I dont know if I have updated on difficult child and his docs

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by DammitJanet, Aug 30, 2013.

  1. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well he went to the ortho doctor the other day and they checked him out. My little medical information sheet was a big help so he said. They gave him a cortisone shot in his neck and that seems to have been of some help in the last couple of days.

    They have also set up an appointment to do a complete spine and cervical MRI on 9/8 because we all really need to see everything much more clearly.

    He also finally got his referral to the pain management clinic and has an appointment on 9/5. He is going to the same place I go. Thankfully we dont have the same last name.

    I hope all this helps.

    I am going to try talking to him and try to convince him that he would be better off to have the local agency that will pay him to go to school help him that way because he will never be able to do physical work in this condition.
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am glad the medical info helped. It would be a good idea for you to go to his ortho appts with him if at all possible. I know you have been sick and that it is hard to travel, but having someone there really is helpful for both doctor and patient. This is esp true on a long term problem that started in childhood. You know the answers to questions that no one else does because you are The Mom.

    There is something called Emotional Intelligence and it can drop suddenly when we are under stress. Studies show that this can be more important than your IQ when you are in stressful situations, esp those with a short time and a lot of info to impart and receive. This is why MANY people do not use medications or other medical items/instructions appropriately. They are so stressed that they truly do not understand or remember what the doctor said or what they said to the doctor. Having someone with you to take notes during the appointment, even if this person never says a single word or makes a sound, drastically improves the quality and appropriateness of your medical care and in how you communicate with the doctor. Having your mom or someone who is familiar iwth your medical history, current problems, and other critical info about your life and lifestyle increases the success of your care immensely. It has been years since I saw studies on this, but the increase was truly impressive.

    If you are able to go and Youngest is willing, it would likely be very helpful to the doctor and to Youngest as they go about helping him through this. If he won't let anyone go into the exam room with him, please have him record the appointment on his phone or whatever voice recorder you can find. It will help him gain as much function and freedom from pain as is possible.

    Be aware that tobacco use increases the amt of time it takes bone to heal. Any surgery on bones will likely heal at the slow end of the recovery range and NOT the fast end. I have had 2 surgeons who refused to do spinal surgery on smokers due to this. It is becoming more and more common for docs to be less willing to operate on smokers who refuse to even try to quit during the period before and during the healing process, at least here and where we used to live.

    I would stay away from his pain doctor appts, or at least don't go in with him if you think it will cause problems. Your pain clinic is scary to me, but it is what is available. At least youngest got an appointment, which can be very hard to do at his age. Be sure to ask for a handicap sticker for him. It will likely be helpful.

    (((((hugs))))) to all of you. It is hard to see your baby in pain (no matter how old he is) and it is hard to be in pain and have to move back home, esp with a rocky relationship with your dad. I hope this can bring a new and better relationship between youngest and husband.
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I would have gone with him but his appointment was at the exact same time as I had to get Monkey to gymnastics. I have to pick her up every Tuesday at about 2:45 and then get her to the gym by 3:30. Its about 15 miles away. I didnt know the exact time to go last Tuesday because Monkey's mom told me to be there at 3 and I was so far back in the line I just parked on the side of the road and walked to go get her...lol. I would have never got through that line.

    Monkey has gymnastics every Tuesday from 3:30 to 5:30. I have to keep one of her leotards in the car so she can change when she gets there. You should see her in the backseat of my car taking out her earrings and putting her hair up...lol