How to avoid running out of money in retirement...

[seriously]

saw one of those internet ads out of the corner of my eye with that title and it struck my manic funny bone.

Let's see - how many goofy, dumb responses can we come up with to that question?

First one is sooooo easy of course.

1. DIE

2. Leech off your kids

3. Live in a dumptser

4. go live somewhere in Europe while you still have $$ but then run out?

5. Invest in a home (hahahahahahahahaha we are like 500% underwater) and then give it back to the lender (minus the pool pump, dishwasher, air conditioner, new countertops, slide in appliances, garage door opener, water heater, all bathroom fixtures, anything else not glued down so firmly that you can't get it off or out of the wall)

6. did I mention leech off your kids

7. oh forget that one - we have difficult children. Guess we're stuck with dog food and dumptsers

9. never retire

10 live in a cave and shoot things to eat until they come and take you away somewhere that they will feed you and clothe you and give you good medical care - all for free (I know these places exist cause i keep hearign about how much it is costing us taxpayers for these things)

 

[Malika]

Lol. Is the rationale of number 4 that if your money runs out in Europe you might get some social assistance?! You'd have to acquire nationality of a European Union country, quick.

 

[seriously]

what - no aid and comfort for poor old stupid americans? what if you don't have nay $$ to go home

 

[seriously]

and i suppose no one would marry me either

 

[Malika]

Ah, yes... it's all in the visa you get, you see. The tourist visas given to my (currently Moroccan national) son to visit the UK are stamped "no recourse to public finances"... Marriage could be a possibility but you'd have to be inventive and speedily seductive

 

[seriously]

ooooh speedily seductive. now that's a turn of phrase one doesn't see too often.


sigh. guess I won't be moving to europe without a speedily seductive outfit in my bag.

 

[hearts and roses]

The tourist visas given to my (currently Moroccan national) son to visit the UK are stamped "no recourse to public finances"...

Now there's an idea for the US. Hmmmm.I vote for leeching off the kids. After all, they completely sucked the life out of us for years!

 

[TerryJ2]

9. never retire

Yep. That's my plan.

 

[DammitJanet]

My theory is that I am going to attempt to stay as long as I can in my home because its paid for but when I cant stay here because either I cant get around and or Tony dies before me so there is no one to actually take care of me in the house, I will end up in a nursing home. There is no way I will go live with any of my kids. No way. Perhaps if I can put it off until Keyana is grown....lol. No...I wouldnt saddle her with that either. I would like to pick the home though. I dont want the one my mom was in but I know a few around here that are rather nice.

 

[DDD]

Never retire?? Am there doing that! Bummer. DDD

 

[Hound dog]

We're on the never retire bandwagon, no choice in the matter.

I'd stay in my home as long as I possibly could. But when I couldn't do that anymore.......I dunno. I really like spending time with my daughters. I do love their husband's, even though Nichole's still has a tendency to grate on the nerves upon occasion. lol Yet I'm not so sure I'd want to live with them per se. It wouldn't be so bad since we do get along so well, but still, I wouldn't really want to put that onto them if I could help it.

If I go before husband, he's pretty much scr*wed where living with the kids are concerned. lol But that will be his problem, I won't be around to worry about it.

 

[seriously]

moron man....oh there have been so many that fit that description. love it

 

[donna723]

... or you could do what I'm doing. Find a tiny little house in a tiny little town where everything is cheaper. Then don't go anywhere and don't do anything that costs money. Become a virtual hermit like I did. Next best thing to living under a bridge like a troll!

 

[InsaneCdn]

ooooh speedily seductive. now that's a turn of phrase one doesn't see too often.

... unless you live in Europe?

 

[InsaneCdn]

Retirement plans?
Well, plan A was to get the kids a really good education, so they can afford to have us taken care of in our old age.... that got shot when we ended up with 2 difficult children and no other kids.

Plan B is to survive raising the kids and then...
B1 - we're so worn out that we won't be around, OR
B2 - we've got nothing left, so... hmmm... not really sure where we're going!

 

[Malika]

... unless you live in Europe?

What are you implying, Insane?!

 

[Shari]

I plan to just croak.

On a similar "manic funny bone" note, heard on a morning radio show...they were discussing a "cure" for death. They said that even if they did come up with a "cure", insurance wouldn't cover it, cause it would be a pre-existing condition.

 

[DammitJanet]

LMAO Shari...too cute.

I have always said saliva is deadly if taken in small quantities over a long period of time.

 

[gcvmom]

Just do what my inlaws are doing: Drop passively manipulative hints about your dissatisfaction with your situation so that your co-dependent children jump to orchestrate meeting your every need regardless of the financial impact on your grandchildren. It's worked beautifully for them their entire lives! I'm thinking this must surely be the way to go. Which means I am now free to squander my kids' college savings, the equity in my home, my retirement savings and anything else not nailed down so that I live the life to which I'd like to be accustomed.

No, you CAN'T have any of what I'm smoking.

 

[keista]

Well, I'm on the never retire track as well. HOWEVER I do have a few things I can HOPE for.

1 My kids actually do become financially successful and take care of me - son, at least has already told me he would.

2 My sisters pass before me - no kids, no husbands/boyfriends so what they have is going to me and my kids, BUT they have no kids or husbands/boyfriends which means they will outlive me by 20 years at least.