just a thought

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by catwoman, Feb 24, 2009.

  1. catwoman

    catwoman New Member

    Just a thought; Obviously Stands is not ready or willing to act on suggestions or advice that any of us have to give, even thought she continues to come here asking us for help. Why do we continue to respond? Aren't we, in some sense, enabling the behavior? I don't mean this facetiously, but there's a pattern here and we keep repeating it right along with her. I'm not suggesting we turn our backs on anyone, but maybe we need to detach from HER. Again, I'm not trying to be a b**** here, but this is really disruptive to everyone.
  2. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    We respond because we hope that she is on the verge of a gestault and will finaly and fully process our message. We respond because we hope that she will somehow find the courage of her convictions and do what she needs to do to regain peace in her life. We respond because we want her to know that she is not alone and that she does have a soft place to land.

    There are a few of us who took a very long time to truly understand the concept of detaching with love and what a fine line we must walk between helping and enabling. And there are some that got it immediately. There is a definate learning curve and while we do not have to keep repeating ourselves endlessly I think it would be wrong to stop posting to her threads. -RM
  3. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    Thank you. Even though my threads are lame and sometimes seem repeated I appreicate you responding. It keeps me connected to those of you in recovery from enabling behavior.
  4. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I think it's an individual choice to reply or not to reply. Those that are getting the most frustrated, can choose not to reply. Keep in mind, too, that even if a post doesn't sink in with the person it's directed towards, it's possible that others reading the thread could glean something from it.