RN0441
100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
Some of you know my story. Our son is 24 now and lives at home after being in rehabs etc. on and off for many years.
He is in school full time getting good grades and works part time to pay his truck payment and incidentals. We still help him with car insurance and cell phone bill as his job is low paying. He has no other expenses.
He is usually a pleasure to be around and he spends a lot of time with us. We all go to church on Sunday and then usually lunch and errands. Well I kind of drag the boys to church but they do go (son and husband). Son is very responsible with his truck payment and in general. Do have to count our blessings on that.
Now this is the problem. Son really hasn't met any friends here - we've been here just over a year now. He is in his first semester at school and has mainly older people in his classes. Main class is a night class this semester. He had a guy at first job here that called a lot but son said he stayed home because he "didn't want to get into any trouble".
He met a girl last year on a dating site. She is 27 and has a 7 year old daughter and lives with her stepfather (who adopted her but is divorced from her mother). Oh and her mother is schizophrenic.
He dated her for several months - mainly her coming to our house once or twice a week - but knew he did not want to be a parent or marriage and made that clear to her. She got increasingly more possessive and controlling. She expected him to text her constantly and would get angry, for example, if he was watching a football game with his dad (and not texting) and jealous if he even called his truck a "she" (he washed "her" and "she" looks good). She would get upset if he didn't text when he woke up and within a certain time after work ended. He did go to her home for dinner a few times and met daughter and dad). She lives about 45 minutes from us.
He never told us much but then started hinting to me that she was "psycho". This was a huge turn off for him but since he didn't know anyone else here and is shy and has anxiety, he didn't do much. I let it be, wanting him to "adult" and figure it out. Did say they had fun together but didn't like when she "got like that" but usually she was fine.
Then when my husband was out of town (naturally) he decided he'd had enough and broke up with her. She started calling him 100 times per day (she works at a call center). Facebook friending him with fake people, texting, messaging, you name it. Took off work and put everything she had of his or that he gave her in a bag on our lawn. This went on for a few days and since husband was gone we were both pretty freaked out. Thought of going to the police but figured the first thing they'd say is to "change your phone number".
I finally went and had his number changed and it all stopped. He was relieved but still worried she'd do damage to his truck that is parked in our driveway etc.
He met a few girls through on line dating but nothing worthwhile and said he didn't want to do it anymore. Fast forward to recently. They are Facebook messaging again. He won't give her his new phone number. He's snuck her in a few times while we were sleeping. Says he's lonely. We actually let her come over last weekend which was not a good idea. Now he wanted her to come over yesterday. We said no way. She cannot come over anymore. Not starting up again. He blames us for him being lonely. Obviously that's on him but she is just easy for him. We are standing our ground.
I told him that I don't want her to get hurt either. That I'm afraid she'll get pregnant or something on purpose. I also said that when he does meet someone special, SHE will run her off. He said he's not ready for that special someone yet. Either way not a good situation. She's a stalker.
I feel bad for him but angry that he put me in this situation. Thoughts? Ideas?
He is in school full time getting good grades and works part time to pay his truck payment and incidentals. We still help him with car insurance and cell phone bill as his job is low paying. He has no other expenses.
He is usually a pleasure to be around and he spends a lot of time with us. We all go to church on Sunday and then usually lunch and errands. Well I kind of drag the boys to church but they do go (son and husband). Son is very responsible with his truck payment and in general. Do have to count our blessings on that.
Now this is the problem. Son really hasn't met any friends here - we've been here just over a year now. He is in his first semester at school and has mainly older people in his classes. Main class is a night class this semester. He had a guy at first job here that called a lot but son said he stayed home because he "didn't want to get into any trouble".
He met a girl last year on a dating site. She is 27 and has a 7 year old daughter and lives with her stepfather (who adopted her but is divorced from her mother). Oh and her mother is schizophrenic.
He dated her for several months - mainly her coming to our house once or twice a week - but knew he did not want to be a parent or marriage and made that clear to her. She got increasingly more possessive and controlling. She expected him to text her constantly and would get angry, for example, if he was watching a football game with his dad (and not texting) and jealous if he even called his truck a "she" (he washed "her" and "she" looks good). She would get upset if he didn't text when he woke up and within a certain time after work ended. He did go to her home for dinner a few times and met daughter and dad). She lives about 45 minutes from us.
He never told us much but then started hinting to me that she was "psycho". This was a huge turn off for him but since he didn't know anyone else here and is shy and has anxiety, he didn't do much. I let it be, wanting him to "adult" and figure it out. Did say they had fun together but didn't like when she "got like that" but usually she was fine.
Then when my husband was out of town (naturally) he decided he'd had enough and broke up with her. She started calling him 100 times per day (she works at a call center). Facebook friending him with fake people, texting, messaging, you name it. Took off work and put everything she had of his or that he gave her in a bag on our lawn. This went on for a few days and since husband was gone we were both pretty freaked out. Thought of going to the police but figured the first thing they'd say is to "change your phone number".
I finally went and had his number changed and it all stopped. He was relieved but still worried she'd do damage to his truck that is parked in our driveway etc.
He met a few girls through on line dating but nothing worthwhile and said he didn't want to do it anymore. Fast forward to recently. They are Facebook messaging again. He won't give her his new phone number. He's snuck her in a few times while we were sleeping. Says he's lonely. We actually let her come over last weekend which was not a good idea. Now he wanted her to come over yesterday. We said no way. She cannot come over anymore. Not starting up again. He blames us for him being lonely. Obviously that's on him but she is just easy for him. We are standing our ground.
I told him that I don't want her to get hurt either. That I'm afraid she'll get pregnant or something on purpose. I also said that when he does meet someone special, SHE will run her off. He said he's not ready for that special someone yet. Either way not a good situation. She's a stalker.
I feel bad for him but angry that he put me in this situation. Thoughts? Ideas?