I just needed to visit my friends

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by sooooo tired, Mar 31, 2020.

  1. sooooo tired

    sooooo tired soooootired

    Alot has happened in the last couple of years. I got married to a wonderful man on 9/28/19. Which was really a gift from god. My problems with my older daughter still exist. I havent seen or spoken to her in close to 3 years. Sometimes it's a relief and sometimes it's my nightmare. I feel I will never be able to have a relationship with her but the worst of it is i dont see my grandson anymore. It got harder and harder to get him so i just gave up. My heart breaks because I feel like he thinks I abandoned him and he dont understand. But my way of protecting myself from all the drama and hurt is to just detach myself from the situation. I know in my daughters mind it will always be my fault but I love my husband and I dont want to let all the drama back in. I just want to be happy and enjoy my life. My other 2 adult children are wonderful blessings to me. I am thankful for that. It just will always feel incomplete to me. I know my eldest has turned my 4 grandkids against me with her warped memories from the past. I dont have the strength to fight anymore. I just have to let go and let god.....I hope you are all doing well. Have a blessed day.
     
  2. Overwhelmed1

    Overwhelmed1 Active Member

    Tired, God Bless you. I am right there with you. I am so happy you found someone who loves you and is there for you.
    I won't be seeing my grandkids again and it is fresh so I know exactly how you feel thinking your grandkids won't know the real you.
    We can hang in there together.
    I pray you have a good day with no worries.
     
  3. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    So sorry ladies. I'm glad you found happiness sooo tired.

    Agree we just have to let God handle the things that we cannot control.

    All of the grandchildren won't be little forever. Hopefully you can have a relationship with all of them at some time. That is what I would hold on to.

    Keep the faith!
    :happyguy:
     
  4. sooooo tired

    sooooo tired soooootired

     
  5. JayPee

    JayPee Sending good vibes...

    ST,
    I haven't seen my older son in 8 months because that's what I had to do for my well-being, so I get what you're going through. I don't have grand kids, however, I have seen some things in my life that I never thought would ever happen...happen.

    So, I truly believe in the saying..."never say never". It may take years, but things might just have a way of working themselves out.

    Let life change your daughter right now and "hopefully" in time there will be a reconciliation where both of you will be able to reciprocate in a healthy, loving, relationship so it will be long-lasting and fruitful. If you were to get together and things were still strained and broken, it wouldn't likely last very long.
     
  6. louise2350

    louise2350 Active Member

    St: I haven't seen my granddaughter from my d.d. in five years. Her disconnection with me began over a minor thing and just grew with her. I don't try to figure it out anymore as it's a waste of time and energy for me. I have three children - two whom I see regularly along with my four beautiful grandchildren from them. I haven't seen my grandchild from this d.d. since she was a newborn - 5 years ago. I've learned just to enjoy what I have and leave the rest in God's hands. I've told this d.d. that I love her and that my door is always open to her. If she wants to get in touch with me she knows I'll be here, but I've learned from all of this to be careful and not let her hurt me again. She's never been violent towards me or anyone, but she has a drinking problem and I know that affects her reasoning and judgment. At least I have my two other children and four other grandchildren and I'm thankful for that. I truly hope things get better for you and am glad that you found a good man to share your life with. The group of people in this forum are very wise and helpful as they've been through it all and understand. Take care of yourself.
     
    Last edited: Mar 31, 2020