Hi! I am new here...have just read around the forums on a few threads and already know this is a place I need to be. I am a mother of four...have had all four of my kids on the spectrum to some degree, but my youngest, who just turned 12, is affected the worst. I had him when I was almost 40 and I feel WWWAAAYYYY too old for this. I am also ill with a rare nerve disease that causes a lot of pain and fatigue and I feel like I already have too much to deal with, much less to have a child with all the problems my son has. So far he has been diagnosed with ODD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), ADHD, Tourette's, and an anxiety disorder. His autism spectrum screening is coming up. He also has the same nerve disease I have and is in a lot of physical pain which adds to his behavior issues and general anxiety. He has had bad reactions to medications we have tried thus far, and his doctor said he cannot be on any of the SSRI's or similar medications. For right now, we are just trying to do behavior modification and CBT. My husband of many years never could handle our life with the disease, the behaviors, and he and I are getting a divorce so I am doing this solo. My soon to be ex does NOT and probably never will co-parent with me. On his weekends with our son there are no limits set, he fills him full of junk food and sugar, lets him stay up all hours and do whatever he wants, just to return him to me in a horrible state. I have no proof of this, and my husband just lies and says he follows the care plans I have shared with him....even if he doesn't. My son then covers for him and says that yes, his dad followed the plan....but his brother who also goes with him to visitation says that there is no plan and that his dad lets the youngest do whatever he wants. My ex is using the...what do you guys call him...the difficult child? Anyway, he is using the difficult child's selfish tendencies that are there to "get one over" on Mom and also my ex enjoys returning him to me in such a sugar filled mess! Then Mom's house is the one with limits, chores, expected behaviors, etc. It is what it is...I know that it is just something I have to deal with....but I am beyond tired. I feel like going to sleep and never waking up!