I was all prepared, but

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by helpme, May 1, 2010.

  1. helpme

    helpme New Member

    I wasn't expecting difficult child's phone call to go the way it went.
    I had responses already in my head, but didn't have to use a
    single one of them.

    He called to see what I was doing for his birthday, since his father
    couldn't do anything for him, he thought I would, since his dad just
    dropped 1k on a lawyer (of the 5k).
    My reply-I said I think he did do something for your birthday.

    I made very few financial deals with difficult child, and they ended on his
    18th birthday and the Christmas following it (money from my parents
    and gparents-who now ended the "aid" as well, due to the kids
    not calling to thank them).
    You were warned to call and say thank you or the $ would cease

    I did call mom.

    A few months back.
    A few years ago a few months back you did.

    after the silence-Are you was working?
    innocently-So you are using people for a place to live?

    No how are you doing, no how is my sister, no cares, and general
    mass confusion on the vehicle and place he was calling from.

    What else?

    Stated that he now had the mother and daughter who alleged
    about him "drugging" the daughter and "talking smack to the mom"
    blocked (from FB) and out of his life.

    Admitted talking smack to mom, but said he did nothing to the girl
    (in regards to her being drugged and raped)

    Oh and as far as the mothers day ordeal (me, STBX, and the two
    girls- im dreading that by the way-watch for a long post after a long mom's
    day) he didn't know about it all,

    since I was eluding that I wasn't sure if I had to pay for that whole
    ordeal either. I could tell he wasn't happy to hear about that at all.

    He acted offended that he wasn't invited to participate,

    Admitted he knew his father wasn't working, didn't have car, and
    was not paying child support. I openly stated that his father is
    doing a lot more for difficult child than for youngest.
    He agreed.

    stated he still wasn't getting along with the middle one,
    Really, she's acting as if you are doing great

    stated he doesn't talk to his dad much
    Really, he acts like he talks to you daily

    stated that he wasn't really living at gparents
    where then?
    oh with a couple of friends but they just got kicked out

    that he was going to community college in august like his
    sister and that federal aid was complete
    There is no financial assistance to felonist.

    that he was leaving for a birthday weekend trip after we got off the
    phone and thought I'd help
    I'm not paying for partying or tattoos.

    By the time we got off of
    the phone, he said he'd call me later in the weekend
    (my reply in my head: doubtful)

    Believe it or not, I'm happy it went so well.
    Sad it is the way it is though.
    He really could have been a great kid with a great future.

    I asked littlest if she wanted to celebrate his birthday (her and I)
    she said she wanted to go to a sleepover. I said do you want
    to do anything for him, or do you think I should, she said "nope"

    Okay, I'll go out then and celebrate his birthday alone. And I'm
    happy about it :)
  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Sounds to me like you handled it very well.

  3. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    oh i JUST loveeeeeeeeeee THE ONE .....you know where he figures out that Gma and Gpa HAVE money to give, and have given it out of the goodness of their hearts, willingly for years---without a thank you AND were warned.....but brushed it off....and NOW that he's older sees that as a viable source of FREE income and lies about "I DID THANK THEM."

    yeah----once, when I was six.....at a party....you remember don't you Mom....? UGH.

    Mom YOU TOTALLY ROCKED that call.....I'm telling you -

    BUT.....if you want??? Whenever his birthday rolls around? Post it here. It will make you feel a little better (trust me) to have your friends recognize that the day is the day of your son's birth and despite him being a dinky-doo.....We love him anyway and keep praying for our nephew to pull his head out of the proverbial sand and be a nice, decent young man some day. (insert miraculous music here .....and a mansion and yacht while were at it -----hey - think big when you think)

    Hugs & Love
    but seriously - post the birthday here and it will make you feel better. it did the 1st time I posted about my son because no one else cared but the girls here.