Hello my knowing public!
The first session went well and the advantages are the time we spend revealing what is not otherwise being said and I am so glade.
(...for the word weary...this is the gest of the message..) thank your for caring.......the details to follow are just details.
My actions: calling the police when my son was swearing at me and pushing me...continue to be "the problem" according to my son.
That and that the friends are uniformly now unwilling to visit. (I had thrown out teens and had contacted parents in the last months over the new behavor of staying out all night and the attemps to have overnights with mixed groups without supervision)
and I called the police when the parents of one who my son was with did not answer their phones and the curfew had been missed and my calls were not answered.
and because the adult homeless fellow that has been latching on to teens and going to their houses for sleep and food and bathing and was with them when the last unauthorized overnighter happened is on my list for immediate action when seen.
The pot smoking parents of teens who are failing in school and have had numerous occations when the older now moved away adults were arrested and in jail for one after another thing...well, they do not LIKE me...because the police were at there door and learned that they DID NOT know where their son was..(the last time the police were tracking Mom down her son was in ER)
We are focusing on the communication and the use of the phone to call me and keep me informed as to where and with whom and following the rules about being in supervised situations after dark.
And the dialogue that the therapist is starting IS already helping.
All the books that talk about medications also say that behavor help is important and as long as students are doing work no one cares.
The small families without any or meaningful support of other caring adults need the help AT HOME.
And families that have memebers with depressive illness need the caring
support and ideas AT HOME, too.
Because I am doing this alone I really apreciate the ideas that others offer
because I am ALONE...the single head...and it does help fill the void when
another adult or teen or child is in the dialogue...it stirs up a reason to talk and be involved.
Now we live in a house with rooms. For most of our lives together we have lived in one room, or less, and the seperation we installed to cope has now become a useless shoe.
It is the socializing issues that matter too. And the child who is not surrounded by possitive people supporting them, even really wonderfull and terrific kids, are so vunerable to peers with all their inclinations.
Anyway...my childs psyciatrist called me the lone ranger of Special Education because I insisted that the services he needed be implimented (he qualified) even though the usual measure in their minds was failing grades.
Our brillliant and diagnosed children are as tripped up by their unique learning skills and I think it adds stress that we can only imagin for them.
Some of the learners need enrichments...not remenial help..and that independant education plan has to be taylored to their abilities...not policy.
And the social piece is so difficult as well. In fifth grade my son was in tears because the friends he met first didn't like to read.
Having a behavor impulse issue and being able to think are not mutually exclusive.
The fact is the first school psycologist who called me said that my son would never learn math and whatever...he said he would have to be a laborer.
That "expert" was just plain a fool. ANd I shutter to think that someone who did not have the curiousity and drive to dig through what is our there
and learn enough about the state of the sciences and the various schools of thought and human developement might be inclined to just let the
indifferance of others result in the neglect that I do believe we are witnessing everyday in so many younge even now. That is terrible.
I am tierd. I am broke and looking at the holidays again this year with not enough. My son is doing excellantly in school and it is a pain in my heart that I can not reward him for all his good work with more of what he does need and can benifit from. ANd as awfull as he has been lately in this teen
faze I am darn proud as heck who he is and how much he does do well.
In fact his recent issues..after I got over my intial reactive emotions.....I think are more about the places where he does not have the caring attention of others and peers in step with himself. Or models to follow that
jell friend wise.
Next week another session...I hope all this proves to serve well. Thanks for being word enthusists.
I am much worse in person.
Lucky you,eh?
The first session went well and the advantages are the time we spend revealing what is not otherwise being said and I am so glade.
(...for the word weary...this is the gest of the message..) thank your for caring.......the details to follow are just details.
My actions: calling the police when my son was swearing at me and pushing me...continue to be "the problem" according to my son.
That and that the friends are uniformly now unwilling to visit. (I had thrown out teens and had contacted parents in the last months over the new behavor of staying out all night and the attemps to have overnights with mixed groups without supervision)
and I called the police when the parents of one who my son was with did not answer their phones and the curfew had been missed and my calls were not answered.
and because the adult homeless fellow that has been latching on to teens and going to their houses for sleep and food and bathing and was with them when the last unauthorized overnighter happened is on my list for immediate action when seen.
The pot smoking parents of teens who are failing in school and have had numerous occations when the older now moved away adults were arrested and in jail for one after another thing...well, they do not LIKE me...because the police were at there door and learned that they DID NOT know where their son was..(the last time the police were tracking Mom down her son was in ER)
We are focusing on the communication and the use of the phone to call me and keep me informed as to where and with whom and following the rules about being in supervised situations after dark.
And the dialogue that the therapist is starting IS already helping.
All the books that talk about medications also say that behavor help is important and as long as students are doing work no one cares.
The small families without any or meaningful support of other caring adults need the help AT HOME.
And families that have memebers with depressive illness need the caring
support and ideas AT HOME, too.
Because I am doing this alone I really apreciate the ideas that others offer
because I am ALONE...the single head...and it does help fill the void when
another adult or teen or child is in the dialogue...it stirs up a reason to talk and be involved.
Now we live in a house with rooms. For most of our lives together we have lived in one room, or less, and the seperation we installed to cope has now become a useless shoe.
It is the socializing issues that matter too. And the child who is not surrounded by possitive people supporting them, even really wonderfull and terrific kids, are so vunerable to peers with all their inclinations.
Anyway...my childs psyciatrist called me the lone ranger of Special Education because I insisted that the services he needed be implimented (he qualified) even though the usual measure in their minds was failing grades.
Our brillliant and diagnosed children are as tripped up by their unique learning skills and I think it adds stress that we can only imagin for them.
Some of the learners need enrichments...not remenial help..and that independant education plan has to be taylored to their abilities...not policy.
And the social piece is so difficult as well. In fifth grade my son was in tears because the friends he met first didn't like to read.
Having a behavor impulse issue and being able to think are not mutually exclusive.
The fact is the first school psycologist who called me said that my son would never learn math and whatever...he said he would have to be a laborer.
That "expert" was just plain a fool. ANd I shutter to think that someone who did not have the curiousity and drive to dig through what is our there
and learn enough about the state of the sciences and the various schools of thought and human developement might be inclined to just let the
indifferance of others result in the neglect that I do believe we are witnessing everyday in so many younge even now. That is terrible.
I am tierd. I am broke and looking at the holidays again this year with not enough. My son is doing excellantly in school and it is a pain in my heart that I can not reward him for all his good work with more of what he does need and can benifit from. ANd as awfull as he has been lately in this teen
faze I am darn proud as heck who he is and how much he does do well.
In fact his recent issues..after I got over my intial reactive emotions.....I think are more about the places where he does not have the caring attention of others and peers in step with himself. Or models to follow that
jell friend wise.
Next week another session...I hope all this proves to serve well. Thanks for being word enthusists.
I am much worse in person.
Lucky you,eh?