I Must Be Crazy

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Hound dog, Jun 17, 2009.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I haven't talked to my heroine addicted best friend in months. Just got to the point where I couldn't listen to the "but I want to be clean" while in the next breath she admitted to selling her saboxone (sp) to continue to shoot up.

    I just have major issues watching someone I love slowly killing themselves.:mad:

    She called me yesterday. She usually calls me when she's sober either for another shot at getting clean, or no money to buy. For months I've not been picking up the phone. Last night I did.

    Same old song and dance. She asked me to please come and see her and we set a time for tonight.

    So......... I did. I haven't seen her in person in ages. OMG she looks awful.:(

    This woman has no money. Is living off of welfare and very little child support. And I kid you not her mother is going to enable her to death. Her mother actually gives her 40 bucks a day to do heroine!! Cuz she thinks it's better than the god only knows what amount the many more hits a day that friend was doing before. While friend uses the script drugs she gets from the psychiatrist to sell to buy more of the heroine.

    Not having a clue why I was doing it, I went over tonight.

    I am not at all nice about her addiction or behavior related to the addiction. I don't mince words. I don't sugar coat anything. We talked for a long time. Friend is always honest, and I always know way more than I ever really want to know about a person's drug addicted life.

    Friend still swears she wants to be clean. It scares her to death, but she wants it. Can't go to her family because while they treat her like scum under their shoe, they also hand her money they know will be spent on more drugs. A vicious cycle and honestly I don't believe they'll ever get a clue.

    The only "help" she's getting is thru county mental health and as far as addiction goes........they hoover. Her group therapist for addiction has them doing Anger Management, they never talk about their addiction. Never.

    So I told Friend if she is serious, she'll go to an NA meeting with me. Sunday night 7:30pm right down the street from her. Friend said if I will go with her, she'll go. No backing out.

    I've been trying to get her to go since last year. Told her I'd go every week if she'd go with me.

    Friend said yes.

    I'm not getting my hopes up.

    She wanted to call her Mom and tell her. I told her NO. This is between her and me. Why call the person who is not only enabling you to use and sabotaging you and tell them? What's the point? Told Friend she can't do this for me, can't do it for her Mom, her family, nor even her boys, has to be because this is what she wants to do to save herself. Told her that I know every disgusting, dispicable, low life thing she's ever done (and omg I do!) and I still think she is worth saving. That as long as she tries, I'll be right beside her 100 percent giving her moral support.

    I don't know if she'll make it. But if she goes with me sunday it will be a step in the right direction.

    This woman has lived thru hades on earth. Her soon to be ex is a bonafide psychopath who spent 14 plus years doing whatever he could think of to distroy Friend. Now that she is all but dead in his opinion, he's moved on to the next victim. This on top of a very traumatic childhood. So she has other issues to deal with other than just the drugs.

    I hope she makes it. Clean and sober and away from her ex she is an amazing person.

    So if she's willing, looks like my sunday nights will be booked from here on out.

    Like I said, I must be crazy. But my gut tells me if I don't reach out now, she may be dead by next year.