Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by sterling7, Apr 29, 2010.

  1. sterling7

    sterling7 Guest

    Hi everyone,

    I come read these forums now and again when I just can't take being a parent of a difficult child anymore, but have never posted before. It is so nice to know I'm not alone. My daughter is diagnosed ADHD (by neurologist) and ODD/Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) (by psychologist), and I'm beginning to suspect she's bipolar. She has incredible insomnia yet is never tired, her moods fluctuate between extremely giddy/hyper and crying/screaming (within a single hour), she's way too focused on sexuality for her age, and she fluctuates between a super high ego and super low self esteem. Add all that to her ADHD, oppositional behaviors, and life-disrupting irrational fears, and I am spent. I don't know if I can make it through several more years of this.

    I love her so much and it hurts so badly to see her suffering. It's heartbreaking. I want to help her so badly, but all I can do is keep taking her to doctors and psychologists who don't seem to understand the severity of it. I started videotaping her tonight so that maybe they'll finally see how bad it is. But ultimately it seems that I'm just going to have to live this way....helpless and tormented by love for a being that is supposed to be a child, but doesn't even resemble one sometimes because she's so sick.

    Thanks for reading, just had to get this off my chest.
  2. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    You do not have to live like this. I would suggest you get your daughter to a psychiatrist. If she is bi-polar being on Concerta without the protection of a mood stabilizer could be causing problems. It is a hard road but we all walk together.

    My 11 year old is so much better than he was at 10, correct diagnosis and medications can help so much. You may also want to look into the gluten-free, casein-free/all natural diet; I couldn't believe how many symptoms disappeared when we did.
  3. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Also to add to the previous advice (which I fully endorse) - while waiting for appointments, things to happen to help, etc - get your hands on "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. Get it out of the library, borrow a copy, Google it - do whatever you can to read up on the techniques.

    Speaking form my own experience, I had been a member on this site for over a year or more, before i was able to get my hands on a copy. I was worried that it would give me a lot of tasks to do when I was already exhausted and barely treading water. But actually, it was brilliant. I found that just by reading it, I was changing my mindset towards my child without even realising it, and as a result his behaviour was changing, even though I hadn't made any changes (or so I thought).

    It's not a cure. But crikey, do we manage so much better now!

    Also, posting on this site helped me get support and confidence form other parents, which I needed to stand up and yell for help here, locally, for my child. I was scared I was asking for too much, but it turned out I was asking for very little of his basic human rights.

  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome Pam,
    Glad you found us-you will find much support here. If it is Bipolar and not just ADHD I would definitely see a psychiatrist (psychiatrist). My son who is both bipolar and ADHD can not tolerate any stimulants-it actually makes him more violent. I know just how exhausted you must be-I'm right there with you-be sure you are finding some time for yourself which I know is easier said than done.
  5. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    You are definitely not alone here!

    We are another family with a child who started out looking like he had ADHD but evolved into bipolar and absolutely cannot tolerate stimulant medications because they make him much worse now.

    Everyone has already given you great advice. Glad you came out here to introduce yourself :)
  6. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    The others have given you great advice. You might see if she can get an apt. with- a child psychiatrist. If she really is bipolar, the stimulant medication could be making things worse. Have you read the book The Bipolar Child by Dr. Papolos? It is very informative/very good. Be sure to nurture your relationship with- your spouse and get the rest you need. Raising a daughter with- special needs is taxing. You are not alone...we understand.
  7. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Just wanted to add my welcome...
  8. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Popping in to welcome you....

    I really don't have anything more to offer at this point ~ just know you are not alone. We've all had our difficult child issues & understand your frustration; your exhaustion.
  9. dirtmama

    dirtmama New Member

    i know what your are up against! i suspect bipolar in my difficult child. he is now 24 hrs off concerta for the 1st time since fall. just when i thought things couldn't get worse (i'll start a new post if time allows) difficult child is home from school 2day couldn't send i have no time now. welcome...
  10. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    My thoughts are prayers are with you. I feel the same way several times a week.... my difficult child is 10 and the thought of dealing with this for so many more years is exhausting, trying, depressing, etc. There are more bad days than good right now. Please try and keep your chin up. Better days are coming !:D
  11. Luvbooks7

    Luvbooks7 Guest


    I offer support, caring and understanding, yes it is daunting to have all these diagnoses at age 10.....the guidance counselor at school said that hormones may be making the moodiness worse and her advice was "ride it out for a few years, by age 13 it gets better".
    I'm glad you introduced yourself, there are wonderful people here with plenty of knowledge and experience.
  12. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Luvbooks7: as typical, that guidance counsellor was wrong. By age 13, the problems caused by hormones are about to leave the launch pad!

    It reminds me of difficult child 3's school counsellor when he was 8, who said to us, "Isn't it good to see that difficult child 3 isn't autistic any more."

    Excuse me? As she said this we could see difficult child 3 in a crowded school playground, the solitary kid walking along the white line that marked the edge of the basketball court. Following the line, step by step, oblivious to all others.

    I think to become a school counsellor or guidance counsellor, in some districts, they have to take an ability test. The ones that fail, get the job.