Marguerite
Active Member
Nancy, on the subject of diaries you said, "I was reading the PWS thread and someone suggested making a diary. I did one many years ago, but I'm thinking I should really start again. Trouble is, I don't hear about ALL the school issues anymore even though I've specifically asked the teachers to email or make a quick call home. they said it wasn't a big deal because they left her alone, and within a minute or two she was back into the class fine."
Something we did which seemed to be the best thing in so many ways, was a "Communication Book". It's little more than a diary, but it's kept by everyone. There are strict rules:
1) the book travels in the student's school bag. It is NEVER to be the student's responsibility, whatsoever.
2) Parent to write in the book either in the morning, or evening before. Read any teacher comments first; respond to teacher comments and also mention any behaviour issues or anything else possibly relevant to teachers.
3) Teachers to write in book at school - anything of interest to parents or doctors. PMI - Plus, Minus, Interesting. So a parent might write, "She didn't have a good night, she had broken sleep with nightmares. She may be tired and a bit upset." The teacher might write, "I know you were concerned but she actually worked well this morning. Was a bit unsettled after lunch, did seem more tired but remembering about her difficult night, we made a few more allowances for her."
Over time, patterns can emerge when school and home work in cooperation. In our experience, when the school tried to 'wean off' from the diary, was when we had major escalation in behaviour problems. Why should this happen? Because of something I'm only now fully realising - his behaviour was directly affected by the mental attitude of the person dealing with him. With the daily communication, there was much better understanding of his problems. Without it, the school staff were more rigid with difficult child 3 and I must admit, so was I. He was not fully able to explain to me what was going on at school, nor explain to his teachers what was going on at home.
I had the Book written into the IEP. I had to enforce it often, I often had to remind them to NOT make it difficult child's responsibility in any way - it was just too important.
I also made sure we had the book to show his doctors. And when we changed schools, I took along the old Communication Books to show them what we needed. Interestingly, I saw the new class teacher and new principal exchange glances at some of the entries, they were shocked at the reactions and comments of some of the past class teachers.
An important rule for you - try to not react with hostility to anything the teachers may write about your child. It needs to be a 'free' zone. SO if/when the teacher writes something like, "I could have throttled your kid today and cheerfully laughed through the entire process!" do NOT get angry, because judging from comments here, most of us (if not all) know how they feel. Instead, just commiserate and encourage. I also thanked them for their honesty.
I hope this helps.
Marg
Something we did which seemed to be the best thing in so many ways, was a "Communication Book". It's little more than a diary, but it's kept by everyone. There are strict rules:
1) the book travels in the student's school bag. It is NEVER to be the student's responsibility, whatsoever.
2) Parent to write in the book either in the morning, or evening before. Read any teacher comments first; respond to teacher comments and also mention any behaviour issues or anything else possibly relevant to teachers.
3) Teachers to write in book at school - anything of interest to parents or doctors. PMI - Plus, Minus, Interesting. So a parent might write, "She didn't have a good night, she had broken sleep with nightmares. She may be tired and a bit upset." The teacher might write, "I know you were concerned but she actually worked well this morning. Was a bit unsettled after lunch, did seem more tired but remembering about her difficult night, we made a few more allowances for her."
Over time, patterns can emerge when school and home work in cooperation. In our experience, when the school tried to 'wean off' from the diary, was when we had major escalation in behaviour problems. Why should this happen? Because of something I'm only now fully realising - his behaviour was directly affected by the mental attitude of the person dealing with him. With the daily communication, there was much better understanding of his problems. Without it, the school staff were more rigid with difficult child 3 and I must admit, so was I. He was not fully able to explain to me what was going on at school, nor explain to his teachers what was going on at home.
I had the Book written into the IEP. I had to enforce it often, I often had to remind them to NOT make it difficult child's responsibility in any way - it was just too important.
I also made sure we had the book to show his doctors. And when we changed schools, I took along the old Communication Books to show them what we needed. Interestingly, I saw the new class teacher and new principal exchange glances at some of the entries, they were shocked at the reactions and comments of some of the past class teachers.
An important rule for you - try to not react with hostility to anything the teachers may write about your child. It needs to be a 'free' zone. SO if/when the teacher writes something like, "I could have throttled your kid today and cheerfully laughed through the entire process!" do NOT get angry, because judging from comments here, most of us (if not all) know how they feel. Instead, just commiserate and encourage. I also thanked them for their honesty.
I hope this helps.
Marg
I love it. I have one "problem"....trusting my daughter with it in her backpack......I'm worried she'd read it and have some issues with- anything the teacher wrote, forget that she has it, or destroys any entries because she doesn't agree with it? Geez, I wouldn't mind if she could voice her own opinion in there! I'd be happy she's writing her feelings!!
