I assume most people here know how I have tried to defend myself against a highly dysfunctional family, legal people, etc. They thought, and my family at least still do think, that I'm just a weirdo. Now trust me here- my family was treating me this way from my earliest memories- long before any traumatic event. It was started by my mother believe it or not and justified everyone treating me "differently". I won't go into all of it but that negative feeling toward me has always been there. Nothing would make my mother and bro happier than for me to be diagnosis as a sociopath - I don't want to go into all of it, but I was locked in a closet as a child because "I would get in the way" otherwise. So here I have fought all that, rightly so I still believe. However, after reading some more about PTSD because I was trying to find something for a thread by another person in General, I am now learning that even though my childhood trauma was dealt with, the fact that I have PTSD might very well have caused difficult child's issues. I don't know what to do. The court appointed MH evaluator I had said he thought I had depression and Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). I knew it wasn't Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). So I defended myself against that. But I never came forward with the PTSD. In his evaluation, he said I exhibited PTSD symptoms in the past. I can tell the difference just because of the way this plays out in my life. I had no idea that even though major PTSD symptoms are gone, it can still effect your child in a major way. And the ways? Behavior problems, among others. Now what do I do? I can't get a MH prof to back this up in order to file an appeal for difficult child's sentence in time- they have to be appealed within 10 days of court and the appeal is only supposed to be if you think the original judge erred and he really didn't. I can't even get access to a flipping VA therapist who specializes in this anywhere in the near future. They first told me I would have an outpatient stabilization therapist while on a waiting list for a PTSD therapist, then I was told nope- it had to be the first therapist I saw there who frankly, I wouldn't trust to diagnosis Hitler. I don't know what to do. It HAS been me- just not for the reasons they all thought it was. I knew those reasons didn't add up, that's why I fought against them. But THIS does add up. But I don't know how to prove it. I don't know what I can do to help difficult child now with this sentence. It isn't fair for him to go thru this if there really is something else that was never considered by anyone as being the cause of the problem. As an example- my bro showed clear signs of crossing boundaries and doing inappropriate things and leading my son to something bad in one way or another. My family tried to claim paranoia and "rights" that they had. I fought against that and won. I still think I was right to do so. What these articles are saying is that this wasn't the problem- the problem was the way my son interpreted my rage over it, my fear I exhibited, etc, because the child doesn't understand where all this is coming from and they think there is something wrong with them (the child his/herself). So I think it has been me- not due to paranoia, unjustified concern, etc, but because my child didn't understand the real family issues. I had thought he was way too young to explain all this- and they don't recommend going into detail. TG! I had thought the only benefit in telling the family hx was to let the child know he needed to protect himself and guard against future family abuse toward him and his future children. I had thought it was better for the child not to know how sick this family really was. Nope- it's so the child won't blame themselves when the parent flips over the signs they see that things are getting out of hand or whatever. Does that make sense to anyone? I don't know if I'm articulating this very well or not. I could call PO and def attny and tell them this, but with a therapist backing me up, it just makes me look like a bigger nut. The only other thing I know to do is to keep pushing for a PTSD therapist at VA, then let them coordinate with a therapist where difficult child will be in Department of Juvenile Justice. (difficult child would still have to do his sentence of 1-2 years probably). But then again, as long as difficult child is controlled by the juvenile courtts, we can only get a family therapist to do behavior mod. That won't solve the problem. VA was going to give us family therapy and get into more '"real" issues, but difficult child didn't stay out of juvie long enough. *SIGH* Given all that has happened, is it better for me to try to get difficult child out based on this or do I use the time he's in there to work further on myself and hope they can do more good for him this time than they did last time? Orr have I just driven myself in a circle- previous psychiatrists in difficult child's phosps did know I had intensive therapy before but they didn't know specifics. They recommended Residential Treatment Center (RTC) with intensive therapy (individual for difficult child and family) before difficult child came home. Would pushing this be another route down this road, only for difficult child not to get it again? Am I just trying to rescue him at this point?