The New Year's Resolution/Holiday optimism came crashing down this past week. Over the holidays things were tolerable with my daughter. Not by any means uneventful, but she was getting money/gifts and spending time with family and optimistic that she would be in her own apartment soon and "not have to trade sexual favors with someone as old as my grandpa for living space anymore" - said she. So the new year rolls around, she's still at the bar, liquor-carrying in her bag, snorting coke and smoking weed. She keeps telling us that she needs to start spending more time with her child because he's coming "home" with her in a few weeks when she gets her apartment (her and another friend who does not have her children and also has an eviction on record got someone to co-sign an apartment for them, I guess). I explained to her that we would need to transition, and that it would not be a good idea to have the baby, who has lived with us since birth and is quite attached, suddenly staying over there, etc. She blew off the handle. Threats were made against our lives, she (bleeping) hates us, and couldn't wait to get her (bleep) together so she could have him to herself. Subsequently she did not go into work because she was hung over one day and congested another day. She outright said she did so much coke she blames that for her congestion (???). "If things don't improve and I don't have my kid, I'm just going to kill myself," she says. We received our check-in form from the state regarding guardianship (asks for living arrangements and updates), and my husband said we should file for full custody. I feel like that might open up a can of pain, but maybe that is what we should be doing. I just don't know. Our financial means aren't great, so I don't really want to reach out to our lawyer again, but I feel like I need to. Like we're just skating on time and I'm not sure why. Raising a baby/child is one thing, but the constant abuse and mind-games from an adult child is... I'm just over it. I feel terrible to think of anything happening to her. I can't even go there in my head. But I also feel like I'm slowly being eaten alive. My health has been so much worse this past year.