I had severe PTSD due to abusive x. I have been in therapy for about 11 years. Most recently we did an EMDR or hypno type therapy for about a month and it helped tremendously.
Mostly what helps PTSD heal is therapy and time - and knowing that you are NOW in a situation where the same things are NOT going to happen to you again. IF you have PTSD from your first marriage or childhood, you often seek out a living situation that mimics the abusive situation - you just don't realize it. Some things are different - but YOU are making the same poor choices - because no one has said "Here's how to make a good choice for yourself." That's what therapy is - learning HOW to make a good choice for yourself that dominoes and causes you to start making good decisions for your kids - and once they see that Mom is making good, healthy choices - you break the cycle of abuse - and hopefully (I was told in my situation) by the time I have Grandchildren the cycle is gone.
Without someone standing up and being so miserable with their lives that they WANT to change - everything stays the same generation to generation, grandparent, to parent, to child.....
WAY TO GO JEN - I am SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!! You came to the board, and asked for advice - took it and are DOING SOMETHING to make HUGE changes in your life and the life of your kids - The best gift you can give your kids is to take care of yourself, respect yourself, and love yourself.
Think about this - If you married someone abusive - and you never get out of that situation, and you have children that are raised in a home where the man is abusive - the chances for your sons or daughters to go out and abuse their spouses or s/o's is greater.
However; if you married someone abusive - and you have the courage to get out of that situation, and you just get out - and never go to therapy and never change - you will
more than likely repeat the scenario, but maybe the next time on a lesser (but still abusive) scale -the chances for your sons or daughters to go out and abuse their spouses, or take abuse because it was allowed in their home (even if it was not wanted) or s/0's is less than if you did nothing at all but it's still a risk.
So if you married someone abusive - and you have the courage to get out of that situation, and you get out, take yourself to therapy, and start to change - you are
NOT likely to repeat the scenario and your children are less likely to allow themselves to be abused by anyone - because through therapy we learn how to respect ourselves, how to make good choices, how to tell others NO, how to love our children enough to do the best things for ourselves and set an example of what WILL and will NOT be tolerated in our lives irregardless of where we are.
I think you are on the right path jen - I wish you great luck - success isn't easy - and some days you just won't want to go and talk about your shortcomings, it's hard, it can be painful at times - but isn't it all worth it to know that you FOR SURE will NEVER put up with the behaviors that made you have PTSD in the first place? And isn't it an even BETTER thought to know that because you are doing what you can - your girls will have less of a chance of choosing a man that would abuse them or that they will not allow anyone to abuse them? - I hope I know you when you get your confidence diploma - It's like an associates in life degree!! More valuable towards stopping heart aches before they happen then you will ever know.
Hugs
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