I don't even know what to think of this kid's behavior or thought process right now. At a friend's suggestion, I rented Marley and Me last night. I didn't know the dog died at the end. difficult child cried and cried, and I held him and assured him it was only a movie, but that this is what would really happen to our dogs and cats if he kept doing things to them that hurt them. And that if it made him sad to see a dog pretend to die on tv, how was he going to feel when it was one of our own dogs, dead right here in our living room, and they wouldn't ever get up and be alive again. He said he was sorry and would never do it again. Not that I really believe that. He always means it after the rage is over, until the next time.
Timer Lady, he's not getting any sort of decent services right now. It's a long, long story. We live in Louisiana, and there's *nothing* here. He does counseling with a social worker once a week through the office of Developmental Disabilities, and sees the therapist for medications every three months. That's it. There's no wrap around, no in home therapy, nothing like that here. There's respite, but there's a two year wait.
We moved to Tennessee for a year last in 2007, because difficult child was born and his adoption finalized there. He qualified for services through their adoption preservation program, but had to be a resident to get the services. He spents five months in a sub acute inpatient program, then had three months of three times a week in home therapy. But my daughter and I were miserable in Tennessee. We knew *no one* at all. Due to her disabilities, getting out to socialize was very hard. She grew very depressed and starting turning into a difficult child herself, with the tongue of a viper. She loathed and resented him and our home life was hell. My ex husband barely called and didn't visit the whole time we were there, and she felt like difficult child had stolen her father from her, essentially. And then things got very scary with her health last summer, and it became clear that she doesn't have a lot of time left, so I moved us back to Louisiana so she could spend that time with our family, friends, and church community. It's not fun to feel like I have to choose between what's best for one child or the other, but that there's no way to really meet the needs of both.