening tasksare difficult. Auditory cohesion skills — drawing inferences from conversations, understanding riddles, or comprehending verbal math problems — require heightened auditory processing and language levels. They develop best when all the other skills (levels 1 through 4 above) are intact.
  16. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Yup, that's something like the list we have. PLUS there is the original classical one - verbal language processing problems, where comprehension is low on verbal, even though language comprehension is actually high - often shows as a wide discrepancy between written comprehension and oral comprehension.

    If they are testing for that list... they will be testing for everything currently known.

    Way To Go on that research.