I guess it is time to write it out.....sigh

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by busywend, Jan 11, 2013.

  1. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    So easy child/difficult child is about to get those acronyms reversed! Seems like she is spiraling in this chaos...and it is putting a rock in my stomach.

    Money issues, boyfriend issues, speeding tickets (about to get license suspended) and trouble at work...almost lost her job last week....it is taking its toll....ON ME. She seems to not be so worried.

    I know there are worse things.....but gosh how i just want to slap some sense into this girl! Argh! Just venting.....
  2. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I am right there with you. The knot in my stomach is gnawing at me.
  3. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I know you are Nancy.....i was feeling it when I responded to your last post. I cant stand that they have not a care in the wolrd and we are getting ulcers!
  4. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Geez BW, I'm sorry, I know that rock in the stomach stuff. Go have a facial or a massage or a manicure/pedicure, sometimes those nurturing things help a little bit in those crummy moments. I had a facial yesterday and although my life was still waiting for me when I got out, I was SO relaxed and felt great!!! ((((HUGS))))
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

    HEY, I noticed that there are relaxation apps ...wonder if they work. But seriously, I'm really sorry you have to see her go through this. It must be like hanging onto cliff, fingers slipping.....I read your and Nancy's posts and just feel desperate for you though I know you need to try to step back and let go, I personally can't fully imagine that. We do what we have to do though, right? I hope she wakes up soon, maybe her lack of concern is really denial big time and if she faces a true consequence she will straighten up (hoping the easy child part is stronger here....smile).
  6. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Went to dinner with hubby and bff. It was relaxing and fun.

    She texted me that she is feeling overwhelmed. I told her to come over sunday and we would come up with a plan to fix these issues. Finger crossed she does not bail on us.

    I know she could be out drinking or drugging and I am so thankful somehow we avoided those so far. But, the erie reminder of the compulsiveness of her actions......sends shivers, ya know?
  7. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    I understand perfectly.

    Every time difficult child leave the house except when he's going to work, I cringe and hold my breath.
  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    I hope she doesn't bail.
  9. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I remember the gnaw of fear very clearly. Really you seem to be doing well keeping in touch with the normal world while trying to guide her. Protect your health for the benefit of your family. Hugs DDD
  10. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    I hope your meeting goes well tomorrow. eeping everything crossed. -RM
  11. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    Coming in late here but just offering support to you. Years ago we used to say...."calgon take me away"....I haven't seen this said lately so I'm going to revive it! ;) I know it doesn't fix it but maybe dreaming of a nice relaxing, stress free bubble bath in a dreamy BIG tub with a book (or a wash cloth over the eyes) and what ever else you choose or nothing will take you to another place for a while? (hugs)
  12. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh Busy, I had hoped she had sorta started to learn to roll with the punches. Maybe its just a temporary lapse in judgement. Sometimes we all have a backslide or 3. The world gets to feeling so hard and it just seems like the only way to deal with it is to revert back to patterns that seemed to work in the bad old days. A few natural consequences will teach her that the bad old days are today not back then and these wont be things she wont want to repeat anytime soon..

    Much as we want to save them from themselves, sometimes all we can do is sit there and listen. You have no idea how badly I want to rush in and fix everything for Cory right now. I know I cant though. ugh...biting my tongue is causing huge sores in my mouth.
  13. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Wend, it is always worrisome that the other shoe will drop. I hope the fact that she has had success will encourage her to get back on the road to good choices.
    I understand the feeling of gut wrenching anxiety.
  14. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    She showed up! Late...but so what! We talked and she kept saying she did not want to talk about it anymore. I read that as 'it is no big deal' so I kept talking....she cried....my poor girl...she is a mess about this. But, that was actually a good sign. She knows the seriousness of it all. Phew/whew! We had her favorite dinner (chicken french) and she painted my nails. It was a nice night after the bad conversations took place. We assured her we are here to help where we can as long as she is helping herself. Thanks for letting me put this out there...it helped!
  15. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Its good that she is upset. Its bad when they think its no big deal. I knew we were turning a corner when Cory would come to my house just to touch base when he was feeling overwhelmed. He didnt need me to actually fix something but he need to see me and feel me so he wouldnt go off and do something stupid.