I should have known better...

[Shari]

Bought cgfg's school pictures this year. Actually bought 2 packages, enough for the family. Thought I'd be all smart and write down the packages I paid for both on my check, and keep a copy of my order, so maybe this year, we'd actually get out pictures. In the past, her mom takes what she wants and gives us the leftovers, so I usually never ordered more than a really basic package and we take her elsewhere to get pictures done.

This year, I felt it would be easier to just buy the school pictures. I wrote a check for $50 for 2 packages of pictures, enough for all the grandmas, aunts, and uncles that usually want them.

She brought us a 5x7, 2-3x5's, and 9 of the tiny wallets. Purty pricey pictures. And of course her mom won't answer us.

I should have known better. The stupid senseless junk just drives me batty.

 

[DammitJanet]

Yep....idiocy.

I stopped doing school pics quite early too. Pricey for lousy pics. I used to get the class pics but somewhere along the way I stopped those too.

I got the Walmart Easter and Xmas ones because they were 6 months apart for my kids since you did the Xmas ones in Nov really.

Now with Keyana I actually only do one set a year now at a professional place. I try to get one of all 3 of the kids in it but its been tough going to get all 3 in it. I go to a place called Portrait Innovations that is fantastic. They shoot tons of pics in tons of poses on the floor with all kinds of backdrops. They let the kids just wander around and catch them in the act. Really good for little kids. You pick the ones you want and they are done in just a few minutes and if you get so many prints, you get a disk with all the pics on it. Really good deal.

 

[Shari]

Since it was a fight to get her mom to get pictures, we just quit banking on buying much. IF she let us be involved in the order to begin with, we just got to where we bought the smallest, cheapest package, just so we had a copy of her school picture. We'd get basically what was left when her mom got done with them. Then we'd go someplace and get "good" pics taken, anyway.

This year, with all that's going on, and its been a few years since we tried to order anything more than the basic package, I thought I'd save myself some work. Hahaha. Now I either have to con photos from her mom, take it back to the portrait place and say they didn't print what I ordered, or just eat $50.

I'll probably just eat $50.

Should just be so simple...

 

[Marguerite]

You are the one who paid for them, can't you go to the school and say, "I have not received the photos I paid for."? And when you order them next, make it clear that you personally will collect them from the school and sign for them.

letting go of this is allowing cGFG's mother to think this is OK< and it also lets cGFG think that this is OK. And it is not. It sends a very bad message that in life, you are there to be walked over. And when you want cGFG to treat you with respect, how can she know, if you don't require others to respect boundaries?

Marg

 

[Shari]

You're right.

I'll never get them from her mom, she thinks nothing of lying thru her teeth, and having cgfg participate to cover her. But I can go to the portrait place and hand them the envelope and the photos. The envelope says what should be in it, which is 2 packets, but there is only one.

And if I bother to buy school portraits in the future, I'll pick them up and have the secretary confirm what I take. Big if. Cgfg loves to have her pictures taken and wants everyone and their brother to have one. Just not bothering to buy any seems like a reasonable enough solution all the way around.

 

[susiestar]

Marg has EXCELLENT points. There is no real reason to allow this. Cgfg is more than aware that her mom does this. How is she to learn it is wrong? Start with school. Go up, or call, and tell them that you ordered X and Y packages and have NOT received them. Show them your check and the receipt you kept. Tell them you don't know who they were sent to or why, but you want them ASAP. Make sure cgfg knows that you are starting this. If you need to, tell the school that if they sent them to someone else and that person kept them that it is theft and NOT YOUR PROBLEM. It is the school's problem.

When stuff comes up with the judge this also needs to be mentioned. Cgfg's mother just stole $50 from you as surely as if she walked up and took it out of your wallet. Are you REALLY fine with letting her do this to "keep the peace"? HOw is your step daughter to think it is not okay to steal from you and walk all over you when her mom does this with impunity? For that matter, how are your husband and even Wee to learn that you will stand up for yourself if you continue to let this woman stomp you into the dirt?

Heck, maybe next picture day you should just give cgfg's mom the $$ for the pictures??? Isn't allowing her to do this the exact same thing??

At some point you have to stand up for yourself Shari. It is important - not just for you but also for your children. How will they grow up to be parents who are the kind of people you want raising your grandkids if they see this kind of example of parenting all the time. we really DO grow up to be our parents, or the opposite of our parents. You do a LOT of things very much right, but you are very much too willing to let people walk all over you with-o any complaints or demands for respect from you. Is that REALLY the person you want to be?

Email cgfg's mother to say that if you do not get exactly what you ordered (and list everything), then you will make a stink with the school and the picture people so big they will remember it forever.

Hugs. You can do this!

 

[Shari]

Oh I dont do it to keep the peace...not this, anyway. If I do nothing its cause I have bigger fish to fry than fight over cgfg's pictures. I think its creepy how proud she is of herself, anyway.

Cgfg's mom? She's stole a trailer. Her entire child support application to get support on cgfg was a fraud. She collected support for 10 years on her other kid she didn't even have. She's not gonna care about $50 pictures. I emailed, called, and texted. No response to any, and I doubt we'll get any response to it.

Yeah, cgfg knows her mom does it. She can either step in and do what she can to make it right, or she can be like her mom. Difference being she wont have her precious pictures to give to 2brooms or any of the other family or hang in our living room. And frankly, that's no skin off my back. Seems like a pretty logical consequence to me. And next year, I just won't get them. In fact, she has an order form for softball pictures tonight. I said "nope, not speding the money on those. Didn't participate with the team (that situation did not get any better) and I probably won't get them, anyway." husband, independently, said the same thing.

 

[Shari]

Just sitting here talking to husband about it, found some fine print about how to ask for a refund, so that's what I'm going to do. The pics aren't that good, anyway.

Won't take any time to do, I write a note and stick it on the picture envelope, tell them we didn't get what we ordered and we don't like them anyway, she won't be here for retakes, we want a refund, and mail it off.

 

[Hound dog]

I stopped buying the school pics when the older 2 kids were like in the 2nd grade. It was easier, simpler, and way cheaper to take them to walmart and get their pictures done.

Now before I wised up........our schools here have a deal for two household kids. For like 5 more bucks you could actually duplicate the normal package so that each parent had the same amt of pics to dole out to family and friends. Since I'm a cheap sake at heart.......I'd buy this package just so I felt like I was getting my money's worth........because omg school pics here were expensive!

 

[Shari]

They are expensive here, too. And usually not very good.

You can't tell me she doesn't know what was in that envelope, either. She loves her photos. Taking it up with the school or her mother will take time I dodn't have or want to waste on either of them. Returning them? Situation solved for this year.

For next year? We'll just stick with the "no thanks" route or the $5 package that gives us a 3x5 and 6 wallets or whatever it is.

 

[AnnieO]

Back when Onyxx and Jett lived with BM, husband and I scoured the online calendars, talked to the schools, etc. to get school pictures. And we didn't get any at all for Onyxx through 4th grade, and Jett for K. But the teachers and admin staff caught on quickly. So they would hold our sets in the office.

Then, the first year they were with us, BM went to Onyxx's school and demanded both sets of pictures. Secretary called husband and the cops, since BM insisted she get our envelope too - and the secretary at middle school is no fool. That was the same year she sent Jett's pictures back, because he didn't smile BIG (not bad otherwise), and the retakes were truly awful. The face he made was priceless. So she complained to the court that we told Jett to make the face. OMG. I think he was just fed up!

So now - kids give pictures to us. We send Jett out the door with her packages, not going to stoop to her level. She never bothers to buy for Onyxx any more.

 

[TerryJ2]

Oh, Shari, what a hassle. But it would be great if you had the time and energy to keep up with-this woman's deceit. I hope you follow through with-the pics.
StepTo2, LOL! I love the face.

 

[Shari]

Note written to school, cancelled check (that states packages ordered) copied (love online banking), original order copied, ENTIRE PACKET copied for my records, and in the mail and off they go...

Does nothing to cgfg's mom, but I'm not going to change her, anyway. Cgfg won't have her photos to give out here. Sad for her to be in this position, but...sorry.

And on we go in the world.

 

[susiestar]

Sounds like a good way to handle it. That woman is beyond belief.

Today is picture day for thank you. Our school has an option to get a ruler, door hanger, lanyard tag, etc... that are laminated plastic. They are outrageous, but they are the only part thank you likes. So we bought a cheap package and this option (cheaper to get the cheapest package and this than to get this alone), and he is thrilled. He is esp happy because this year they have the college logo on the optional stuff. He actually offered to pay for that part if we wanted him to. Of course we didn't let him, but it was sweet to offer.

 

[Marg's Man]

They are expensive here, too. And usually not very good.

We gave up buying school photos years ago except for the older kids' graduation class pictures.

easy child 2/difficult child 2 is gorgeous, a real beauty, but the school photographers could make even her look dowdy.

We often commented that it takes a special kind of talent to take photos THAT bad!!!


Marg's Man

 

[Marguerite]

Just to add to husband's post - easy child 2/difficult child 2 is beautiful, although when a baby she looked like a Cabbage Patch kid. She has worked as an actress and photographic model, but her best paying gig actually "uglified " her. They wanted a kid with braces for the photo shoot. She had clear braces (so she wouldn't miss out on too much photographic work - cost us extra, and then she never got the work while she had braces except for this gig). They wanted her hair done in tight braids, and she wore her reading glasses. She looks a lot younger always, she looked about ten years old (she was almost 16 at the time). Then they used a wide angle lens to take the photo.

When they Photoshopped the images, they made her braces look like the heaviest metal, they painted in a lot more freckles and then made her nose look wide and bulbous. They were a professional ad agency and had to spend a lot of money and work hard, to make her look ugly. It made for a brilliant ad (not sure if it's available online any more) which won a Gold Lion at Cannes. No, she didn't get more than a basic fee for one hour's work.

That was about the time we stopped paying for school photos - that same year, the school photographer managed to get pretty much the same result as the expensive ad agency. And easy child 2/difficult child 2's best friends, both of them even more beautiful than our girl, had to have their photos re-done, they were so bad.

I think to take photos this bad, takes real anti-talent.

Marg

 

[Shari]

lol...you guys are funny, but I have to agree. For the most part, they do tend to hoover.