T
TeDo
Guest
I've been having an issue with difficult child 1 lately and have been racking my brain trying to figure out a meaningful, "logical" way to change the behavior. And, "By george, I think I've got it!".
Here's a perfect example. After dinner last night, difficult child 1 asked if he could go see if A could play because B was gone and C is in California. I said sure. An hour later, he texts me to ask if he can sleep at B's house. I said not tonight. When it was time for him to come home, he did so.....5 min early (another YEAH!). I asked him where the idea to sleep at B's house came from since he was at A's house. He said that B came and found him. I reminded him that he'd told me B was gone. He said he'd called to find out where B was at and it turned out he was at D's house so he went to D's house too. Now, D's house is on the other side of town (NOT a big town by any means) not anywhere near A or B's house (they're near us).
He then asked when he could spend the night at B's house since this is the second night I have said "not tonight". I simply told him that he could earn that privilege by following my rule about ALWAYS telling me where he is. I reminded him that the only reason I got him a cell phone was so I could contact him any time I wanted but that didn't mean he could go wherever he wanted whenever he wanted. He's only 13 years old and I'd better be able to physically find him where he last told me he was at. If he can't handle that, then I will take the phone away and then he can't leave our yard.
Today........there has not been a single move that he hasn't told me about BEFORE it happens. If only all our problems were this easy to solve.
Here's a perfect example. After dinner last night, difficult child 1 asked if he could go see if A could play because B was gone and C is in California. I said sure. An hour later, he texts me to ask if he can sleep at B's house. I said not tonight. When it was time for him to come home, he did so.....5 min early (another YEAH!). I asked him where the idea to sleep at B's house came from since he was at A's house. He said that B came and found him. I reminded him that he'd told me B was gone. He said he'd called to find out where B was at and it turned out he was at D's house so he went to D's house too. Now, D's house is on the other side of town (NOT a big town by any means) not anywhere near A or B's house (they're near us).
He then asked when he could spend the night at B's house since this is the second night I have said "not tonight". I simply told him that he could earn that privilege by following my rule about ALWAYS telling me where he is. I reminded him that the only reason I got him a cell phone was so I could contact him any time I wanted but that didn't mean he could go wherever he wanted whenever he wanted. He's only 13 years old and I'd better be able to physically find him where he last told me he was at. If he can't handle that, then I will take the phone away and then he can't leave our yard.
Today........there has not been a single move that he hasn't told me about BEFORE it happens. If only all our problems were this easy to solve.
