buddy
New Member
We went to make cookies and Q did really well, rolled dough, cut them, decorated them, was ugly to me once in a while but good for my sisters... I ran an errand and came back he was taking a 10 minute break, no complaints...so they took care of whatever happened, not a big deal obviously.
Then we finished decorating and were gonna put our separate trays of all the different kinds together. medications were good, I didn't miss any. My sister asked where a cherry pie came from and it turned out it was an extra from a shopping trip and they asked if we wanted to take a little home, Q grabbed the whole pie. I asked him to put it down and he refused and then took plates and started to pile up the cookies he decorated sayign they were HIS and not putting them in a container, I tried to get him to settle back down, go to green zone, he started swearing at me and every word in the world came out, repeating even when no one was arguing, he was totally stuck, I just gathered our stuff up and walked out, he had his plates and the pie and in the car he kept swearing and finally it started to let up, I told him that this is too hard. I can't go to any more family times and have them end like this. He said he was sorry and can we turn around and give Kayla the pie (my niece wanted some for her lunch. I said yes, we had to give them all of the pie though. He said ok... I went back, gave them the pie, and he was to wait in the car. I gathered up the cookies I wanted too as long as I was there and he got out... came in and started calling me a d-bag and b again... so I walked out to the car and he followed...
As soon as we started driving he asked if he could have his pie when we got home. I said no. Can I earn it. I said, not today. He said tomorrow then. I said we wlll see... he was totally accepting and back to how he was before the transition and food issue.
Those two things have been such huge triggers and they both hit at the same time. So frustrating. He did not get aggressive at all, but would not let go of anything. When I got the music on in the car he calmed and was mad at himself but knew he had really blown it. I get so torn because he has such a hard time, but I can't let him think it is OK either....
This is the 4th family event that has ended ugly. Some short, some long, so time does not seem to be the issue. Just the transition, and I give him prep, when we will be leaving etc. He just gets very single minded and there is no talking him out of HIS idea and his concern must be addressed. His cousins got their Christmas presents early... from their Dad because he and his wife will be out of town, so they all had iPods and Q admitted he was jealous. Now he is afraid that he wont get anything... The mean part of me is not ready to reassure him yet. Makes me not so excited about Xmas eve and day this year... I am tired of the blow up that seems like will happen no matter the steps I take to prevent it.
I wish there was a christmas respite I could send him to. But I know I would really miss him.
Then we finished decorating and were gonna put our separate trays of all the different kinds together. medications were good, I didn't miss any. My sister asked where a cherry pie came from and it turned out it was an extra from a shopping trip and they asked if we wanted to take a little home, Q grabbed the whole pie. I asked him to put it down and he refused and then took plates and started to pile up the cookies he decorated sayign they were HIS and not putting them in a container, I tried to get him to settle back down, go to green zone, he started swearing at me and every word in the world came out, repeating even when no one was arguing, he was totally stuck, I just gathered our stuff up and walked out, he had his plates and the pie and in the car he kept swearing and finally it started to let up, I told him that this is too hard. I can't go to any more family times and have them end like this. He said he was sorry and can we turn around and give Kayla the pie (my niece wanted some for her lunch. I said yes, we had to give them all of the pie though. He said ok... I went back, gave them the pie, and he was to wait in the car. I gathered up the cookies I wanted too as long as I was there and he got out... came in and started calling me a d-bag and b again... so I walked out to the car and he followed...
As soon as we started driving he asked if he could have his pie when we got home. I said no. Can I earn it. I said, not today. He said tomorrow then. I said we wlll see... he was totally accepting and back to how he was before the transition and food issue.
Those two things have been such huge triggers and they both hit at the same time. So frustrating. He did not get aggressive at all, but would not let go of anything. When I got the music on in the car he calmed and was mad at himself but knew he had really blown it. I get so torn because he has such a hard time, but I can't let him think it is OK either....
This is the 4th family event that has ended ugly. Some short, some long, so time does not seem to be the issue. Just the transition, and I give him prep, when we will be leaving etc. He just gets very single minded and there is no talking him out of HIS idea and his concern must be addressed. His cousins got their Christmas presents early... from their Dad because he and his wife will be out of town, so they all had iPods and Q admitted he was jealous. Now he is afraid that he wont get anything... The mean part of me is not ready to reassure him yet. Makes me not so excited about Xmas eve and day this year... I am tired of the blow up that seems like will happen no matter the steps I take to prevent it.
I wish there was a christmas respite I could send him to. But I know I would really miss him.