It has been quite a while since I was here. I blink and weeks pass it seems. I noticed that it says I haven't been here since January. It does not seem like it has been that long. Work keeps me busy then of course my social activities (genealogy society). I took on another charity....Preeclampsia Foundation does a walk and I am volunteering to help with that. Now I have been asked to be on the women's bowling board as well. It seems so strange that now that things aren't as active with all the kids I am jumping into all sorts of other things. I just can't stop myself. I do know how to not overextend though. I also discovered professional massages. I was given a gift certificate for Christmas. After using it I discovered the one thing I will give myself every month. husband didn't even bat an eye when I told him from now on I would be getting one on a monthly basis. difficult child 1 is pretty much the same. She is still in the group home and we are still her guardian. She will be twenty in May. I truly don't feel old enough to have a child leaving her teens. She just made contact with her biomom. Since we are her guardians we put restrictions on the visits for now to make sure she stays safe. So far nothing horrible has happened but we still somewhat hold our breathes. She still is more like a 14 year old then 19 almost 20 but alas we expect that will be the case for a long time if not always. She wants to no longer have a guardian however things were very clearly drawn out for her as to why she still needs one. We don't play an active part of things with her but just check in periodically. It seems to be keeping the relationship better. So for now this is the path we will continue with her. difficult child 2 turned 17 today. He also graduated from High School. We didn't really think he would make it to graduating but he did. I cried when the speech was given by the administrator because it was so true. It just felt good to have something "normal" happen in his life. We are going to be working on civil commitment for when he turns 18. We have discussed in detail with his JCO that we don't think he is safe yet. She fully agrees. He still really doesn't work the program. He has improved very nominally in the last month but until then nothing. He still has those all to risking behaviors and I am not willing to sit back and let there be another victim if I can do something to prevent it. Everyone else seems to agree. easy child is now in the National Guard. She is doing the pre basic training drills. She graduates in May (all of my babies will have graduated then). We are working on party plans and prom plans. I look at her and my mind swims. She is so goal oriented and focussed it almost frightens me. Living with the chaos sent her down a radically different path. She goes to basic training in July. husband is still the wonderful man I met 8 years ago. It kind of frightens me that when easy child goes to basic training and ait that he and I will be alone for so long for the first time in our married lives. I am excited to still be at an age to do some thing with him and enjoy ourselves but wow it is scary too. easy child and I went on a trip to Texas and Mexico last week. It was so much fun to enjoy her last spring break in high school with a special mother daughter trip. I hope everyone has been hanging in there. I plan to look around ( I stay away a couple months and look at the changes around here).