I. Am. About. To. Explode.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by klmno, Sep 25, 2009.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    difficult child called tonight. He's been a great kid toward me and doing well so I have NO reason to think his words were anything but true tonight. He told me that when the GAL talked to him before his court for sentencing, she told him he had two options because Residential Treatment Center (RTC) was out. She asked him if he wanted to go to Department of Juvenile Justice or to go live with his uncle (my bro). difficult child told her he did not want to live with his uncle so "he guessed he'd go to Department of Juvenile Justice".

    Now, not only does that witch with a capital B know the issue with my bro., not only was Residential Treatment Center (RTC) only out because she and the PO wouldn't advocate for it- only because I wanted it (in agreement with the mental health profs.) but the court before, the gal asked for social services telling the judge "maybe they can help get Residential Treatment Center (RTC)" and the judge asked "will dss work with the mother". The gal said "yes", the judge said "ok then, we will get dss called in". Then, when the dss lady called me, she told me point blank that if difficult child was turned over to them, she had no choice but to send him to my bro and that she felt sure the GAL knew that. So, next court date at sentencing, after difficult child says gal just spoke with him (and GAL did say in court that she'd just spoken with difficult child), gal tells judge "well, I guess there's no option but Department of Juvenile Justice- difficult child says he doesn';t want to live with his uncle and that's what dss has to do if he's turned over to them". The judge's eyes got big, she looked at me and GAL and said "I AM NOT going to do that". (Keep in m,ind here- both the judge and GAL know about the family issues.)

    It is becoming apparent to me that the GAL is underhandedly advocating for difficult child to go to dss where he will be sent to my bro.She's doing it under-handedly because she knows the judge is not in agreement. So, I think she's the one behind the PO's over-scrutinizing and twisting truths, knowing that eventually, after repeatedly telling the judge, "difficult child gets in trouble every time he goes home" that the judge will turn difficult child over to dss. That might sound paranoid, but it adds up to me. The gal is over at our PO area almost daily and acts like she's their attny in court instead of looking out for difficult child's best interest. Every parent over there notices all the CSU people being buddy-buddy.

    There are so many things I think back on now that have been said by GAL that make this obvious. It definitely explains a lot.

    Anyway, I told difficult child tonight after he told me this that it was never his option or the GAL's option- it was the judge's option and there was no way she was going to send him to live with someone else at that point. Now, my guess is that if he came home and re-offended again, he would be incarcerated again but then be turned over to dss and probably never live at home again.

    I hate that GAL. She is a knit-wit. She made issue in court over me doing something 25 years ago that she KNOWS my bro is doing daily (because he told her and dss- dss told me that he did), yet the GAL never told the judge my bro did it at all. Does that not show some bias? Does that sound like she has difficult child's best interest in mind?

    I think this is ALL about the intitial phone calls my bro made to gal- she bought it all and has been convinced ever since that I'm the cause of difficult child's problems and he should go to my bro. There are so many pieces of the puzzle that fit into place with that. I have heard too many things, too many times, and that witch lied in court and trashed me to the judge for no reason. She has to be at the root of it.
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2009
  2. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    I am SO sorry. Grrrrrr.............:mad: I wish there was a better solution. Can you get another GAL? Can you file a petition stating that she is incompetent?

    Many hugs.
  3. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    If you have all this GAL's mess documented, can you petition for another one as Steely asked? I'm not sure about the procedure for this, but it sounds like history is on your side. Sorry.

  4. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    If you move it would be quite possible to get difficult child returned to you in a new state with a new GAL. It really sounds like your best option.
  5. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    I was going to suggest what J3 suggested.....MOVE NOW.

    I'm so sorry klmno - i dont' think honesty is a job requirement when working as a GAL, not really. No way you can talk to your brother and ask him to refuse taking your son is there?
  6. ML

    ML Guest

    I think moving is probably the only solution here. Rent your house out and GO. I would say Colorado but it's the worst or second to worst state in the nation for mental health supports. I'm so sorry you and my board nephew are being put through the wringer.
  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I agree that moving is going to be the ONLY solution here. This GAL is out of control on her power trip. She is putting your son in danger.

    Moving is really the best choice. Your mortgage co might accept the house deed instead of future payments. You would have to find a place to live, but that might be an option to weigh as you look at options.

    I hope a great job out of state, Hawaii hopefully, and then difficult child can be transferred to a facility near you or released to your care pending things getting set up for him there.

    I am really thinking we need the posse to adjust the GAL's thinking.
  8. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Thanks, Ladies! I'll put more effort into moving than staying around here now for sure. It's amazing how many things I am remembering now that put this into place.

    No, Star, there is no way my bro would do that. He's on record with DSS as wanting difficult child under any circumstances and will fight for custody and will lie to get it.

    difficult child's last defense attny- a court appointment one- insinuated that the GAL was the reason a lot of things transpired the way they did. When we discussed some of her questionable tactics I asked him if I should file a complaint against her and he told me no because if I did she would fight me, ruin me, and make sure difficult child never came back home. (This obviously doesn't point to a person driven by what's in a child's best interest.) He said he knew her and I am sure that's true because they both let me know that they don't speak to each other except in legal situations where they have no choice.

    Anyway, he said my best hope was to put in a short request in writing right before difficult child's release asking the court to change the GAL "in order to get a fresh perspective" and leave it at that. I think it's a long shot that they would change the GAL but even if they did, it would be changed to someone she knows and works with so staying here and doing that is a last resort.

    I can EASILY picture the GAL telling a PO "they need this, this, and this, and don't let her get out of it no matter what". This would be why probation officer and her super stood fast by the "it's your (My) problem" position when all this cost me my job. This would explain why the new parol officer, when I was discussing with him that I couldn't meet all those requirements and keep a full time job so difficult child might have to go to a group home, he said "oh, well, you go discuss that with difficult child's GAL". Because GAL knows she's got DSS an arm's length away. And of course, difficult child going to DSS gets him straight to my bro without a custody case where the judge looks at which person is in the child's best interest.

    It's a real shame that DSS really does not have a choice even when a kid says he'd rather go to Department of Juvenile Justice or foster care than to live with this person, who isn't even a bio-parent, never lived near him, never helped support him or parent him, seen him about 10 times in his entire life, and hasn't even had contact with difficult child in over two years, which was difficult child's choice. But that's our wonderful state law. Now, since my bro is gay and living with a SO, he wouldn't qualify as being an option if he lived in this state because we have laws against that. But since he lives out of state, the DSS there would be the ones to approve him. That's ironic too because in his state, there are laws against a gay couple adopting a child but they are allowed to be foster parents.

    Moving scares me too though because at least the judge here gets it. She's just trying to find a happy medium between keeping difficult child out of DSS even when GAL pushes it and following CSU's recommendations- which is why we end up with continuous "monitoring", I think. So if we move to a new jurisdiction, what if difficult child gets in trouble and they only look at the file sent from CSU and turn difficult child straight over to their DSS? I think difficult child needs to understand that he has no room to get into trouble again if he's expecting to live at home until he's 18 yo. The advantage I guess, of moving is that the PO probably would be more reasonable about the parole requirements and coordinating them with my job. They probably would be more apt to listen if I said we were having a hardship at home. So, it should give difficult child a better chance to stay out of trouble.
    Last edited: Sep 26, 2009