How often do you change the sheets?
- Thread starter AppleCori
- Start date
Copabanana
Well-Known Member
Copabanana
Well-Known Member
PASA. Are you familiar with the design website with this look? Out of Houston I think. I am blocking on the name. Your bedroom sounds lovely. I like this look, too.
Cote de Texas. That's it!
Last edited:
mof
Momdidntsignupforthis
pasajes4
Well-Known Member
Copa, I am not familiar with that website. I am very fortunate to live in a city where I have access to local crafts people who specialize in all things Texan. I spend a great deal of time in small towns that have a plethera of stuff that they just want to get rid of on the cheap.
Copabanana
Well-Known Member
I do not think I have bought one piece of furniture (OK, two bases for beds) new. Everything was bought in thrift stores, on Ebay or was my mother's.
While overwhelmed by the process, I treasure the endeavor of composing a room and house by recombining what is there, and creating something unique and representative of what my choices were, good or bad.
I am trying to see my life this way, too. That I compose my life by dealing with all of the broken pieces, either owning them and learning to value them as who I am as I chose to be or leaving them behind.
pasajes4
Well-Known Member
Copa, This is the first time in 63 years that my home is more than a house. It is now a complete reflection of who I am with absolutely 0 concession to another's tastes or opinions. It is very liberating. I now enjoy my home and get a great deal of pleasure just walking into a room. I have essentially banished the bad memories and feeling of doom that used to great me at the door.
Copabanana
Well-Known Member
Pasa. I am interested how you did this. Was the decorating process part of it for you?
I have been overwhelmed dealing with the "stuff" of my life. Part of this is that I brought all of my mother's home and clothing to my home, and have been unwilling to get rid of anything, really. Part of it is that I coped by online buying with the devastation brought to me by her dying, and having to face my whole life (which I felt I lived wrongly.) And the consequence of this? Junk I do not need or want. It was the clicking of the "buy" button that seemed to be what I thought I needed to get through each minute.
For a long time I judged myself unmercifully for what I felt unable to do or what I had done wrong. And to accuse me more? All of this stuff.
I am trying to see this as part of the process of recovery (of self, really.) That is my particular and unique journey, without so much self-judgment which has really gotten in the way. So I am seeing all of this as a honing process of myself.
So I am curious how you did this, reclaimed yourself or rebuilt yourself, or owned yourself, or showed yourself. How do you see this process. I would be very interested in knowing.
mof
Momdidntsignupforthis
Funny you both are talking about this. We have refreshed our home this year...first time in many years, I felt the need to remove things from my home the way I needed remove certain memories and replace them with new hope.
I love using things we love and integrate them in our home. We have old, New, reclaimed altogether...but this year I yearned for a freshness.
On the other hand...I am not a keeper. If something g does not bring joy, I see no need in holding on to it. I also can feel strangled by too much stuff...now that the children are older, we are blissfully t hi king of downsizing. I have to remind myself many times,, don't wish your life away....enjoy the present. I have returned to work after a 8 month rest, and am slowly via ing momentum again...this is so important for me, to remember that I matter too.
I pray everyone can draw peace from their home..especially when we ha e had that peace shattered by our experiences.
I love using things we love and integrate them in our home. We have old, New, reclaimed altogether...but this year I yearned for a freshness.
On the other hand...I am not a keeper. If something g does not bring joy, I see no need in holding on to it. I also can feel strangled by too much stuff...now that the children are older, we are blissfully t hi king of downsizing. I have to remind myself many times,, don't wish your life away....enjoy the present. I have returned to work after a 8 month rest, and am slowly via ing momentum again...this is so important for me, to remember that I matter too.
I pray everyone can draw peace from their home..especially when we ha e had that peace shattered by our experiences.
Copabanana
Well-Known Member
mof. My mother died almost 3 and a half years ago. Except for some clothes and shoes I have not been able to let go of anything. Not toiletries, accessories. Not gifts she probably hated and never used, like a candle. Like knickknacks. Much of it I will keep the rest of my life, because I cannot see letting it go no matter how much of an encumbrance it becomes and how much it restricts me. As in: I will keep one larger house so that it will house my mothers things.
You are in ministry. I feel certain you have encountered this before. My relationship with my mother in life was not what either one of us needed or wanted. Always we had a friendship for the last 25 years of her life, each of us would have wanted way more.
Now the stuff is all I have. If my life is constrained by it, defined by it, this seems more a punishment than an act of love. Much of the stuff gives me pleasure. But in some sense it is a prison.
I am studying my religion to find a way through this. I believe forgiveness and an understanding, more fully, of humanity and the human life cycle through faith is where answers lie for me. Do you have wisdom about this you are willing to share?
Thank you.
mof
Momdidntsignupforthis
I do understand what you are saying, and have seen it with a close friend.
You cling to these things like they are her essence. You would feel pain if separated by these things. It is good you are looking into getting wisdom and guidance.
We all mourn and deal with loss differently and in different phases. I believe the base feelings are the same...but we all pause in different places..a stalling perhaps.
Those things are just that. Of course a collection of things that you both shared could give you comfort...but if all were lost what would you have? She is in y o ur heart. She lives there and will as long as you allow it. You are now the one who keeps her memory alive....but the things can become a prison and can create a vortex that drains.
I don't know your faith...but forgiveness can be freeing. You will decide when this can be done.
You are a very loving and gracious woman it seems....many blessings to you.
And Happy Heart Day
You cling to these things like they are her essence. You would feel pain if separated by these things. It is good you are looking into getting wisdom and guidance.
We all mourn and deal with loss differently and in different phases. I believe the base feelings are the same...but we all pause in different places..a stalling perhaps.
Those things are just that. Of course a collection of things that you both shared could give you comfort...but if all were lost what would you have? She is in y o ur heart. She lives there and will as long as you allow it. You are now the one who keeps her memory alive....but the things can become a prison and can create a vortex that drains.
I don't know your faith...but forgiveness can be freeing. You will decide when this can be done.
You are a very loving and gracious woman it seems....many blessings to you.
And Happy Heart Day
Copabanana
Well-Known Member
Yes. Thank you mof. This is true. The keeper of the flame. I will google that phrase, what it has meant symbolically through the ages. This helps me. Thank you.
Yes. It has been such a long process. But I am, gradually, accepting that it will be as long as it needs to be, this time of my life.
When I realized I had been mourning her already (in a way that felt that my own life story had stopped) for 5 percent of my life I was horrified. But it really is not about a number, is it?
Thank you.
AppleCori
Well-Known Member
I can relate, Copa.
While my house is relatively decluttered (though I am never totally through decluttering) my basement has boxes and boxes of my kids stuff from when they were young.
Boxes of artwork, crafts, schoolwork, ice skating/dance costumes, stuffed animals, various knick-knacks, and other things. I have a hard time parting with any of it.
When I think about getting rid of some of it, it almost feels like throwing out a part of that person. That's not rational, but that is how it feels.
While my house is relatively decluttered (though I am never totally through decluttering) my basement has boxes and boxes of my kids stuff from when they were young.
Boxes of artwork, crafts, schoolwork, ice skating/dance costumes, stuffed animals, various knick-knacks, and other things. I have a hard time parting with any of it.
When I think about getting rid of some of it, it almost feels like throwing out a part of that person. That's not rational, but that is how it feels.
pasajes4
Well-Known Member
Copa, I am not a keeper of stuff. My house held tragic and horrific memories. I thought of selling and moving to get "away from the pain." The pain was in me not the house or the things. I worked on me and at the same time I changed things around me. I made the house cheerful and light. Items that reminded me of anything negative were disposed of. Items that reminded me of good times, but eould have been too much, eere photographed and given to someone who would benefit from it. In essence sharing the love.
AppleCori
Well-Known Member
I read two books recently that has helped me put some things into perspective.
Organizing from the Inside Out, and When Organizing isn't Enough...She'd Your Stuff and Change Your Life, both by Julie Morgenstern. I found them both at the library, and liked them so much, I may buy them used online. They were helpful in understanding the reasons behind the resistance to let go of some stuff.
Organizing from the Inside Out, and When Organizing isn't Enough...She'd Your Stuff and Change Your Life, both by Julie Morgenstern. I found them both at the library, and liked them so much, I may buy them used online. They were helpful in understanding the reasons behind the resistance to let go of some stuff.
Janette Romano
New Member
I change once a week. 2 weeks is eeeww.
GoingNorth
Crazy Cat Lady
I love them! They are cool, crisp, smooth, and wash and dry well. Pet hair also doesn't seem to stick to them as much as it does to cotton.
Microfiber is right out as it is a pet hair and dander magnet.
GoingNorth
Crazy Cat Lady
Closest I've had to that is the hospital bed we had in the house the last few months of husband's life. I know you can order beds that allow adjusting the head and foot, and yes, they are controlled by a remote.
I am not sure whether they work with a standard mattress or if you have to buy a special mattress to work with them.
The hospital bed came with a special mattress, but easy cleanability and prevention of pressure points were an issue.
I'd research carefully before buying one of these beds as I get advertising in the mail and email for them. There does seem to be a scam potential.
I am not sure whether they work with a standard mattress or if you have to buy a special mattress to work with them.
The hospital bed came with a special mattress, but easy cleanability and prevention of pressure points were an issue.
I'd research carefully before buying one of these beds as I get advertising in the mail and email for them. There does seem to be a scam potential.
