It never ends. difficult child's truck is in the impound

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Wakegirl, Feb 15, 2013.

  1. Wakegirl

    Wakegirl Member

    So, I get a text this morning that difficult child's truck is in the impound. He lost the keys 2 weeks ago, this coming Saturday. Evidently did NOTHING about getting a new key made, and now it's been towed. It had been sitting at a gas station, where it was originally parked before he took off with one of his friends to go to a rodeo, and lost his keys. He said the manager told him it would be ok sitting there in the parking lot. Sure....for a couple of days. WHERE IS HIS BRAIN? You can't just leave your vehicle sitting on private property for however long you like.

    My question is: Should I pay to get a key made and pay to get it out of the impound, and then park it at my house and take away his privileges to drive it? OR, let the impound auction it off, and let him toss it up to a lesson learned (hopefully, ha). As far as value, it has very little. It has over 200,000 miles and has more dents and dings than you can count. He's treated it like ****...just as he has everything else in his life.

    That boy literally amazes me. I go from worrying and being being irked and sitting in disbelief.

    ....and, again, to think he's got a child on the way. Makes me nauseous.
  2. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Is there any public transportation where you live? Can your difficult child get a job without his truck? These are all things you need to consider.

    Also, is the car in your name? Would it be worth enough to make it worthwhile to pay for the fees to get it out of impound? If so, I would probably get it out and sell it. If not, I would let it go and let your difficult child learn things the hard way.

    Another thing to consider is if you get it out of impound your difficult child will probably hound you to give it to him. If it is still in impound, it would be out of your hands unless he came up with the money to get a key made and pay the impound fees. That would make me tempted to leave it there.

    I don't know if there is one right answer.

    Last edited: Feb 15, 2013
  3. Wakegirl

    Wakegirl Member

    Kathy813, we're thinking along the same lines....if it's sitting in the impound, it's out of my hands and it's up to him whether he gets it out or not. His work history is pathetic....he'd rather everything be given to him. We don't have public transportation....but today, at this very minute, I'm thinking that's another problem he's going to have to figure out on his own. Sounds like a great opportunity to go into the military, get some training/education and a paycheck...and then he can start saving to buy his own car. Just my thoughts.

    The truck is in my name...and I am actually in the process of signing the title over to him. I had to apply for a lost title this week, so I'm waiting on that to be taken care of (never received the title when it was paid off). I'm not so sure it's worth the hassle to try to sell it. I'm telling ya, it's in bad shape, cosmetically, and the engine is starting to have some issues.

    I've paid my fair share of getting his truck out of impounds...but usually for far worse circumstances. I feel like I've truly done my share of helping him. Probably too much, which is part of the reason for his great sense of entitlement. Keep in mind...this is just my thoughts today. LOL! I'll probably be all sad and weepy again tomorrow. Such an emotional roller coaster ride that he has me on!
  4. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I understand the quandry. Another factor is the baby. Would the baby have transportation for Dr. appts. etc. if he does not have a car? I hate how frequently we all end up trying to decide whether the rock or the hard place makes more sense.
    Hugs DDD
  5. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    been there done that. Kathy gave you a lot of important things to consider. We took difficult child's car (in our name) away from her for two years and parked it in my dad's drive. When we finally let her start driving it again she did get it towed at least three times because she wasn't allowed to park on the street and there was no place else to park by her apartment. We had to pay to get it out because it was still in our name and she needed it to get back and forth to work. It would have caused us more trouble to let it sit or sell it. And it is in awful shape too, dents all over, broken headlight, huge dent in front fender and hood, etc. She trashed it within 6 months. It's eleven years old so we are just waitinfg for it to die.

    Is it going to acrue more charges the longer it sits in impound? It's still in your name so technically you are responsible for it. Where I live he wouldn't even be able to get it out of inpound, the title owner has to do that. If you don;t get it released make sure you know what you are liable for. They may sell it or trash it and still charge you for the storage.

    Whether you get it out of impound probably depends on whether you are absolutely sure this is the end of the rope and you are not going to help him any further. If you don't get it out of impound but then you try to help him with transportation for work it will only make more trouble for you. Yes you have done more than your share but consider the alternatives.

  6. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Member

    I'd check with the impound to see what the storage fees might be. Also, I'd search online and find out what the car is worth. Wonder if the lot will just let it sit a while, increasing the bill, then sell it and keep most/all to pay the fees?

    i mention this cause I don't want you take advantage of.

    i'd go get it IF having it back made YOUR life better. Otherwise, let him suffer the consequences. Doesn't the baby's mom have transport? How will he manage to pay for a car seat, etc.?

    geez difficult children have a way of getting things so tangled up.
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well car seats can be had from the health dept so dont worry about that one and if he doesnt have access to a car, no worry...but they will get a free car seat, dont worry about that one. They wont let them leave the hospital without one.

    That is the least of your worries at this moment.

    The truck is in your name, find out what you legally have to do...then do it.

    I think your idea about the military is a wonderful idea. Perfect in fact. Have him sign up tomorrow. It will make a man of him.