Thank you Swot, Nomad, Elsi and Lil. The doctor said she was in a lot of pain from arthritis in her hip and thigh, could not stand up correctly and it could well be that she couldn't squat in order to pee. She asked me if I couldn't see how Dolly didn't stand fully up, and I felt horrible. What is my problem, that I don't want to see things that are real? She said her heart had deteriorated in the 9 months since she had seen her last. She was a boxer and they have heart problems and cancer and Dolly had both. She has had mast cell tumors for 5 years, and it is amazing that she lived this long. The Vet said that she would run studies on the pee and try to extend her lifespan but I thought, why? She said Dolly would not get better. It felt to me to be a vanity project to extend Dolly's life, if she was suffering and could not be treated.
I called M and he came. He was against the studies. At first he proposed to bring her home for 15 days and try Mexican medicine: plants, massage, walking her. But admitted this Plan B would be on my account, so that I did not have to face the inevitable. I felt that delaying it was wrong for Dolly and bad for me. And it came out that he felt, at heart, we should let her go. I asked the doctor: is there 1 percent chance we can make Dolly better? The Vet said no. And that was that. M stayed with Dolly throughout. I couldn't.
I'm wiped. Thank you very much. I'm going to study my Hebrew.