Hopeless in NC

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Becky, Sep 4, 2008.

  1. Becky

    Becky Becky

    My son turns 21 tomorrow , can not live with me because of his rudeness to my husband and his stepdad. He can not stay with my other two kids due to his stealing and substance abuse. He has been in and out of trouble since he was 15. He has served his time in jail for stealing and never been bailed out. He went a rehab in Wilmington and finish a year. The he met his baby's mom and had a beautiful boy . He could not or would not work like he should and was living on the streets and almost died. I brought him back up here and he live with a friend for 3 months . He got back into the bad habits of stealing , drugs and drinking. Now he is on the streets again. He came crying to me for help. I took him to a mental hospital and they would not help due to not sucidial or insurance. I am at a lost. Everyone says turn my back on him and pray. God has never turned his back on me and would not want me to turn my back on him. Please someone give me some guidance.
  2. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    America's Keswick is here in NJ. It's christian based. And I believe there's a sliding scale. I so badly wanted S2BX to go there.

  3. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hi Becky, welcome to the forums! It's a great group of people who've seen it all. You might want to post this on the "Teens and Substance Abuse" forum. Those regular readers have an extensive amount of information and experience on these things.

    Again, welcome!

  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi, Becky :) I highly recommend you post on Parent Emeritus where we post about our grown kids, most who have been or are at where your child is at.
    Welcome to the board :)
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Hi Becky, you've gotten some good direction here. Just wanted to send hugs.
  6. Christy

    Christy New Member


    I can imagine how desperately you want to help your child but he needs to be in a place in his life where he is willing to accept help and help himself. You are not turning your back on him by allowing him to suffer the consequences of his choices. Is he willing to go back into rehab? Is there a local homeless shelter that offers addiction counseling. You can offer to seek out potential community resources for him but you can't solve his problems. This is a hard thing for a mom to accept.

  7. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Hello and welcome.
    There is a difference between turning your back and detachment so he suffers some of the consequences to his actions. Some of our kids don't get it until they see the actual outcome.
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Welcome. Have you been to AlAnon or NarcAnon? I strongly recommend going to meetings on a regular basis.

    I am so sorry your son has gone back to abusing drugs and alcohol. There really is a big difference between turning your back on him and detaching so that he is able to "hit bottom". Very few addicts/alcoholics, if any, turn things around before they hit bottom - and bottom is different for every person. YOUR bottom is not HIS bottom. It was very hard to go through this before, as his mom. What kinds of things helped you then? Are any of those helpful things options now?

    Sending prayers and hugs.