I wanted to share good news. This "talk" which I describe below was triggered because M got after me that I was letting my son slide, since I had started work, and that it was my obligation, not his, to monitor my sons progress and to motivate him as needed. M, rightfully, does not want to be 100 percent responsible both for supervising my son's work, and his psycho-social adjustment and progress. Since Monday I have been communicating this to my son: You have got to up your game, as a condition of staying here. What this means is this: Like I have told you, our home is not a homeless shelter. You stay here conditional on your working consistently to make your life better, with short-term, medium-term and long-term goals. There is an expectation by me that if you do not have goals or feel unable or blocked to make or meet them, you get help doing so, by Voc Rehab or a therapist or both, or any other support you can identify. I want to get across that you are here, not to tread water but to make a life and to make an independent life. I told my son that in the past I have micro-managed goals which was bad for the both of us. I did not want to anymore. The impetus and responsibility had to come from him. I was pissed because he had cancelled his appointment with the psychiatrist in the big metro two hours from here that had been for today and rescheduled it for next week. He had told me he gave the excuse of having a great deal of commitments for work for us!!! Lie!!! I insisted he call the man and tell the truth, that he had felt too tired to make the trip. (After all is said and done, I am not sure what the truth is!) So, he came to my room to report back his progress towards making a plan. (First, I reminded him, it was important he see the liver doctor and get his blood work done, and second, get his state ID--and I hoped he would make these a priority.) I have identified 3 goals, he said: First, I will go to vocational rehabilitation to work with them to make a vocational plan and to find out what are my aptitudes. Second, I will enroll in a gym. (Big deal because he has anxieties around his (gorgeous) appearance, and some agaraphobia.) Third, I will get a therapist locally, but I think this might be redundant because I already have Dr. B. (Who is a psychiatrist-psychoanalyst that we have known since he was in 6th grade), who he plans to see every month for 2 hours. I have to add here how very pleased I was when he initiated the idea to see Dr. B, going 3 hours on the train and bus to do so.) I have to say these are very well-thought and reasonable goals, and I am proud of him. Today M said that I should lay off, because my son has changed 40 percent since he has been with us, for the better, and that the kind of changing he is doing is tough. And that I need to not pressure him. I feel otherwise. I believe that by setting these short-term goals he raises the bar for himself. I believe that there is risk in not asking enough. I am gratified that he came to me. He could have gone to closet himself in his room. Instead he manned up and confronted the situation and came through. I am proud of him. In SWOT's word's. Did I remember to say I was proud of him? My update for me is that I have begun my 5th week of work back in prison. I work non-stop 10 hours a day. No lunch. No breaks. Just furiously working. My life has changed 180 degrees. I come home exhausted and in pain--my back and neck. But I am doing it. I know you guys most of you have been doing this every day--but to me up at 5 am is tough! But the good side is since I met you all 15 months ago or so I am out of bed--and back to work. After 3.5 years!! I will meet my 6 months goal, and no more prison for me, unless they agree to let me do vacation relief or something very short-term. Thank you everybody for your support.