LookingForPeace
Member
I am a First Timer on this forum. I have read so many posts similar to our situation. We admitted our 16yo adopted son (E) to an all boys boarding school for juvenile delinquents. He was on a path that would lead him to jail and we didn’t want that to happen. He has been there 1 year.
For Christmas we picked up E and he spent 5 consecutive days with us at a rental property. His school does not allow him to come home until he graduates the program. Our oldest son (17yo) refused to join us and our (13yo) daughter chose to come along. It had been 12mo since she had seen her brother.
E created chaos in our home for years. He lied, stole, manipulated, ran away, threatened suicide, cut himself, etc. The past 12mo with him gone has been...a relief, wonderful, fun!
E is scheduled to graduate HS in 5mo. We are crossing our fingers he will enter the marines. He wants to come home for a month or two before shipping out. We are ALL very hesitant about having him back in the home.
Over Christmas he was still telling silly lies, he used my phone to search porn, and got onto my social media account and friended a person he knows, but I don’t. This may not seem like a big deal but of course this is how it all started and snow balled into uncontrollable behavior. Obviously he hasn’t changed, he just hasn’t had access to these privileges.
I want to limit his stay to 10 days. He can come home and see family/friends and then he needs to leave. How do I tell him this? His birth parents abandoned him and now we are basically doing the same thing. We are all just so exhausted from the turmoil he causes. I’m not sure how to set up boundaries and be emotionally unattached. I should say I know how to do this but as his Mom this feels so wrong. Bleh!
Thanks for listening!
For Christmas we picked up E and he spent 5 consecutive days with us at a rental property. His school does not allow him to come home until he graduates the program. Our oldest son (17yo) refused to join us and our (13yo) daughter chose to come along. It had been 12mo since she had seen her brother.
E created chaos in our home for years. He lied, stole, manipulated, ran away, threatened suicide, cut himself, etc. The past 12mo with him gone has been...a relief, wonderful, fun!
E is scheduled to graduate HS in 5mo. We are crossing our fingers he will enter the marines. He wants to come home for a month or two before shipping out. We are ALL very hesitant about having him back in the home.
Over Christmas he was still telling silly lies, he used my phone to search porn, and got onto my social media account and friended a person he knows, but I don’t. This may not seem like a big deal but of course this is how it all started and snow balled into uncontrollable behavior. Obviously he hasn’t changed, he just hasn’t had access to these privileges.
I want to limit his stay to 10 days. He can come home and see family/friends and then he needs to leave. How do I tell him this? His birth parents abandoned him and now we are basically doing the same thing. We are all just so exhausted from the turmoil he causes. I’m not sure how to set up boundaries and be emotionally unattached. I should say I know how to do this but as his Mom this feels so wrong. Bleh!
Thanks for listening!