I need to get over this

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by dreamer, Apr 14, 2008.

  1. dreamer

    dreamer New Member

    Yeesh. SO a bunch of schools near my sons and difficult children docs are....are closed today due to threats.
    I was able to shrug it off, mostly, cuz well, cannot let the fear run my life, I know that- and it IS some easier for me cuz I only have 1 of 3 kids IN school right now. And truth is my 2 that are NOT in school were not removed becuz of school violence in the typical sense.....(more becuz of them being targeted for their disabilities, by district)
    But, I guess we have just had too many too close calls too close to us, our little circle of extended family/friends etc lately, between the mall shooting, the mall that blew up----NIU.......

    Well, I was hanging in pretty good, goodness knows I have plenty of other things to keep me busy, LOL. Not much time to dwell on "what if's"- too busy always dealing with the crisis of the moment, LOL, ya know?

    So tonite I went to this thing---me and difficult child have been doing it several months, at our local police dept. Usually we leave there chuckling becuz our communities idea of "big crime" that we KNOW really IS occureing -um....that is NOT what some of the other peoples idea of our "big crime" is. Um, I mean we KNOW first hand- partly from being victims and pratly cuz of the time I spend at courthouse.....we DOhave uglier crime that anyone would ever guess to come visit here casually. Sadly the county police will confirm that, and will confirm that it is kept out of media...brushed under the rug, and more sadly, local police do not have a good track record in court. Their cases always wind up being dragged out for years.and then quietly dropped for lack of evidence.
    BUT the people who go to this thing- their idea of Big Crime is ----well, me and difficult child LOL all the time-----the people HATE jaywalkers. They HATE people who actually SIT on the park benches. They actually do call police if they see someone taking a walk or sitting in our town square, even mid day! They demand our police drug dog to come when they call for illegally parked cars!
    BUT tonite, they DID touch on school violence, and when they first said it- my heart cringed, and my eyes teared. I had been holding up about this topic for a long time......but I noticed recently it has begun to affect me much stronger.
    So I just was channel hopping on TV, and UG! As I past the news----<sigh> they were discussing schools closed this week here due to major threats- semi related to ones in the city....incccludeing the neighborhood where me and son must go Sun/Mon/Tues for sons next appointment (where son goes to university hospital). Then they were speaking of a local school here, now also closed due to threats.
    Well, THAT was not enough...LOL- of course not, becuz as so many of us know- when it rains it pours. Thank goodness for me for this time it is just my sensitivies and nothing more-LOL- BUT that cougar I posted to warn someone at the message boards about recently, over by the military base where I go often, and husband goes often.....well, tonite they shot and killed a cougar, not by the military base, but more closer to ---the univ where I am taking son Sun/Mon/Tues.

    ROFL- How diverse is THAT? Malls, schools and cougars? LOL.

    I also had a lil prickle today of fear.I am HOPING Hard nothing "weird" occurs at where difficult child was working until today.....becuz.....I am suddenly afraid of .....people getting nervous becuz of her diagnosis and label as bipolar. IF something weird happens there? will they quickly jump and think it was HER cuz of her being fired? and becuz of her diagnosis of bipolar?
    My gooodness what a weird thing to jump in my head! But there it is!

    Now my difficult child might carry a diagnosis of bipolar, BUT she also carries diagnosis of agoraphobia...and social anxiety, and she does not leave the house easily AT ALL, and hasn't in a few YEARS, and except for this job- she has only left WITH me, and even goes to restroom WITH me if I need to go when we ARE out. She does not drive, has no license......so "I" know she is not gonna go anywhere......but - if something happens there, will THEY know and understand and believe? She is VERY VERY non confrontational, self harms rather than lashes out.

    SO my brief brush with todays nitely news? UG! Once again it was just too much too close to home, too SCARY for me----how ironic, a Stephan King Fan.....yet I cannot handle the local news, anymore! My goodness!

    Oh and- very sad, they wound up killing the cougar, becuz it was IN the city.......6 PM- lovely weather, (FINALLY) and TONS of people finally outside......and the cougar lunged. VERY very sad. So- on top of it I am gonna hafta hide the paper tomorrow from difficult child becuz she is VERY sensitive and very much in love with animals, and her heart will break even more. Heck, this kid of mine, a cougar could rip off her arms and she would STILL tell you not to hurt the cougar.........

    How dumb, we seldom go to malls, I have only 1 kid still in any school......and yet it still freaks me out.
    I really need to get past it. Yeesh. Like I donot already have enough to be dealing with with the day to day.

    My goodness, what a world out there!

    OK, whew, venting it helped, sorry.
    So- Be Safe out there people!

    (now I think I will go tuck all my lovely kids in their beds, give them an extra kiss......go cuddle each of our family pets an extra time.......go take refuge in doing my nitely loa of laundry, LOL(see this mornings good morning thread, LOL) and maybe stop to talk tomy plant before I snuggle up in my bed. Tomorrow is a new day, and I washed all thebirdfeders up nice yesterday, and saw a cardinal dureing dinner. Maybe it will be out my morning window when I have my coffee. :)
    Thank you for letting me get it out. yeesh.
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Wow, Dreamer- you have a lot on your plate right now. If I wasn't so tired and about to drop I would write more. But, I do want to offer ((HUGS))- you and your daughter are obviously very good, sensitive people and it's tough to have to deal with others and life in general when you're in the minority of the the "caring people". Hang in there- my step-father used to say to me that being a wise and caring person didn't make life easier, it actually made it harder because you have to deal with those who aren't that way.
  3. skeeter

    skeeter New Member

    Dreamer - a piece of advice, and I really don't mean to sound callus.....

    Stop reading the paper and watching and listening to the news. Seriously, "if it bleeds it leads" is the mantra of our media. You very rarely hear the "good news" stories, but there are many out there. You hear the horror stories (over and over and over and over) mainly because they are horror.

    I'm not saying to bury your head in the sand, but to insulate yourself from a constant barrage of this stuff. If something really bad happens that needs your attention, believe me, you'll find out about it. The things you cannot do much about just don't deserve your being worried about them.

    I never watch TV news. The only reason I have the radio on is for traffic reports. I "selectively" read news on the internet, but purposely skip over many of the horror stories because they get me too upset (mad, usually, that people are so stupid).