Hi, I'm new, kinda shy.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Anaheimfan, Nov 5, 2008.

  1. Anaheimfan

    Anaheimfan Blue Collar Boy

    Hello everyone,

    My name is thank you, I stumbled upon this site awhile ago while looking for a definition for ODD.

    After reading through the forums a little bit, I thought that maybe I could be a somewhat useful resource.

    I am a Fire Prevention Officer here in the Great, White North. Mostly, I go into schools, daycare centers, and make Fire Safety presentations as well as conduct fire station tours. I deal with a little bit of Juvenile Arsonists, and am currently learning the ropes of the TAPP-C program. (The Arson Prevention Program for Children).

    I like working with kids, which is why I enjoy my job. I was also on the Fire Department's Vehicle Rescue Team this year.

    I look forward to meeting all of you folks, and I hope that I can make myself useful in some way. Or maybe just be a regular around here offering words of support.

    Stay safe,

    thank you.
  2. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hi thank you,

    I commend you on your line of work.

    Most of the folks on this board or parents or grandparents of difficult children. I am curious as to what instigated your search for odd - do you have a family member with that diagnosis?

    All are welcome here.

  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Welcome, thank you. I'm old as dirt and not the least bit shy!

    Do you have a difficult child or are you just curious about the disorder that lead you to the CD Board? This is a great group and we're always happy to see someone new. DDD
  4. Anaheimfan

    Anaheimfan Blue Collar Boy

    Thank you, Sharon.

    I used to work with a fellow who said that his son had ODD. Also, growing up, I knew quite a few kids who were diagnosed with ODD, and I wanted to get a better understanding of the subject.
  5. Anaheimfan

    Anaheimfan Blue Collar Boy

    Thanks, DDD.

    It was curiousity that lead me to the CD board, growing up I knew a lot of kids who had ODD, and I worked with a man who's son had ODD. My mom used to work for the Children's Aid Society of Algoma (similar to Children's Services), so she would sometimes talk about things like ODD, ADHD.
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Welcome thank you!

    Many of us have had times when we needed advice for kids who were playing with matches or fire, whether they were our difficult kids or not. I look forward to having someone with fire safety experience who can help us answer questions. We will answer any questions we can for you.

    What approach is recommended to help deal with a child who is curious about fire and may be playing iwth matches? One woman here was told by her child's therapist to have him strike 200 or so matches, while our fire dept advised my family to bring my easy child daughter (normal child, not difficult, but went through a stage where she was VERY interested in fire - thankfully we are past this). The fire dept talked to her about the dangers, and we make sure to have her do the local FD's "smoke house" demo about every 6 months. It is where kids can go through a simulated burning building to learn how to get out.

    I am also curious as to what brought you here. A family member, or just the kids you are or will be workign with?
  7. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Welcome! It seems almost all kids are interested in lighting matches at some point. How do we know when that interest goes further into a dangerous obsession? What are signs that the kid may be lighting matches in secret? When/where do you see the most problems in these secret lightings?

    My difficult child was into matches last Spring/Summer. I purchased candles in jars and he was only allowed to light them when he was taking a shower or bath. He had lots of showers and baths for a few weeks.

    I also allowed him to light smoke bombs (supervised) in the cul de sac.

    I did find out that he and the neighbor boy went into easy child's room, gathered all her candles (she collected them), and lit all of them! Trouble big time for that one.

    Fortunately, he has since lost interest in this activity. (that I know of)
  8. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Hello thank you, and welcome to a fellow Canuck!

    I too commend the work that you do.
    My difficult child was (is) a firebug, obsessed with matches and fire. We used to find little burned patches all over the house where difficult child had lit up the wallpaper, carpets, in one case even the head of a teddy bear (fortunately made of flame retardant fabric).

    Even with all matches locked in a strong box, and then kept in our locked bedroom, difficult child would get hold of them. His Residential Treatment Center (RTC) doesn't keep any matches or lighters on the premises at all. I haven't seen signs of this behaviour in difficult child for a while, and wonder...is he over it or is it just that he doesn't have access to the tools anymore...

    Is your interest in ODD because of the juvenile arsonists that you deal with in your work? Or do you have a family member that you're concerned about?

    In any case, welcome!
  9. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Hi thank you, welcome.
    Can you give us an idea of what sorts of kids were arsonists? Did they do it on a dare? For Fun? To be mean?
    Did you notice any personality patterns?
    My son got into lighthing things at home for awhile but I think we broke him of the habit.
  10. Anaheimfan

    Anaheimfan Blue Collar Boy

    I should have also added in my introduction that I used to be a Student Paramedic, so that coupled with my work with the Fire Department, I have had to develop a pyschological safety net to deal with everything I saw....And that safety net is Gallows Humor. My sense of humor is kind of dark and seems cold-hearted at times, so I sincerely apologize if I offend anyone without realizing.
  11. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    As parents of difficult child's, a lot of us have developed that Gallows Humor, too. You'll fit right in.

    Welcome to the board.
  12. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Okay Anaheim, I'm ready. :)
  13. Anaheimfan

    Anaheimfan Blue Collar Boy

    Ready for...? I'm sorry, I'm kind of slow tonight.
  14. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    thank you, I like the saying in your signature. It really does put the priorites that firefighters need to have in very clear terms. I hope that somewhere, somehow you have a saying to ask help in knowing the difference between when someone is saveable and when it is just too late. And to help you deal with the times when you just can't help. That must be incredibly difficult to deal with.

    My uncle was a volunteer firefighter for many years, also on P&G's firefighting team (he worked in one of their factories in OH). I can remember him telling us about when the Beverly Hills Supper Club in Cincinnati, OH burned down in the 70's. He STILL, to this day, has nightmares about things he saw that night. He was a strong influence on me, making safety one of my top priorities (my nickname as a little girl was Safetybug). It made me less than popular with other kids as a child, but it DID keep some of the kids on my block from getting seriously hurt.

    Anyway, I hope that you have good coping techniques for the bad days. Thanks for offering advice here.
  15. Anaheimfan

    Anaheimfan Blue Collar Boy

    Thank you, Susie.

    When it comes to people, it's just triage for me. Some people are dead, those people can't be helped, so we have to move onto a salvageable person. It pains us to see a deceased person, but chances are better the next person we happen upon will be salvageable, and we'll make a difference, so that's basically the way I look at it. "Too late" is always apparent to us unfortunately. I cannot--and don't exactly want to--repeat the things that I have seen, but I can tell you that in some cases, you know all too well that you were Too Late.

    The first patient I ever worked on the EMS was my friend's grandfather. He had had a heart attack, and was down for 25 minutes before 911 was called, we worked him for 30 minutes, and unfortunately, he never came back...I was only a student, and in my mind, I felt that we could have saved him if we had been called sooner, but my Supervisor said it would not have made a difference, because that is when he chose to go, even if we had been there when he dropped, it wouldn't have changed anything. He had told his family 3 days prior that he was going to die, so he had made up his mind. And in some cases, that is the way you have to look at it, it was simply their time. And that's what keeps you from going Coo Coo For Coa Coa Puffs (CCFCCP)

    My second VSA (Vital Signs Absent) patient had been down for 6 hours before 911 was called. He was a pleasent older gentleman whom I knew well enough...And we couldn't help him, he was a Code 5 (Obvious Death). All we did was go in, check his Vitals, "declare" him, and write up an ACR. Going home that night, I had to remember that he was 90some years old, sick, and had been down for 6 hours anyway, so there was nothing we could have done. And I felt okay with the whole thing after that.

    I'm glad that your attitude towards safety kept the kids on your block safe, may I call you Safetybug? :D I actually kinda like that nickname.

    I bet that your Uncle was an amazing man.

    I can happily say that I have coping devices (they improved from clamming up and things of the sort) which work very well for me. I have an amazing group of friends to talk to both on and off the Job.

    I'm glad to offer any advice I can to make people's lives easier...And a whole lot safer.
  16. Jena

    Jena New Member

    Hey thank you,

    I just wanted to jump in very late and say welcome!!!
  17. Anaheimfan

    Anaheimfan Blue Collar Boy

    It's never too late for a welcome :) Thank you.
  18. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    I'm coming in a bit late with my welcome - I was actually availing myself of the services of your Aussie counterparts. husband had to call the ambulance for me on Wednesday morning (gastric bug complications). In Australia the rules now are that the fire brigade has to also be called to help remove a person to the ambulance trolley, as a rescue support.

    Glad you're on this site - your perspective will be useful and the gallows humour will fit right in. I also have to watch what I might naturally say sometimes - we're a pragmatic lot Down Under.

  19. Anaheimfan

    Anaheimfan Blue Collar Boy

    Hope you're feeling better, Marg.
  20. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Welcome Sparky!

    So yer shy huh? This board will fix that - mostly.

    When my son was 4 my nephew set my sons bed on fire with my son in it. Luckily no one was hurt, and the damage was contained to his bedroom with smoke damage through out the house. Despite the best efforts to explain to the officer berating MY son and NOT my nephew it may have had an impact. We did take him to the station and let him see other toys that had been burned in home fires from playing with matches.

    At six? Our home was struck twice by lightning and burned to the ground.

    With that under our belts and the education the firehouse gave with age appropriate pictures and lectures - we've managed to escape any fire play.

    Good work! Keep it up!