Just need help and support

Ashleyash

New Member
Hi, I’m a mom in Miami, and I’m trying to help my son who has ADHD, Conduct Disorder, and depression. He’s been violent toward family members, and he’s now in the hospital after self-harming and threatening others.





I’m doing this alone—my husband isn’t really involved, and I’ve been handling everything by myself. I’ve tried asking for residential treatment, but it feels like no one’s listening.





I’m exhausted, scared, and honestly feel like I’m failing.





If anyone has been through something similar—or has gotten their child into residential care—please share anything that helped. I just need to know I’m not alone.
 

ksm

Well-Known Member
I have not had a child in residential care. Is there a social worker at the hospital you can talk to? If he's inpatient now most hospitals have a department for social workers help people get insurance or placement outside the hospital. It would be a good place to start.

In our state I applied for an SED waiver and social workers at the mental health facility help me apply. This is coverage through State health insurance, even if your child has coverage through his parents. The SED waiver (Severely Emotionally Disturbed) help to cover items that regular insurance or State insurance does not. At least that was the way it was about 10 years ago.

I hope you both can find help. It's hard doing this by yourself, especially when there's a parent that's not involved. Keep us updated. If you're not seeing the counselor for yourself you might try to get a referral. They can also help you navigate the system and be supportive of you.

Ksm
 

Nandina

Member
Hi Ashleyash and welcome. You are definitely not alone. Most of us on this site have faced similar situations with our kids and we understand better than anyone the stress, pain and sadness that you are going through.

First, a couple of questions: How old is your son? Are drugs involved or suspected?

I’m so sorry your husband is not participating in his son’s care. That makes it more difficult, but you can do this and it looks like you’re on the right track so far.

We had to put our son in residential treatment when he was a freshman in high school. He was depressed, had suicide ideology and had become violent, punching, kicking walls, etc. He was there for a couple of months.

It is good that your son is already hospitalized. I am assuming it is a mental health hospital? I’m not sure if you’re in the US, or what your insurance situation is, but usually the hospital will help get your son into a longer term residential placement where he will get psychologically evaluated and treated which will probably involve intensive therapy and medication.

Please continue to post and read here. We care about you. Other members who have similar experiences will be along shortly to offer their thoughts.

Best wishes to you and please keep us posted.

Hugs, Nandina
 

Copabanana

Well-Known Member
Almost all of us have been in your shoes or very similar ones. I, too, am wondering your child's age. With a diagnosis of Conduct Disorder, this implies teenage years, not yet adulthood. If he is still in high school, the school district is legally obligated to help you find and pay for residential treatment if your child is on an IEP. From what you write, your son should qualify for Special Education with an IEP, if he doesn't already have one. My son was always in special education with an IEP based on ADHD alone. Depression is also qualifying. The school districts can be difficult when disorders of conduct disorders are involved. With depressed teen males, disordered conduct is very frequently part of depression. I worked in schools and sat on IEP committees. Please keep posting. You will find support here.

The very first thing to do is request an immediate emergency IEP in writing. You should be able to find a community member to help as an advocate. Eventually, I was able to find a free attorney from a Special Education Rights and Advocacy program, but that was because I was living near a big city.
 


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