Introducing myself & need help

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by escapedagain, Nov 5, 2008.

  1. escapedagain

    escapedagain New Member

    Hello! I was really glad to find this site! Just reading that others were going through what I am was a relief. There are no support groups around here..

    I have 6 children:
    22 - bio. child, married, great kid
    21 - bio. child, living with grandparents to help take care of them, great
    kid that loves stunt riding his motorcycle, sky jumping and any thing
    else that will give me gray hair.
    20 - bio. child, living with boyfriend, great kid now, has already given me
    alot of gray hair.
    9 - adopted, with us since 5 weeks old. Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified, ADHD, Fetal alcohol
    syndrome, mood disorder, MR, escape artist.
    4- adopted, with us since 3 mo.. Disruptive Behavior Disorder, ADHD,
    Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
    2- adopted, with us since 3 mo.. Fetal Alcohol Syndrome

    We have fostered for 11 years now. We never intended to adopt, but it just happened. Our 3 adopted children are a huge handful! We love them just like our bio. kids, but they really take it out of us. I know why they say to have kids while you are young.

    My problem is our 9 year old. This past summer he was hospitalized twice for agression (physically abusive to me and smaller kids and tore our home up). The doctors have not been able to get his medications. right since. He swings (moods) more than a swing set. He believes he is in controle and can do anything he wants to. We live on 20 acres on a dead end road (we are at the end of the road surrounded by woods and creeks) with 6 homes before ours then a major highway. He keeps sneeking off! He can disappear in no time and he takes our 4 year old with him. He tells me nothing will happen to him! He goes up the road to play at the neighbors when they are not home during the day or down the creek that leads to a lake and subdivision. He has been taken out of school because he cant handle being seperated from me and they cant get his medications right. I schoolo him during the day but it only takes a couple of hours and he cant find anything to keep him busy the rest of the day. He doesnt play with anything! His only interest is his 4 wheeler and critters in the woods and creeks. Short of taking him into the bathroom with me we are together all the time.

    Does anyone have anything good to say about tracking devices? Are there any that he could not take off? We have alarms and locks on all doors, but he takes off when we are outside or in public too. I'm going crazy!
  2. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hi Escaped and welcome! I LOVE your name considering the 9 year old!

    I haven't had any experience with tracking equipment, but why not put it on the 4 year old? This way if he takes off, the 4 year old will at least be safe! I would google it and see where I landed.

    Is he receiving any therapy, social skills training, etc. for the various issues?

    I found a website that helped me with trying to get points across to my difficult child 2. It's called and it's a wonderful site. It basically writing social stories but personalizes them. What's really cool is that they let you put together a book (for free) so that you can check and see if it will hold his interest. You personalize it by giving them the name, age, sex, hair/eye color, favorite toy etc. It's worth a shot!

    Gotta go, someone's messing around upstairs and I've gotta figure out "who!".

    Talk to you soon,
    Last edited: Nov 6, 2008
  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Hi, welcome.
    Here's a soft blanket and a good book (The Explosive Child). I'll fluff up your pillows for you.
    I have no experience with-tracking devices but I can see why you'd want them. The only problem would be whether your son takes off his end of the device. Or gets it wet.
    I don't know that much about fetal alcohol syndrome, except what I've read on line, in passing, so I don't know how much help I can be.
    My son doesn't run away, but he does think he's in charge of everything and thinks he knows how to do everything, even though he's never had lessons (music, sports, law, you name it). I have to wonder where his mind is.
    There are others here who can address your issues more specifically.
    Take care.
  4. Andy

    Andy Active Member


    I was wondering how walkie talkies would work. Kids love to use them and he can call you every so often and you can call him to see which way he went.

    Tell him that you worry about him and it is important that he be able to call you. Maybe make a game of it once in awhile where he calls and gives you directions to where he is? It will teach him how to give directions and give you an idea where to look when he does disappear.

    Make "check ins" lighthearted or as if you are looking for info. "difficult child?" "Here Mom" "Can you come home for a snack?" or "difficult child?" "Yeah Mom?" "Does your brother need a jacket?"

    Otherwise, today when I was looking for difficult child (not far, just didn't hear me calling) I wondered if I could get him a shock collar like our neighbor's dog has so that I knew he would actually be in the yard somewhere? But then I suppose I may get in big trouble for that one? :smug:

    I hope you find an answer soon. Hard enough when they run off on their own but to take a 4 year old with adds another stress.
  5. mom_to_3

    mom_to_3 Active Member

    Welcome! I don't have any answers, but can sympathize with you about your son's mood swings and thinking he is in control. My adopted daughter was like that growing up and right now we have custody of her 4 yr. old son. The apple didn't fall from the tree! The biggest thing I notice is that his moods can change in the blink of an eye and at times are extreme! He likes to be "in charge" too. Not too fun. You aren't alone............. There will be others that will come by and offer suggestions.
  6. escapedagain

    escapedagain New Member

    believe me I have thought about the shock collars! I wish it could be that easy, but since I'm a foster mom too I don't think the protections agency would like that solution. I really think sometimes a dog would be easier. I do love the walkie talkie ideas though and will try them, thanks!
  7. escapedagain

    escapedagain New Member

    Thanks for the reply. I went to and cant find anything but how to build a real sandbox or learn a language. What am I doing wrong? I love the idea of social stories but have never learned how to write them. Can you help? am I going to the wrong place or just not using the site right?
  8. TracyEd

    TracyEd New Member

    Hi Escaped,

    I recently bought myself a new cell phone and noticed children's phones while in the store. I've always fought my 10 year old daughter on why she couldn't have one until the clerk told me they have Kid Safe on them. This is a tracking device that I can use if needed by downloading the info into the computer. I don't know much about it as I haven't needed to use it, but neither of my kids know their phones are tracking devices and I think it's great to know where they are.

    Now the only issue is to get my son to remember to take his phone with him.

    The cost of the phones is only $10 extra each per month on my plan and they can use my minutes. The phones have 5 buttons to program only those numbers into them.

    It's worth looking into if that sounds useful to you.

    Good Luck!