I'm suddenly respite UGH

[JJJ]

A difficult child that was in Tigger's class two years ago was dropped off by his grandfather who just LEFT HIM HERE!!! I was inside and come outside to find him in my yard and he tells me that his grandpa will be back at 3pm. Well, I needed to leave for work before 3pm and it is now 3:16pm and still no grandpa. He is being well behaved -- for a difficult child -- but really, shouldn't you ask before you dump your kid????

(Plus our neighbor's 2 children and 2 of her day care children are outside (did I mention it's now raining hard) and I can hear the little girl crying. I run out to see what is wrong, she has fallen off her bike and is bleeding and mom isn't answering the door!!!)

I am surrounded by adult difficult children!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Star*]

Hand GRANDPA a bill for sitter services and ream him a new one -

THAT IS SO BS.....and you KNOW I WOULD DO what I told you to do.

AND HAVE......

 

[Andy]

What a dilema! Let us know what you did and how it turned out.

Not sure what I would do. I would call the neighbor and tell her to unlock her front door. Wonder if the daycare kids' parents know that they get locked out?

Did the "abandoned" boy know how to call a parent or another relative? Many "institutional" (not sure proper term for programs) daycares such as YMCA have a policy that if kid is not picked up by a certain time (15 minutes after closing I think) than Social Services is called.

Does this kid's family know you at all?

I hope you didn't get too late for work. I can feel your stress!

 

[trinityroyal]

GRRRRR!
What Star said, times 2.

Charge him and then rip him a new one.

 

[meowbunny]

I wouldn't rip him a new one. I'd be syrupy sweet and disgustingly sarcastic thanking him for leaving his grandson since I needed the extra money, especially since I was now late for work and would hand him a bill. I would charge him for babysitting fees, lost wages, overtime fees for babysitting past 3:00 pm (find out what the going rate is at local daycares for late fees) and explain that yes, I really do expect to be paid for my time and services.

 

[trinityroyal]

Actually, on further reflection I think Meowbunny's advice makes sense.

 

[JJJ]

Grandpa finally showed up at 4:15pm!!!!!!!!!! Ugh! He seemed embarassed when I calmly told him that I was now in trouble at work because I had to be there 90 minutes ago. (I was able to conference call into my meeting.)

Re: the next door neighbor, I just opened her door and stuck all the kids back inside (they're not locked out, but 3 of them are too little to open the door--it sticks--and the 6 year old was bleeding). They were back outside 20 minutes later wrapped in towels cause they were all wet from the rain.

So, now it is just me and mine. Everybody has an activity tonight, so I'm off...

 

[susiestar]

Did Gpa have a REASON why he dumped his kid on you?? I would have called social services. Soemthing isn't right with that. You are a good person.

 

[Hound dog]

I'd have been livid.

I had Nichole bring a friend home from school once when she was 6. This friend was supposed to be spending the weekend at our house. Only thing was.........I never knew a thing about it. Little girl told her Mom she wanted to sleep over, Mom packed the bag, and she rode the bus with Nichole home.

I didn't know the child. I'd never met the parents. I didn't even know where this child LIVED! I spent the evening trying to get phone numbers from a 6 yr old to contact her family. Thank God we're a small town, because someone in the neighborhood knew her and had a aunts phone number. I had auntie come and get her.

And boy did auntie get an earfull!!! (I know it wasn't her fault) Mom completely abandoned the little girl 6 months later.

Glad the rest of your day ought to be peaceful.

Hugs

 

[klmno]

I had this happen a couple of times, too. I understand that kids are going to say things sometimes - stretch the truth to get to visit with a friend- but I have a problem with parents of young ones just dropping the kid off when they haven't even checked with the parent. In your case, he didn't even let you know the kid was in your yard- that was just - well, it wouldn't be polite for me to say....

 

[amazeofgrace]

hmmm any chance Grandpa was punked by his difficult child grandchild, this happened to me when difficult child II's friend told his parents that we were more then happy to watch him for the day and pay his was to the local pool. Luckily they called 1/2 way through the day to check in and somehow the truth came out. difficult child's are sneaky in their ways, sorry about you've been unvolantarily signed up to be the local child care center

 

[JJJ]

I got a bit of the story from the difficult child. It seems this is the 3rd relative he's been pawned off onto in the last year. I got the impression that mom wasn't able to parent him and the relatives kept getting burned out. difficult child said grandpa had to visit grandpa's sister who is "dying in a few days", oh and get his oil changed. Now I can cut an old man (probably late 70s) some slack with his sister dying -- but an oil change??? Course this is all difficult child-s story, who know how much is true.

Thankfully, the school is going to try Tigger in regular ed next year because they don't want him around the "true behavior disordered" kids, cause Tigger's outbursts are more reactions to fear and rejection rather than true defiance, so he won't be with this little boy.

 

[flutterbee]

I would be so livid.

Last year, a former neighbor dropped his kid off without even checking to see if we were home and then he went out of town. The kid hasn't been diagnosis'd, but I'd bet money he's an Aspie.

What's up with your neighbor? And she babysits?

 

[Andy]

Parents (and guardians) have to communicate directly to their children's friends' parents. Even at 11 years old, I check up on difficult child's plans with the other parent involved. Tonight, difficult child calls me at about 4:00. "Can I stay at H's house while you go into set up for VBS and H's mom can bring us when the program starts?" "Sure, that is o.k. with me but come home now to let puppy out before I leave." So, about 4:40, I leave and as I am backing out of the driveway think to myself that this is a situation that I need to verify plans in person with the mom. So, I call H's mom. "The boys tell me you will be bringing them to VBS. Are you sure that will work?" "What? They did, huh? They haven't asked me yet." "I am sorry, I will return home. Send them over in 10 minutes and I will take them with me." "That is o.k. I can take them later. Thank you for calling - wonder when they were going to break the news to me?"

Adults always have to make contact with whoever is next in taking care of a kid. Plans constantly have to be reviewed to make sure everyone is on the same page and children are being taken care of.

You are basically a stranger to this kid. How can anyone drop off a kid with a stranger and just leave? The grandfather did a very dangerous thing.

 

[TerryJ2]

Tacky.
My difficult child loves to have me drop him off at people's houses, unannounced. I hate it. I usually walk up and ring the doorbell. He has a conniption fit because he feels like I'm treating him like a baby. It's not cool to have mom standing at the door.

Now our kids are at the age when they can pretty much roam the neighborhood and it doesn't freak me out. (My difficult child developed that habit at age 4 and I spent numerous hrs tracking him down and disciplining him, only to have him go back out and do it all over.) Usually they play outside so it's not much of an intrusion ... basketball, etc.
But not always.

I'm so sorry that kid has been passed around so much. Poor thing.