I called 911 last week re my 20 yo. Looking for support and suggestions going forward


Trying to keep the story together in one thread

On August 25 I updated in a separate thread which I will copy here , and then post the new update... where he still is making some progress but also had a major fallback setback relapse.

August 25 22:
“The new job is going well.

It is very structured, and very physical. 8 hours (or more if overtime) of physically demanding labor, mostly outdoors. which seems helpful at this stage.

He looks happy going off to work even having to get up for graveyard shift !

He did not get enough sleep last night, but I am hoping that tonight more tiredness tonight will help that.

He discovered a classmate from school there, now ahead of him in the job hierarchy. They weren’t friends especially in school but seem to be becoming so on the job. A good thing in my opinion since the other young man would have been a much better influence than the kids my Son tended to gravitate toward up to this point.

It seems to be helping to add some genuine self respect and far better behavior to get up and go do a man’s job amongst men.

I am continuing to pray. “


New update:

The good:
He continued to do well with work and got a promotion to a physically easier position ( in which he started putting on some weight for first time in life) that pays better and started early morning instead of graveyard shift .

He was seeing a girl in an apparently budding relationship type way.

He was doing a real estate online study course (though not very diligently), and talking about classes in business or toward electric training after work at community college.

With the promotion he got himself a wonderful new Subaru that he loved and which would be reliable for getting to work, classes, and good for camping

The bad:
He started hanging with his old marijuana friends crowd again.

On Thanksgiving evening he crashed and totaled his brand new wonderful vehicle. And apparently hit another vehicle. And now has legal issues of duii, reckless driving, reckless endangerment to contend with.

He is still working and doing well at work.

However he otherwise seems to be on more of a downward course than he was as of early Tgiving day, and in some denial about the potential seriousness of the charges and penalties.

He also keeps losing things such as his wallet and all that’s in it.

He is not being awful in behavior toward me like when I called 911 as this thread began ... but not great either.

The return to using violated what he had agreed to when coming back home, but I did not kick him out given it was winter weather, he did not even have a car then to use, and it seemed that keeping the basics of life and his excellent job together are critical for him to possibly emerge into a decent functioning adult man.


An added observation in reading my older posts:

The work promotion had one negative aspect perhaps which was it moved him to a new physical location, and a position with his own little office, much more socially and emotionally isolated than the original work crew where he was in a group of 5 or so guys on the job, and had started to make friends with the better influence former classmate.


Well-Known Member
I’m thrilled that he got promoted and likes the job. The weight gain could be from smoking pot. It makes people very hungry. I hope he’s serious about taking classes and decides to do it.