Things are a bit complicated, but here goes! I'm 34, mom of two. difficult child is 12 1/2 diagnosis'd with High-Functioning Autism (HFA)/Bipolar/ODD/ADHD/Encopresis easy child is 9. I am married but separated from my husband of 9 years. We still live together, but I'm moving to California in December with difficult child (and hopefully easy child) to live with my boyfriend, who is very understanding and supportive of both myself and difficult child. My husband and my difficult child do not get along. At all. It's constant fighting back and forth. It's like i have two of them most days. husband is difficult child's step father since difficult child was 2 years old. husband has one parenting method - authoritarian - and he is pretty much the entire reason my difficult child has ODD. I talked to other parents, read books, researched online, found out everything I could about difficult child's disorders, but husband seemed to counter every move I made with difficult child..we've moved past the hate part, and decided we can be friends, but we can't be together, and he really cannot handle difficult child. I used to be very active on parenting forums up until about 2 years ago, when I became so overwhelmed with everything, not having support, etc that I just withdrew into myself completely. Shut down. Medicated myself into oblivion with anti depressants, sleep medications.. Boyfriend helped pull me out of that, gradually, and now I'm almost medication free and back in the game. I am exhausted from the constant micro managing of difficult child. I have to be on him with every step of every task it seems or it doesn't get done, or he gets in to trouble. He seems to break everything he touches, he smears feces in his room, pees on the floor/ in the tub / in the trash can.. seemingly everywhere but where he is supposed to. difficult child will do or say anything to get a rise out of husband, and most of the time easy child gets caught in the middle. It's a mess. I need help. Support from other parents who are in the same trenches. I'm ready to crawl out of my hole and get back in this fight! We're currently looking at a day program for difficult child in California, with the idea that if it doesn't seem to gain him any progress in 6 months we'll move him to full inpatient care for at least a year. So.. that's us, in a nutshell. I hope I can be of some help to other parents as well!